No, dying is not the meaning! We all have to live our lives to the fullest, including you. Killing yourself may end up having people hate you and want to not remember you. Death solves nothing. You have to understand that you have to keep on living.

Your right, people might end up hating me, but that would make them remember me. Honestly... I don't even know anymore, I search for a meaning of my life and I find none... because I suffer every single day, everyday is suffering and thats no life at all. I've been trying to fix things, to not suffer anymore, but it seems like each of my atempts have failed so far.

I just don't know, I keep fighting, but I'm tired, I don't know how long I can still hold up and the idea of suicide seem more enticing with each passing days.

People will want to forget you if you committ suicide. Please listen to me. They'll thonk you're a jerk and make sure that you are not forgotten. Hopefully, you stick around.

Don't you do it, suicide is never the answer. That will hurt more lives then anything.
Watch "Hugo" it might help you. It helped me understand how to make a mark on the world.

My friend is right. Don't kill yourself, it is not going to solve the problem. Don't do it, people who kill themselves, only go straight to hell where you will burn. Don't do it, We beg you don't do it. Talk to us more and we will help you.

not killing yourself and taking your life in your hands would be a symbol of strenght and willpower againsts hardship, killing yourself would represent the oposite

Don't kill yourself Kernac, please.
You don't want people to remember you because you decided to kill yourself, make people remember you for what you do, good things and such... Make it where they go "Oh there's Kernac, he's a pretty cool guy from what I know of him." or such.

Death is never the best way to deal with things, I figured that out yeeeears ago and no matter how shitty my life gets, how lonely.. I NEVER think about "that" option.

Don't kill yourself bud...make people remember you for the good things like Kiya said. I've had my fair share of down times but I've never thought of killing myself. I want to make my mark on people around me but I never considered doing it by death. I want people to know me for my good qualities and for them to accept my bad quirks. No matter how bad life gets, don't ever consider taking your own life. That's not the way to get people to remember you.

Please don't end it now... It must be hard but don't give up. Even though I don't really know that feeling but I'd feel bad if you wen away.

That is never the answer. People want to remember you for how you live you life, not how it ends. *hugs tight*

Listen closely to me, because I'm about to rock your damn world:

I tried to kill myself in April of 2013. Yes, that is just over a year ago, good job.

I've suffered with bipolar disorder for the greater part of my life, and it's compounded by anxiety, panic attacks, and severe ADD that makes me just misplace my own brain a bunch. Think I'm one of those self-diagnosed WebMD hacksaws? Not a chance. I have four separate diagnosed mental disorders, and they all suck. They suck so much I made out with a shotgun. But that was too scary for me, so I ended up grabbing a paper knife and carving my arm open. Perfectly straight line, deeper with every stroke.

The ambulance grabbed me, took me in. I spent a week in a hellhole of a hospital where I was mistreated by a totally unlicensed counselor, a crew of orderlies that were incorrigible gossips I knew from my past, and a doctor shoving tranquilizers down my throat that made me so ill, dizzy, nauseous that I couldn't walk. Threw up in the sink to fucking prove it. They took me off the ativan. Good for them, good for me.

I got out of that hospital filled with hatred for the medical crew there, for myself, for my weakness. I never, NEVER tried to fade out because of attention or because I was ignored. I tried to fade out because I was in constant pain, emotional and physical. I can't work a normal job because offices and deadlines terrify me. I can't sleep properly at night because I feel like I'm losing hours from my life. I can't relax because my entire nervous system hates every inch of me. I felt everything all the time and I hated it. I convinced myself nobody would miss me, nobody would care. But I NEVER told anyone that. Wanna know why? Because it wouldn't matter. If nobody cared, who'd wanna hear that shit?

But you. You lash out constantly, always SAYING nobody cares, that you make no impact, that you don't matter. If you really believed that you'd not see a point in saying it. You want attention, and that is NOT A BAD THING. Human beings need attention, we need love and care and feeling. But goddammit, this is NOT how you get that. Why not try being personable, talking to people as equals instead of stepping stones you tread on to reach this golden obsession with affection you have? I know what you want. I know what you need. I know you are going after it entirely wrongly.

TL;DR: If you want to make a difference, if you want to be loved, then get involved with people. Share some interests, make pleasant conversation. Work on being loved. It's not an instant thing, and you CANNOT get it by crying out "Save me with attention before I die!" so very often. You don't need to die, you don't WANT to die. You want love. So go get it.

Ummm, thats not exatly correct, because I did get love, but somehow I still felt really bad.

Its hard to explain, but I did make new friends, and they do seem to give me a lot of love, and when they do it does make me feel good... but only for so long. They can't be around 24/7, and when they aren't there I immediatly begin to feel really bad, worthless and feeling like no one loves me, even tho people gave my love not that long ago.

I still have a month to wait til my next appointment with my psychiatrist, and there is no way to speed things up. I do get love, but its like its not enongh for my brain, I would need to be loved all the time, but thats just not possible.

I don't know what I want, it feels like I want love, but I still feel empty inside even when I get love. I don't know what I want or what I need.

You know what's not entirely correct? You saying constantly, PUBLICLY that you might or should kill yourself. Do you have any idea the stress that puts on people, the ones who might take that threat seriously? It's a real shitty thing to say, and suicide would be an even shittier thing to do.

Besides, you just admitted to not getting enough love, or attention, or what have you. That need alone is not exactly a grand thing to have.

Don't make excuses for yourself. Stop emotionally blackmailing anyone who'll read this stuff and start just treating yourself with some respect. The psychiatrist, I'm sure, will help. Even so, THINK about what this does, think about how often you say it and why you do. You wanna make an impression, you wanna be remembered––you want ATTENTION, always more attention. If you commit suicide you will get one small burst of attention and then be forgotten, not to mention the fact that it'll all be negative.

Think about the limitations of mortality. Really, do you believe you can help yourself after you're gone? Do you honestly think that'll make anything better at all? SPOILER: It won't.

So your basicly telling me to stop being a wuss and man up?

Also, I know this isn't fair from me, but the thing is I'm in too much pain to really care about fairness... Do you think I only want attention? It feels like this is what I want, however this is not my natural state, when I am not depressed I do fine without any attention and have gone months without giving or getting any attentions.

I am aware that I have been posting these kinds of journals for a long time, however when I get depressed it is pretty rare for me to post a journal, maybe 1 out of 10 times I do, so it doesn't feel like I do it often from my point of view, but the thing is, I do get depressed very often.

I'm not telling you to "man up." Honestly that might be one of the most offensive phrases in common language. Nor did I call you a wuss. I, effectively, called you an emotional leech. Look, I know I'm being harsh, but that's because I feel like you use these suicide threats to fish for hugbox compliments, whereas there are people like me who DON'T ask for help or meaning or anything and just decide, one day, to try to die. I think you're making light of something extremely dire for petty reasons, and I don't like it.

I'd rather not have said that so bluntly, but there it is. No wuss, no man-up, just a big fat "stop this specific action."

There's already plenty of people that are responding to this journal in order to pull yourself out of this depressive slump, and I myself feel the same. Life always has a reason and everyone has there's, and sometimes it takes a time to find it. I still havent found my meaning of life, but I pursue goals and make friends to help make a path to what my meaning is, and you have enough friends to be known, and to make an impact just saying kind words, doing kind thingd, and making wonderful art. You have a meaning right now, and that is to make people happy every time they see you, talk to you, and look at your art. You make a bigger impact than you give yourself credit for, and I'm here to say what that impact is. Kernac, the message we as friends are giving you is, that everything is ok and we'll support you all the way through your life! Especially me, I promise you, everyone will.

Stop being dumb, you think bringing sorrow to others, would make you camest forth out of anonymity.
"Leave all fear when you enter in the dark path curve," not to weigh not to be known by others, no one will care about his death.
I had the same idea you a rough idea, loose, loose.
Wake up, God has more to give than the devil to remove. Do not be fooled by the disappointments that come in your way, wake up to life.
Stop being a wimp and ass more human, indolent unless you believe that in death, all things improve. Remember you have friends here, of what you need, we'll be here forever. Please leave this insane idea aside because I have already insane.

*hugs* i would miss you

Please don't do this. Everyone else is right. Committing suicide is never the answer. No matter how stressed you are or how much anger or sadness is pent up, you've got to find some way to get rid of those feelings; otherwise, they're going to take control of you. They will make you think differently about your life, change your emotions, and pretty much turn your life upside-down. I have not thought about committing suicide, nor will I ever want to, because it's just not right. There is just so much in this world, and if you purposely kill yourself, you will never be able to see your friends, family, or anyone else ever again. Suicide really is an awful thing, and seeing people write about this crap on the Internet just makes me want to cry. If you seriously think you are going to be remembered by killing yourself, then I suggest you reconsider that, because you won't. It's that simple.

This is just a continuation of my last post.


I'm not trying to act rude towards you, but it's the truth. Ending your life so suddenly will not get you remembered; maybe by your friends and family, yes, but anyone else, highly doubtful. I really have seen stuff like this before on other sites, and it just upsets me so much when people want to purposefully end their lives just because they are upset. Remember, if a problem ever arises, it CAN be solved. All it takes is just a little help from your family and your pals, and before you know it, you won't want to commit suicide. I'm begging you, Kernac, PLEASE don't kill yourself because you are unhappy/depressed. It will not solve anything.

No. Don't do it!