well today i have come to a shocking realization. that realization sadly is that i am not proud of who i am and how i treat my family. I'm a dick. all it took to realize this was to be berated by my little brother and mom. i feel so low right now. i just want to crawl into a hole, have that hole be sucked into a black hole and just not exist. why does this happen each time i try to stand up for myself? i should just go back to being a doormat. Fuck my life.