Sadly, I haven't been uploading anything but I recently got back to drawing, so maybe it's going to change soon. And while it's all on the paper still, why not give another bump to this journal thingy.

I went to a furry convention this year, it was awesome. Can't really find a better word or the energy to elaborate, but yes, geek conventions are the best. Or at least the furry ones. So much feels. Wonderful. I love my fandom.

In less wonderful news, I got into and out of a new relationship in a span of a month. It started on the con and didn't really stand the test of mundane, non-festive living. It's hard for me to say wthether the person is flat-out bad or just "not the right one", but my heart was protesting eagerly, so I resigned - despite a sincere and passionate feeling from the other side.

Some other time, maybe I would give this a try. But now there appeared too little trust to move further.

I hate that my therapist hardly said anything besides "it's all in my head", that I just projected my faults on the guy, recognized my own shortcomings and got appalled. She didn't say and even specifically noted so, that I can't make my own decisions and see for myself which relationship is promising and which is not, who's a good person and who isn't, but my guilt complex only needed that much to raise its ugly head and wiggle it in acceptance. Yes, this is exactly what I need after around two years of blaming myself for my own infatuation: feel bad for turning down another one. I mean, seeing how "graciously" I handled being dumped myself, it's obvious I would - so why rub salt in the wound?

siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh

I think I officially hate romance. I can see and explain how beast-headed people make sense, but this thing - not so much. It must have been invented by devil.