For those that care, I'm still around. Yes, I've been absent from most everything for some time however... My silly crafting projects, my chainmail, my endless list of hobbies... It's all kinda stopped for me while I simply try to rebuild things for myself. Long story short, I'm trying, and finally getting somewhere.

So this is the first year in a long time that I've even considered being able to go to a con. Yup, I can afford it, but life has dealt me a shit hand once again and some degenerate jackoff subspecies of human fucks stole my scooter, the thing that's kinda my only form of transportation besides the horrid bus. Cut the $45 Masterlock cable/lock combo with what appeared to be a hacksaw clean through. I've been zipping around on this because in this state it's considered a "Motorized Bicycle" and thus does not need plates, insurance, or even a helmet (though that is stupid and I always wear one). It's cheap, and easy, and works for now. I can't just "not have nice things" hell, I can't even have fucking things it seems.

So! With a bit of wisdom under this aging cats belt, I've devised a plan. I get a quarterly bonus from my work, and will be purching a new bike, 150cc (faster) and this one will need plates. Who cares, that means it will be insured this time, steal it all you like. BUT:

-A motion sensor light has now been installed... With twin 150W spotlights that are like the fucking SUN itself
-I have bought a Pragmasis Protector Chain. Look this up, British made, and "Uncroppable by all hand operated bolt cutters". Seriously... Look this up, it's worth it.
-I have another high security motorcycle chain and lock as well, that is still tough as shit that was given to me
-I'm have MORE chain from the hardware store, the biggest they sell. (Yes it's bolt cuttable for sure) but there is a WTF 3 chain factor going on to anyone that sees this
-I now have a Xena disc brake lock/alarm at 110 decibels
-I have a cover with a locking cable drawstring
-This is chained to an 8in thick concrete pillar that supports the porch

Does this seem like overkill? Let's go on!

A group of kids aged 10-15 have been scaling my 6 foot wooden fence and flat out invading my yard. (I do not live in a great neighborhood) Police have been far too slow to respond twice now, the first time it happened was the night of the scooter theft. Now, the landlord had put 4" screws all into the top of the fence, and painted it with thick ass nasty tar. I love the way he thinks... But see here's one up on that: I'm getting more tar, and lord knows there is no shortage of broken glass in my alley. With a precise mixture of tar AND broken glass, I will repaint the tops of the fence... And fishhooks, Maybe fishhooks... If I can find them in bulk. Anyone?

Now see here's my ideal rundown of this... The entire time this horrid loud beeping is going on someone has to get through 3 chains, and that disk lock, to roll the bike away, while nightblind, while I'm out the door using a brand of OC spray that police do not carry. Military grade, because it's so ignorantly horrid. While I'm aiming oh let's just say some over a buck a shot hollowpoints at them with my oh so inquisitive WTF face on.

This is where life has pushed me to. Yup. Sounds insane to ME even that I have to begin to think in such a manner for securing a shit ass 49cc scooter. But I'm flat out tired of being fucked with. I will stave off the stories of my last house being broke into, a guy shot in my front lawn, and another scooter going missing from there before I moved. Lateral slide much?

Folks I'm sorry but I'm not going to be able to make MFF this year. I have other financial things I need to focus on, like assembling the last bits of this ignorant ACME based security plan for securing another bike. Live goes on, there will be other cons. On the plus side, I may start posting more projects soon, and for those local to me I might have a few more Game Nights in the future... We will see.