Having some major personal issues right now. So I'll still be here just not as active. So I'll probably see and read your stuff, but won't reply until like a day or 2 later.

I'm like super depressed right now. I hope most of you understand, others I know will be asshats about it. Lately I've just been crying, reading, and going to work. That's about it. I'm on a sort of suicide watch so.... Reading and crying are like my thing right now.

Long story short.

My mom was angry about something I had no control over. Blamed me. Accused me of lying/not even listening. Then got angrier over stuff that I didn't even do. So my furchild/dog in a way got kicked out. He's not allowed to live here. At all. So he's over at Brian's house. Which means Brian will be there most of the time taking care of him. I can't be there as much since I have work and it's holiday hours and I'm a pretty damn good cashier apparently. I also can't leave during my days off if one of my co-workers is on for that day since she is a ... not nice words... and constantly calls out. When she calls out, I'm called in. Actually when anyone calls out I'm called in if they're on night shift >.> The other thing is she flipped out saying that we (my boyfriend and I) eat all her food. I don't touch her food. I don't eat her food. I look at her food like it's fucking poison because of how she is with it. I have barely been eating as it is. So I don't know what to do short of not eating at all. The food she's offered me in hopes of making peace has literally had me on edge and nervous and I feel like it's a trap. I'm fucking afraid to eat, so I'm not hungry. It's been a few days and I'm still not hungry. I've eaten when I didn't want to because she put food in my face that she bought and I'm afraid it's a trap either way, that she said was for me. I'm fucking terrified to eat. So it's all super stressful and I'm not handling it well at all. My other mom wrote off my seizure shit as something not a seizure, what her daughter has and isn't taking it as serious as it should be, and refuses to accept my family's rules about me walking places. I'm not allowed to walk places alone. I need an escort unless it's like down the street or I'm meeting someone half way. It's more of a health thing since I have a history of attempted suicides while I'm walking alone and they don't want me taken,whatever. And I'm on a sort of suicide watch.

So I basically lost my child, he's pretty much in a foster home and I'm allowed to visit when I don't have work (if that), I'm afraid to eat, one of my other families isn't taking my heath issue/serious / rediagnosed me / complaining about my family's rules for me, and I'm on a sort of suicide watch.