Im suffering major depression. My past is terriable and the memories still haunt me, but the part that is the worst is that the friends i did have where I live I never hear from them and spend all my time sitting in my room ALONE. I was planning on moving to another town at the begining of September and to finally feel happieness, but just like every chance of happiness I ever had, it just vanishes right when I almost can grab onto it. I really dont know how much more I can take, I have just been trying to live on but every year after every year has wore down onto me to the point where I cant even smile anymore.

I need to move so badly cause having friends is all I got, but when I cant see them hardly at all it tears me apart, and then to come home every day to my mom who doesnt want to acknowledge that im gay and just yells at me all the time telling me to live my life but then freaks out when I try to. I just cant take this anymore. Why after all the stuff I have done for others, why do I have to be the one that continually suffers seeing others happy while I am all alone. What have I ever done to deserve this treatment.