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Hmm. How do you say you're... [rant]
12 years ago
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Enter stuff here~~~~
---✖--- ...lonely without sounding desperate? Because damn I feel pretty lonely. It's not a new feeling but you know how you go so long without something and then all you do is think about it, or crave it? I am having people withdrawals.
Certain people too. Trust me, working as a cashier I talk to plenty of people throughout the day.. but none of them matter to me so it's different and doesn't fulfill that need.
God I sound like such a dork! x_x
I can't talk about this stuff with anyone because it's so.. sappy. I feel like a loser oh lordy. Maybe that's my problem too though. I don't like people being nosy or in my business even when that's the only way someone could get to know me. I used to pretend I was a full blown lesbian just so I'd feel safe talking to guys. Yup. In my head if I let it slip I was a lesbian they'd put their guards down and never suspect I was checking them out or crushing on them, and I'd be safe to be myself around them because "Hey she's a lesbian it's not like she's trying to impress us!".
:<
I've been having stress dreams a lot lately. About money mostly, but every now and then I dream about being with old friends and even an ex. The money ones suck but the ones about people always leave me not wanting to wake up because I miss them so much. I just want a connection with someone again, but I don't know how.. I've never really known how. I am so bad at things like that.
Even now I feel like I need to justify this rant journal. Like, apologize for being myself and typing words that you don't even have to read. Like hey guys don't think I'm a pathetic loser because I'm ranting about being lonely and missing certain people on a furry art site hurrrrrr. What is wrong with me.
Certain people too. Trust me, working as a cashier I talk to plenty of people throughout the day.. but none of them matter to me so it's different and doesn't fulfill that need.
God I sound like such a dork! x_x
I can't talk about this stuff with anyone because it's so.. sappy. I feel like a loser oh lordy. Maybe that's my problem too though. I don't like people being nosy or in my business even when that's the only way someone could get to know me. I used to pretend I was a full blown lesbian just so I'd feel safe talking to guys. Yup. In my head if I let it slip I was a lesbian they'd put their guards down and never suspect I was checking them out or crushing on them, and I'd be safe to be myself around them because "Hey she's a lesbian it's not like she's trying to impress us!".
:<
I've been having stress dreams a lot lately. About money mostly, but every now and then I dream about being with old friends and even an ex. The money ones suck but the ones about people always leave me not wanting to wake up because I miss them so much. I just want a connection with someone again, but I don't know how.. I've never really known how. I am so bad at things like that.
Even now I feel like I need to justify this rant journal. Like, apologize for being myself and typing words that you don't even have to read. Like hey guys don't think I'm a pathetic loser because I'm ranting about being lonely and missing certain people on a furry art site hurrrrrr. What is wrong with me.
Best answer. xD
I sure hope so. I'm tired of dreaming crazy shit.
*hugs* just be strong. Things will eventually change for the better one day
Pretty much, i got sick tired of being what i was and once i got a taste of what its like to be different, i got addicted to it. Sometimes you gotta meet alittle more than halfway, even if you gotta drag one foot at a time.
Being an introvert can really... really suck.
And on the subject of you hising -- talking to someone without getting them to know you can be hard -- I dunno, how much can you talk about some unrelated things? :) And even unrelated ones need to be interesting for both.
... They usually freak out when I start joking :)
Yeah, I've had pretty severe people withdrawal since the local furmeet broke up, cried myself to sleep a few times, and yeah, talking to people online or family doesn't help it. My advice is to call up some old friends... you'd be surprised who would be happy to hang out for lunch.