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COMMISSIONS --- also, ramblings of a dergon
11 years ago
Hello everyone,
I've been off of FA and messengers for what feels like quite a while now, and some of you may or may have not seen the last journal posted by that fishbutt SBW-Tusachi. (Grah has been so freaking supportive, I can't even express it properly. I wouldn't have gotten better without him. He needs hugs; right now.) In that journal Grah described how I was hospitalized and quite sick afterwards. It was a fairly long road to recovery, yet I'm happy to say that I'm back to normal and healthy now, or at least close to it! Still have the occasional sub-par day and have my struggles, like we all do, but most days I can at least function. During that all however, I've had a lot of time to think. I'm making this journal as a kind of release to get all those things off of my mind, as it's been weighing on me heavily. It's not bad though, I hope I can use this to get talking to people and drawing again!
Obviously at first the reason I disappeared for a while was that I was sick. (btw, what I was ill with was the flu and bronchitis, along with a very strange case of “air pockets” forming in my lungs. The doctors didn't have a clue what was causing it, but said that they'd heal with time and rest, which it did! It really took it out of me at the time though, I seriously couldn't move an inch without getting winded and having to fall to the floor.) Even so, as people who know me well have discovered, I am nearly always invisible on messengers lately, even though I'm technically online. I haven't been speaking to many people, and for the ones that I do, it must be very annoying to never know what my status is. Well, I've been doing this out of a sort of anxiety, feeling overwhelmed every time I would actually sign on. It's not that I didn't want to talk to people, it's more that I would feel unable to focus on what they would say. I was afraid that I couldn't show people the attention I wanted to give them and thought I needed to show them. When it wasn't that, the strong emotions of guilt and apprehension made most time spent online unbearable. That combined with the physical problems really led to this situation.
I've been receiving advice and help from Grah and those close to me, learning strategies to deal with this. I admit I was a bit afraid to commit to this journal and take the plunge in terms of talking to people, but feeling like I'm messing up all the time and neglecting the people I've met has become even -more- unbearable. I'm a little afraid that it'll get difficult again, but I'm not going to stay invisible on messenger anymore. If I do get physically ill and/or hospitalized again, I will tell people and come back asap. All I ask is that when I first sign on again, please be patient with me in terms of how quickly I might respond if you do message me. I am really really thankful for everybody being supportive, and I don't want to make people feel any worse by showing up online yet not saying anything (this is the kind of thing I worry/worried about). This is honestly difficult for me is all and will take some time; I have a lot of love I want to show you all ;; I mean that though, I really do want to talk to you though, (yes YOU! *points a claw at*) so please do message me if I don't right away! One last thought is that if any other people out there have similar issues of anxiety or fear when it comes to signing on and talking, please do leave a comment or note or whatnot. It really helps to feel less worried about it.
I'm planning on redoing my FA a bit, as well as DA eventually, and some other things like setting up a new business email, etc... I'll post that information on my profile here when it does change. My messenger ID is pretty much always Kulbara still, no change there.
As far as posting things here goes, I haven't done so in a while, but I really want to start. I can't tell you how many sketched/nearly finished pieces I've got sitting around my desktop and whatnot, that I've not posted out of nervousness. So expect to start seeing some new things from me! That brings me to commissions, which I strongly desire to do. I'd like to do what my good buddy ArcticFrigidFrostFox has done recently by opening 1-3 slots for sketches, nothing too heavy. I would like to go for a rate of $10 for a sketch at first, and move up to $15 after completing a few. (By the way, if you've not seen his art or checked his commissions, gogo right now! >.=.< He's amazing!). I need the money, for one. I'm not, but it actually would be my single source of income right now, which only helps to motivate even more to open for these commissions. The reason I haven't opened for them already however, is that I've got many older requests and drawings that I still need to do for some folks. These drawings have weighed on my mind, I really want to do them, but quite honestly I'm intimidated by them. I've been very unsure and insecure about my own work in the past, but the problem has been that I'd let it stop me from drawing, which would compound the feelings of regret and inability to the point of being unable to function. I won't do that anymore (hence this journal).
What I'd like to do is use these new sketch-missions to get back in the groove of art, at least doing a few before tackling the older things I'm a bit intimidated of. Honestly, the thought of these older drawings has even prevented me from posting things, because I worried I'd anger people by drawing anything that wasn't “proper”. I do promise however that I'll still do any requests or commissions that I've agreed to in the past that I haven't done yet. Really do want to warm up with this first like I said though. The pride of accomplishing these things and making people happy would really make me feel more confident I think. That, and these are going to be sketchier things, but I'd also like to work up to more detailed/intense commissions, like fully colored things and sequences, and also a few other ideas rolling around in my skull.
So yes! Expect me to be online from now on, like a normal freaking person! >3 You'll also be seeing more posts, likely soon after this journal is posted even. Other than that, commission details are below, and I'll talk to you more in either notes, or in messenger! See you soon!
Much love, Kulbara
I'm opening commissions for the above reasons, but just to recap: I need the money for food and medicine, motivation, confidence, and the progress towards more projects in the future. I've no other source of income at the moment, and have been wanting to do commissions for quite a long while. Am also saving for a trip for certain creaturey people to visit/be visited. ^^
Examples of the work you can expect are in my gallery, though I will be posting more of my own drawings soon that will provide a more recent and better example.
Methods of contact/payment:
1. Note me if interested, or contact via messenge if I've added you. Will send Paypal info and email through that.
2. I will respond to any/all notes. If I have to say no, I will talk about why, keep your name on a priority list, and who knows? In the future, I may draw your idea still!
3. Will draw your pic first, then will show you a preview via stream. Only after the commissioner is satisfied will I accept payment.
I've been off of FA and messengers for what feels like quite a while now, and some of you may or may have not seen the last journal posted by that fishbutt SBW-Tusachi. (Grah has been so freaking supportive, I can't even express it properly. I wouldn't have gotten better without him. He needs hugs; right now.) In that journal Grah described how I was hospitalized and quite sick afterwards. It was a fairly long road to recovery, yet I'm happy to say that I'm back to normal and healthy now, or at least close to it! Still have the occasional sub-par day and have my struggles, like we all do, but most days I can at least function. During that all however, I've had a lot of time to think. I'm making this journal as a kind of release to get all those things off of my mind, as it's been weighing on me heavily. It's not bad though, I hope I can use this to get talking to people and drawing again!
Obviously at first the reason I disappeared for a while was that I was sick. (btw, what I was ill with was the flu and bronchitis, along with a very strange case of “air pockets” forming in my lungs. The doctors didn't have a clue what was causing it, but said that they'd heal with time and rest, which it did! It really took it out of me at the time though, I seriously couldn't move an inch without getting winded and having to fall to the floor.) Even so, as people who know me well have discovered, I am nearly always invisible on messengers lately, even though I'm technically online. I haven't been speaking to many people, and for the ones that I do, it must be very annoying to never know what my status is. Well, I've been doing this out of a sort of anxiety, feeling overwhelmed every time I would actually sign on. It's not that I didn't want to talk to people, it's more that I would feel unable to focus on what they would say. I was afraid that I couldn't show people the attention I wanted to give them and thought I needed to show them. When it wasn't that, the strong emotions of guilt and apprehension made most time spent online unbearable. That combined with the physical problems really led to this situation.
I've been receiving advice and help from Grah and those close to me, learning strategies to deal with this. I admit I was a bit afraid to commit to this journal and take the plunge in terms of talking to people, but feeling like I'm messing up all the time and neglecting the people I've met has become even -more- unbearable. I'm a little afraid that it'll get difficult again, but I'm not going to stay invisible on messenger anymore. If I do get physically ill and/or hospitalized again, I will tell people and come back asap. All I ask is that when I first sign on again, please be patient with me in terms of how quickly I might respond if you do message me. I am really really thankful for everybody being supportive, and I don't want to make people feel any worse by showing up online yet not saying anything (this is the kind of thing I worry/worried about). This is honestly difficult for me is all and will take some time; I have a lot of love I want to show you all ;; I mean that though, I really do want to talk to you though, (yes YOU! *points a claw at*) so please do message me if I don't right away! One last thought is that if any other people out there have similar issues of anxiety or fear when it comes to signing on and talking, please do leave a comment or note or whatnot. It really helps to feel less worried about it.
I'm planning on redoing my FA a bit, as well as DA eventually, and some other things like setting up a new business email, etc... I'll post that information on my profile here when it does change. My messenger ID is pretty much always Kulbara still, no change there.
As far as posting things here goes, I haven't done so in a while, but I really want to start. I can't tell you how many sketched/nearly finished pieces I've got sitting around my desktop and whatnot, that I've not posted out of nervousness. So expect to start seeing some new things from me! That brings me to commissions, which I strongly desire to do. I'd like to do what my good buddy ArcticFrigidFrostFox has done recently by opening 1-3 slots for sketches, nothing too heavy. I would like to go for a rate of $10 for a sketch at first, and move up to $15 after completing a few. (By the way, if you've not seen his art or checked his commissions, gogo right now! >.=.< He's amazing!). I need the money, for one. I'm not, but it actually would be my single source of income right now, which only helps to motivate even more to open for these commissions. The reason I haven't opened for them already however, is that I've got many older requests and drawings that I still need to do for some folks. These drawings have weighed on my mind, I really want to do them, but quite honestly I'm intimidated by them. I've been very unsure and insecure about my own work in the past, but the problem has been that I'd let it stop me from drawing, which would compound the feelings of regret and inability to the point of being unable to function. I won't do that anymore (hence this journal).
What I'd like to do is use these new sketch-missions to get back in the groove of art, at least doing a few before tackling the older things I'm a bit intimidated of. Honestly, the thought of these older drawings has even prevented me from posting things, because I worried I'd anger people by drawing anything that wasn't “proper”. I do promise however that I'll still do any requests or commissions that I've agreed to in the past that I haven't done yet. Really do want to warm up with this first like I said though. The pride of accomplishing these things and making people happy would really make me feel more confident I think. That, and these are going to be sketchier things, but I'd also like to work up to more detailed/intense commissions, like fully colored things and sequences, and also a few other ideas rolling around in my skull.
So yes! Expect me to be online from now on, like a normal freaking person! >3 You'll also be seeing more posts, likely soon after this journal is posted even. Other than that, commission details are below, and I'll talk to you more in either notes, or in messenger! See you soon!
Much love, Kulbara
I'm opening commissions for the above reasons, but just to recap: I need the money for food and medicine, motivation, confidence, and the progress towards more projects in the future. I've no other source of income at the moment, and have been wanting to do commissions for quite a long while. Am also saving for a trip for certain creaturey people to visit/be visited. ^^
---
Price:
$10.
Quality:
Cleaned/Refined Sketches. Not chickenscratch sketchings, not meticulously inked (unless perhaps I really love your idea :3 )
Quantity:
1 slot at first, moving up to 3 slots later once comfortable.
Sequences are fine and even desired, but would require discussion.
Extra simple characters are usually fine, complex characters would require discussion.
Subject:
-Dragons c:
-Transformation
-Any of the 'mons (Pokemon, Digimon, etc...)
-Transformation
-Icons
-Fanart (To a point, may need to discuss)
-Anything with paws, a tail, and a muzzle really
-Did I mention transformation?
-If it's something else, we'll have to discuss, but I'm generally open!
I will draw tame and/or mature subject matter, but I reserve the right to choose what I want to draw. I need to stay motivated and excited to draw these things, at least for the time being.
Examples of the work you can expect are in my gallery, though I will be posting more of my own drawings soon that will provide a more recent and better example.
Methods of contact/payment:
1. Note me if interested, or contact via messenge if I've added you. Will send Paypal info and email through that.
2. I will respond to any/all notes. If I have to say no, I will talk about why, keep your name on a priority list, and who knows? In the future, I may draw your idea still!
3. Will draw your pic first, then will show you a preview via stream. Only after the commissioner is satisfied will I accept payment.
Also, while I know it's best not to rush things and expect too-quick results, I really hope it doesn't take too much time >3 But I'm okay if it does. As long as there's improvement.
Unless you were up for a trade, the only thing i can do mail you money x3""
Just be sure to take things slow and don't overdo it, but I know there's tons of people that'll be happy to see you doin' things~
Also good to see you again, fuzzbutt!
Now with you around maybe i can start finishing these sketches i did for ya <3
Cant wait to see whatever artgasm is to come from ya xD
And as you're opening up for commissions, do you think you might let me commission ya? :P
Of course I'd draw something for ya! Just send me a note or send me a message and we can talk about details and such! It'd be a pleasure!
Awesome <3 I'll think of some ideas for ya :)
Anyhoo, it is good to see you back online and doing well. ^^
And of course bro, we'd all want you around always, you're a blast :) I know the navy sucks you dry (har) so I know it's not usually your fault for being offline. Just look forward to the day that you're back and off the boat!
Great to see you too!
And that's cool that you want to open up commissions. I'd like to if I ever get any money to spend XD. But I can give you one little advice. Always accept payment first. There are scammers that will ask for the piece first and then say they would pay you. But half the time it's a scam for a free piece. Also I have had recently where I had to wait a whole month for a payment, that I needed, from a popular commissioner. Mostly because he spent too much on other people too, so I got fudged.
Anyways, good luck with them and to your health as well