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A Walk Down Memory Lane
11 years ago
I just went through my entire list of watchers and took the time to click on any of the names I recalled for one reason or another.
I had a look at their most recent submissions, faves, journals and shouts.
Some were sad because they've gone away. One or two were even listed as deceased.
But it felt like looking at a digital yearbook, as silly as it sounds. Some people moved accounts, so I could see the way it was even way back long ago. Some people had changed entirely. I could remember why I liked them or why we drifted apart.
It's left me with a sensation that makes me think of a warm copper-colored experience. Like apple cider.
The difference compared to a real yearbook was in many cases I could just send a shout or a PM or comment on a journal. Something that wasn't really an option with yearbooks, since I left my home town and had no one's phone numbers.
By the time I got around to seeing how the people I knew from school were doing, I didn't really know them anymore. The memories I had weren't the memories they had. They'd gotten new points of view that didn't remind me of them. A lot of them are married with kids and wishing they would've waited. The rest seem buried up to their ears in something religious, almost exclusively Christian or Baptist since those were the major religions in my tiny home town.
Thinking about them made me feel kinda unrelated to anything. I didn't keep up my obligation of staying in touch, it's true. I could've gotten emails or phone numbers and made an occasional ping of interest. I just didn't. I remembered to think about it once or twice over the years, but the inspiration to seek them out and get back to knowing just wasn't there. It felt more like a burden.
All in all, a part of me does miss my high school friends and acquaintances. I'm sure plenty of you can agree you don't realize how much you'll miss them until you're out of school. The whole time you're there you can't wait to get away. But by the third month after graduating, you kinda miss them. Even the teachers. I don't think I'd like those same people as much now. But if I would've stayed in touch I could have shared their changing interests and kept something in common.
So here and now it seems the strangers on the internet are my new classmates. In this school we get to put on faces and pretend to be cleaner, happier, and more attractive than we believe we are. And we get to keep plenty of secrets about ourselves that would otherwise be apparent. Lunch break where everyone sits and talks is the hours I spend streaming. Classes consist of those hours I spend reading about furry drama or current events or coming up with something handy like a new commission purchasing form for my website. And the final exams are when I need to take a suddenly sizable set of commissions or focus on cleaning up my queue. I'd say I have a barely passing grade on the exam front. Circled 60 is how my school called it. My parents are gonna ground me forever when they find out.
I had a look at their most recent submissions, faves, journals and shouts.
Some were sad because they've gone away. One or two were even listed as deceased.
But it felt like looking at a digital yearbook, as silly as it sounds. Some people moved accounts, so I could see the way it was even way back long ago. Some people had changed entirely. I could remember why I liked them or why we drifted apart.
It's left me with a sensation that makes me think of a warm copper-colored experience. Like apple cider.
The difference compared to a real yearbook was in many cases I could just send a shout or a PM or comment on a journal. Something that wasn't really an option with yearbooks, since I left my home town and had no one's phone numbers.
By the time I got around to seeing how the people I knew from school were doing, I didn't really know them anymore. The memories I had weren't the memories they had. They'd gotten new points of view that didn't remind me of them. A lot of them are married with kids and wishing they would've waited. The rest seem buried up to their ears in something religious, almost exclusively Christian or Baptist since those were the major religions in my tiny home town.
Thinking about them made me feel kinda unrelated to anything. I didn't keep up my obligation of staying in touch, it's true. I could've gotten emails or phone numbers and made an occasional ping of interest. I just didn't. I remembered to think about it once or twice over the years, but the inspiration to seek them out and get back to knowing just wasn't there. It felt more like a burden.
All in all, a part of me does miss my high school friends and acquaintances. I'm sure plenty of you can agree you don't realize how much you'll miss them until you're out of school. The whole time you're there you can't wait to get away. But by the third month after graduating, you kinda miss them. Even the teachers. I don't think I'd like those same people as much now. But if I would've stayed in touch I could have shared their changing interests and kept something in common.
So here and now it seems the strangers on the internet are my new classmates. In this school we get to put on faces and pretend to be cleaner, happier, and more attractive than we believe we are. And we get to keep plenty of secrets about ourselves that would otherwise be apparent. Lunch break where everyone sits and talks is the hours I spend streaming. Classes consist of those hours I spend reading about furry drama or current events or coming up with something handy like a new commission purchasing form for my website. And the final exams are when I need to take a suddenly sizable set of commissions or focus on cleaning up my queue. I'd say I have a barely passing grade on the exam front. Circled 60 is how my school called it. My parents are gonna ground me forever when they find out.
I do, myself, hope he's doing well.
That being said, there are a couple I miss hanging out with. But then they post something right wing on Facebook, and I'm not as bothered anymore.
And also most of them are getting married or having kids so it's getting harder to relate to them while I am limbo-ing as a fake cartoon animal, but whatever.
But yeah, going back and looking at your first watchers on here is totally weird, a lot of times the accounts haven't changed or are totally inactive!