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There’s something actually wrong with my brain.
11 years ago
General
I don’t remember things, most things. I’ve had memory problems my whole life, and been yelled at, called dumb, or irresponsible because I don’t remember to do things I’m supposed to do.
I don’t remember most of my life, and what I do remember is fragmented in little bits and pieces that I can’t pin down. It’s like chasing confetti in a wind storm.
I had an appointment the other day with a specialist for my supposed depression and anxiety, but after about 45 minutes he put his pen down, turned to my girlfriend who was in the room and told her, not me “I can’t help him, he needs to see a neurologist, there’s a lot more wrong than psychological problems.”
This was after he asked me why no one had ever noticed my memory problems before, as far as I knew no one had. No one had cared to wonder why I was unable to remember, or why I didn’t seem to do things I was supposed to. No one thought “Huh, that’s not normal” Instead it was “oh, he’s just lazy/irresponsible”
But as it turns out that’s not even all of it. My grandparents knew… they talked to my mother about it, and she did nothing. I can’t even begin to describe how much that hurts. She passed it off as A.D.D. because she couldn’t even be bothered to investigate further.
That might not be so bad if her behavior wasn’t so self serving everywhere else. I might be able to accept that, except anything that’s ever been an inconvenience for her has been ignored, or she somehow has a problem far worse, as though to make the other problem insubstantial no matter how bad it is.
My whole life I’ve gone with this problem and SHE KNEW AND DID NOTHING BECAUSE IT WAS MORE CONVENIENT TO CALL ME NAMES.
The take away from this, the reason I’m writing this at all aside from getting it off my chest is that I want people to realize something. If someone has odd behavior, or trouble with things, don’t just pass it off as a flaw, have some consideration. There could be a lot more going on than you know.
The next step for me is an appointment with a Neurologist in September, finding out why my entire life is a blur.
I don’t remember most of my life, and what I do remember is fragmented in little bits and pieces that I can’t pin down. It’s like chasing confetti in a wind storm.
I had an appointment the other day with a specialist for my supposed depression and anxiety, but after about 45 minutes he put his pen down, turned to my girlfriend who was in the room and told her, not me “I can’t help him, he needs to see a neurologist, there’s a lot more wrong than psychological problems.”
This was after he asked me why no one had ever noticed my memory problems before, as far as I knew no one had. No one had cared to wonder why I was unable to remember, or why I didn’t seem to do things I was supposed to. No one thought “Huh, that’s not normal” Instead it was “oh, he’s just lazy/irresponsible”
But as it turns out that’s not even all of it. My grandparents knew… they talked to my mother about it, and she did nothing. I can’t even begin to describe how much that hurts. She passed it off as A.D.D. because she couldn’t even be bothered to investigate further.
That might not be so bad if her behavior wasn’t so self serving everywhere else. I might be able to accept that, except anything that’s ever been an inconvenience for her has been ignored, or she somehow has a problem far worse, as though to make the other problem insubstantial no matter how bad it is.
My whole life I’ve gone with this problem and SHE KNEW AND DID NOTHING BECAUSE IT WAS MORE CONVENIENT TO CALL ME NAMES.
The take away from this, the reason I’m writing this at all aside from getting it off my chest is that I want people to realize something. If someone has odd behavior, or trouble with things, don’t just pass it off as a flaw, have some consideration. There could be a lot more going on than you know.
The next step for me is an appointment with a Neurologist in September, finding out why my entire life is a blur.
(off topic there are various people that have problems right now and i watch their journals, they make me sad because most of them are like depressed)
best of the lucks
I always tend to preach about tolerance, acceptance, and consideration for others, even (sometimes especially) if you don't understand or agree with them.
Regardless, its sad to hear you went through such traumatic experiences with the name calling, the insinuations of your intelligence, and the lack of caring from your mother. Hopefully you'll be able to get any help you need to rebuild some stability in your way of living.
On the other hand, I have browsed the Internet about the ADD (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ADD), and this disorder has the longest name (no pun intended) I've ever seen in my entire life! I hope that the link I provided beforehand can help you a little to know more about it...