I don't know. Sometimes I feel a little lost. I hadn't felt that way in a long time. I keep wanting to pick up paper and pencil again and draw but all I do is stare at it. It's like I am scared to try and draw again. I hadn't really had my heart in it since 2008. I tried a year or so again and it was fine but then those feelings came back. I ran into the photo that caused me pain and hurt. I threw it into my storage. I don't want to see it again. It was painful and I lost my confidence in drawing Furry Art, my OCs, Fan Art, etc.

All because someone didn't like me, was either jealous of me or something. I was hurt that the person who commissioned me didn't talk to me and get me to correct it. Instead they listened to the second person and ignored me. Then when I made a simple rant with no names mentioned the second person ran and mentioned it. Causing an argument and me being demoted and ignored. Then a new banner thrown into my face all because of what?

Yep, I am still hurt from that. I know it was over 6 years ago, but scars tend to stay with me. This scarred me emotionally that I am scared to draw and lost my touch. Whatever I do it doesn't look the same. How can someone who drew ever since they were a kid not be able to draw anymore? My husband keeps saying "Well if you don't use it, you loose it." I feel like that is true. It looks like a small child is drawing and I am embarrassed to even use it. It doesn't seem right. It.. It is like that isn't me drawing. So I am afraid. I compare it to my older stuff and its like "WTF is going on here!"

I was looking at some old works of Unknown. I need to start drawing her again. I love that Alter Ego. I think I will revert back to her old look with a minor tweak.

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Anyways.. Orange is the New Black season 2 is now on Netflex. Yay! I am happy about that. Looking forward to finishing it, but right now hubby wants to watch Season 1 to catch up. I guess it is okay.