FA+
Shop
[Personal Topic] No direction No Purpose
11 years ago
I just got to get up and start moving and never stop until progress succeeds. Life is not about finding myself, I have to create myself.
Exclusive Sketches on Tumblr - http://grassgremlinblog.tumblr.com/
Exclusive Sketches on Tumblr - http://grassgremlinblog.tumblr.com/
My brother struck me with something I was confused about until just now.
He's made an interesting distinction.
That goals are different from purpose.
He asked me if I had purpose and what that purpose was.
I couldn't give him a answer in that perimeter.
I noticed that when I work on art and stuff, I could of move aimlessly.
I say I want to do a comic, but I never understand what's the purpose of doing that comic?
Where am I trying to go?
Is the motivation money?
What am I trying to do with this comic?
How do I engage my audience.
I use to have these answers when I was younger, but I never expected myself to be in the position I'm in.
Living under my grandmother's roof practically homeless.
Yes, what you guys do not know is that technically, I am homeless.
I live here without pay and try to help around the house.
I'm either here or at the shelter.
I'm at the bottom. .10% from rock bottom.
I can't focus on my art because the people around me don't think this is important.
I'm doing nothing. They don't want to wait on me to try.
They only see me wasting time, so they do things like push there children on me, even when I've stated that I am not qualified to watch kids.
I would not let me, who's mind has to focus on all these activities, watch children.
And, they say I'm good at it.
No. I'm running on fumes. I'm doing what I have to do and I can't refuse.
I can't leave from this, because I only feel worst for doing it. Trapped in guilt because my sister is having trouble finding anyone to watch kids.
I'm the only one.
I draw old stuff like old characters and I'm lost.
I see other artists doing things like comics and other projects and I get so jealous.
I want to do what they do, but I'm only making myself less focused.
What is my purpose?
He's made an interesting distinction.
That goals are different from purpose.
He asked me if I had purpose and what that purpose was.
I couldn't give him a answer in that perimeter.
I noticed that when I work on art and stuff, I could of move aimlessly.
I say I want to do a comic, but I never understand what's the purpose of doing that comic?
Where am I trying to go?
Is the motivation money?
What am I trying to do with this comic?
How do I engage my audience.
I use to have these answers when I was younger, but I never expected myself to be in the position I'm in.
Living under my grandmother's roof practically homeless.
Yes, what you guys do not know is that technically, I am homeless.
I live here without pay and try to help around the house.
I'm either here or at the shelter.
I'm at the bottom. .10% from rock bottom.
I can't focus on my art because the people around me don't think this is important.
I'm doing nothing. They don't want to wait on me to try.
They only see me wasting time, so they do things like push there children on me, even when I've stated that I am not qualified to watch kids.
I would not let me, who's mind has to focus on all these activities, watch children.
And, they say I'm good at it.
No. I'm running on fumes. I'm doing what I have to do and I can't refuse.
I can't leave from this, because I only feel worst for doing it. Trapped in guilt because my sister is having trouble finding anyone to watch kids.
I'm the only one.
I draw old stuff like old characters and I'm lost.
I see other artists doing things like comics and other projects and I get so jealous.
I want to do what they do, but I'm only making myself less focused.
What is my purpose?
It doesn't matter what people think of it, it's just you and a pen, and you create, you bring life to characters and that's pretty special, its a little sad that people around you can't see the beauty in it.
I don't know what you are motivated by money or who your audience is, what you do is amazing and that counts for a hell of a lot.
As for how you live, it's not bad and you're not in a rut. You just need to count yourself a little lucky and move on trying to find something to do about it~
And Jealousy of other artists is normal, sometimes it can serve as motivation.
Anyway just my two cents, I know I'm just some random person who happened to read this, I just felt like leaving this here.
The subject such as purpose is too big a question for any person to answer as we cant truly predict the out come of our life in the future. So might I suggest possible answer to that question: You want to find happiness. Sounds simple but thats something people seek to have in life is to feel content, feel accomplished, to no longer have anxiety worrying about tomorrow.
So ask yourself. Why do I draw? Whats the motivation? For pleasure? Is it a hobby, for profit? Or something else? There are many reasons why people draw, you just gotta decide what you are truly doing with it. And once you made that decision dont let anyone tell you otherwise.
Also if you feel you are in a situation that you arent content with, then fix it as best as you can with time and dont be afraid to seek outside assistance. I understand because I been homeless a couple of times, im fine now, and currently building my life and finding what I like to do with myself for most of my life, if not one thing it may two things, who knows? The world is your oyster, just make some sacrifices if you need time to spare to help yourself, every hour, minute,and second counts for you.
I hope in someway I made you feel better, peace.
Personally, I've found that by seeking to understand why things are the way they are, the motivation to try to improve the world came up naturally.
If you'd like, I wouldn't mind having a chat.