So I think im coming up to the time in my life when I need to stop and look at my life again, and think about where it is i am heading again. this is the frist time in a while that i start to requestion myself and all that i have done in the past year and wounder: "am i truely happy? is this where i want to be?if not, why do i stay? and if i can fix it how and where do i go from here?" i really need to look at the big picture and ask all the questions and do wat is right for me not others but me. i know i have hurt many in the past year and that i might hurt more this year but i have seen that it is all i have been doing for a long time, and i know its b/c im hurting and unhappy with things in my life. and i need to stop it and grow up some and really look deep inside for wat my heart, soul and life need. and i know no one will really read this and give a damn for wat it is i have to so b/c for in the end i know that its just me out here in this world and that i have done nothing but push and throw everyone away.and for this im sorry i dont know of wat i do but i know in my mind its all my doing and that no one should have someone like me in their lives messing them up just b/c im unhappy. i know how bad this sounds but im not going to try or kill myself its just me trying to step back and look at my life. so if anyone is out there please talk to me and help me see me for me and maybe just maybe i can learn to start over