1st world problems and furry jerkbag panhandlers.

*edit* If you have any you want me to add to the list we have all likely seen before but I didn't mention here, let me know and I will update this, even if you want to shoot me a note.

So... Maybe I'm just an asshole but this is a trend I am noticing more and more with people in this fandom, and in general.... Especially now with "crowdfunding" and "social media" and the like.

This journal was a long time coming...

Warning... May contain fucking harsh motherfucking language, and general truth spewing asscocks! Not for the squeamish of butt or those under the age of intelligence.

I’m going full George Carlin mode here: shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits!

First off, I want “you”, the reader of this here journal, to know I have no problem with people that want to rant about a shitty experience, or shitty service, or crappy product, or a bad day at work, or even life in general, especially if it is done in a hilarious, informative, or creative way… Hey, it hopefully saves me from running into the same shitty problem, so let ‘er rip...

This is specifically a rant about people that whine and bitch purely to get free money from nice people, and take advantage of the generosity of strangers and friends to do something greedy and selfish because they are having “First world Problems.”

OH MY GAWDS YOU WHINY, LYING, LAZY, LITTLE BITCHES! Stop taking advantage of all the nice people in this or any other fandom, and in general for that matter!

Don't ask for help or advice when all you want is ego stroking E-SYMPATHY and FREE MONEY, and then DELETE/IGNORE any RESPONSES from people like me ROOTED IN REALITY or trying to offer ACTUAL HELPFUL ADVICE that would fix your problem instead of you getting free money, you fucking, lying, predatory, little, fuzzy, douche-shark panhandlers!

I can understand if you have an actual legitimate reason to ask for money in an actual life or death type way, medical bills, sick pets, sick/dying family member, those are all perfectly acceptable reasons to ask for help and this journal is not for you at all… But not because you got bored of an old thing and want a new thing! And if you lie about said "actual" serious things to get a spooging Bad Dragon dildo then you deserve a special kind of facefucking with a rusty chainsaw! (I saw a furry asking for money for his sick puppy that didn't actually exist then make a journal a day later about getting a new horse cock dildo. I'm sorry but no one goes from sick puppy to bragging about getting a horse cock dildo the next day unless they were dirty fucking liars. It was later confirmed by an acquaintance of mine this person didn't even have a dog.)

There are a lot of nice people in this fandom and other fandoms, nice to a fault, that do not know when they are being taken for a ride or unable or willing to realize it and stand up to it because of all the “tolerance and love” bullshit I keep hearing about. I love this fandom, but I don’t tolerate shit! Tolerance is just another word for dealing with shit you hate or do not like. If you say you “tolerate” someone that just means you admitted to hating or not liking said person or thing. If someone says they tolerate gays, or tolerate jews, or anything like that, I say FUCK YOU! Hate me, love me, or don’t give a shit about me… But don’t tolerate me!

Oh how transparent you can be, when being P.C.
(heh… I’m a poet and didn’t even know it! I make a rhyme every time! I better stop here, before I start sounding queer.)

You may already know what I'm talking about, but in case not, here are some headline titles or conversations I see way too often, all over the place, with a bit of my signature ferretyness thrown in:

-Laptop broken, need money, life falling apart without easy access to porn… Err… I mean my job/college stuff, yeah, that’s it! Any donations help...
(It blue-screened once because you didn't bother to blow the dust out of the fan and it overheated and auto-shutdown. It is also not the world’s fault you never thought to make a back-up. In all reality you are just tired of it and want a newer/better one for free, you lying jackass.)

-My hard drive HDD may be dying, please help by donating to my so and so funding site. Any help or advice would be appreciated.
(This has got to be the most common one I see. And they always ask for help and advice when all they really want is FREE FUCKING MONEY! I have even offered people FREE WORKING HARD DRIVES and old RAM I have lying around if they would just pay for the shipping! I shit you not! And they always delete/ignore or give the run around the comments I leave, especially about how to troubleshoot computer problems or properly back it up, clone it, or do data recovery since I have done all that shit for a living, fuck I should charge THEM for the advice I give! Ungrateful shits.)

-I dropped my $300-600 cellphone and it broke... plz halp!
(First off you are a dumb ass for spending $300-600 on a damn cellphone that breaks just because you dropped it 2 feet and not getting a fucking warranty you little turd sniffer! I got a $75 android phone I can throw down the stairs without a single problem, perhaps you are just a consumer whore? Don't buy expensive shit if you can't take care of it or can't afford to lose it! And then you delete my "trying to be helpful like you asked for" comments about possibly getting a cheaper cell phone, or a metal otter-box case for the new one, or perhaps buy last year’s model, or a used one off e-bay, because you know people would realize you are trying to SCAM THEM when you didn't try taking said advice. You might as well just say "Give me money because I'm an idiot and want the iphone 6 because it has a higher numerical value than the iphone 5, but I can’t afford it right now" or keep it short and sweet “I want you to pay for something because I don’t want to” at least then you would have been honest. LOL)

-Miscellaneous expensive electronic item is broken/too old/a newer model is out and I tire of this one that still works perfectly fine... So buy my furry YCH Adoptable DLCs for an exaggerated and abnormally high price because I'm a "popufur" and you will pay anything to suck my overpriced smut drawing e-penis...
(Yup... Might as well call YCHs and Adoptables "Furry DLC" because that is what they are. I have seen people pay twice as much for “Furry DLC” than what said popufur asks for normal commission artwork because it had some story about how crappy life is without netflix, or grey goose vodka or such attached to it. Now if it had been Malibu rum and you wanted to share some with me, I woulda donated to that shit yo! In all honesty it is a free market and if people want to buy your stuff, more power to you, but don't make a bullshit story to try to wring some nice person of their every last penny.)

-I just spilled a glass of milk on the granite counter tops in my mom’s newly renovated kitchen, now I want to kill myself... plz donate to keep me alive!
(I shit you not... There are people that threaten the internet to kill themselves if they don't get free money from said internet... Is that like, holding yourself hostage? Do we need to send in a police negotiator to get you to let yourself go? You know what? Go ahead and do it! At least then I will know you were serious. I don't negotiate with terrorists. LOL)

-Uuugh… Life is so hard! I need a motor scooter because I don’t like walking the 1 mile back and forth from my apartment to college classes, but I can’t afford it. Halp plox!
(Okay… What the fuck is “plox”? Is that a person? Or some shitty dumbass internet way of saying “Please”? Okay, so you are not working and in college, and are a lazy fuckball, and you want OTHER PEOPLE to pay to get you a motor scooter? Let me guess, liberal arts degree? You want to be a game designer perhaps? LOfuckinL. Shit, you want a scooter so badly, take out a college loan or get a job and stop trying to take advantage of internet peeps, you lazy bag of dicks!)

-Bills for entertainment items too expensive, please pay them for me, I'll love you forever, or until the next person pays for my bills!
(I dunno... Howabout... NO! YOU FUCKING ASSHAT! If you cannot afford your Xbox live account or fucking Netflix subscriptions then that is just how life works. MASTURBATION IS FREE! And much more rewarding than Netflix or xbox.)

-I can't afford to go to a furry convention, please pay for my hotel room and plane tickets and I will give you a shitty 30 second sketch on a napkin if you donate over $50 and pay for the shipping of the napkin.
(You know what? FUCK YOU! You little dick shitting popufur. If you cannot afford to go to the furry convention, THEN DON'T FUCKING GO! Or maybe try doing commissions like the actual hard working artists and creative people in this fandom instead of using and abusing people for a free fucking ride for you to get drunk and fuck random strangers at a convention! It is assholes like you that are making this fandom less fun by the second with all your, "give me free stuff because I'm a self entitled douchebag with internet fame in a specific fandom." Guess what? Being popular in the furry fandom is like winning in the special Olympics... Even when you win, you are still a friggin' tard.)

-Going homeless... My roommates are jerkbags, or parents are assholes, and I need money to afford to move somewhere else.. Oh and my $2000 fursuit I just got is freaking awesome.
(Wait a minute... You know you have to pay rent every month or follow certain rules to live where you live.... Didn't you just brag about spending $1500 on a new fursuit and an Xbox one in a previous journal? You idiotic little shit bag, you spent your rent money on your stupid pointless shit didn't you?!? You know what? Enjoy being homeless you worthless shit, maybe your fursuit will keep you warm while you suck diseased dicks in back alleys for food money!)

And last, but not least…
-I’m lonely, and my internet fuckbuddy… Err… I mean person I love so very much that I have never met in the real world, or met at a furry convention ONCE and have known for an eternity in a online forum textfucking... I mean cuddling,... for a few WEEKS... wants me to fly 6bajillion miles out to him in Bumblefuck Egypt, but I can’t afford the plane ticket, will you please help me get there by donating to my crowd funding project? If you believe in true love… Give to me all your monies!!!
(This one is taken from YEARS of seeing this or similar shit… All I can say is… The dude or chick you love online is likely the opposite gender you are hoping for and like 20 years older or younger than you, if not a cop or serial killer. If you met them ONCE at a furry con, and by “met” I mean: fucked a random stranger you barely knew while high or drunk off your ass; It is probably best you find your love interest more locally, like within easy to reach distance that doesn’t involve panhandling for money from strangers to get you to the fuck dungeon, I mean, “lover” you are so sadly fucking desperate for, that is, in all honesty, most likely just going to end in heartbreak or your body getting dumped in a ditch.)

Anyway…
All of you jerkbag assholes, using and abusing the kindness of friends and strangers alike, in this fandom or elsewhere, either subconsciously or consciously, for your own material bullshit, need to fucking sit and spin on a rusty, spiked, AIDS coated, Ebola dick… And die.

Hopefully you get the idea what I’m talking about from these examples, and if any of these examples have pissed you off, then you are likely one of these types of greedy, lazy, panhandling, douchebags, taking advantage of nice people in the fandom. Now if you are actually agreeing with me, you are likely someone I would get along with. *chuckles*

Thank you. *bows* Rant over.

You may now go about your regular business… AS LONG AS THAT BUSINESS ISN'T RIPPING OFF KINDHEARTED PEOPLE!

Go ahead and link or re-post this journal all you want, somebody had to say this, might as well be me. ^_^