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Things, so many things
11 years ago
So this journal is mostly because I'm currently torn... also it's an update on my life, kinda.
lets see, so what I'm torn about is my fursona. I worked so hard on creating it but I dunno, Im not sure I really feel it anymore? So many things in my life are changing, but I feel if I go through a bunch of other things and call them my fursona that people will get annoyed?....that sounds silly as I type it. -sighs-
Alright so, the reason I'm having so many issues is, well, I'm having issues. My mind is going in and out, there are weeks on end that I feel like my mind is in sort of a haze and I have to try really hard to focus on anything. I'm dealing with depression and anxiety all the time, pain and disorientation, a multitude of things. I'm just now getting into the doctor's (hopefully I'll soon have a regular care doctor) to get anything even started to be being looked at.
Also loads of things are changing. I have two kittens, we're buying a big new house and moving...and generally I feel more childlike in my mind, more often then I did before.
theres moments that I just feel like a little girl again, and its great, but its also kindof scary, like Im literally mentally fighting to be grown up sometimes, its so much easier to lapse into the fluffy head haze of childlike behavior.
So, fursona wise I'm struggling to find myself as well. I started out as being a critter, went to a red panda cuz they're freakin adorable, then went to critter again (critter being an unspecified creature of my own mixed creation) But then for halloween I was a mouse... and Im thinking, I'm pretty mouse like aren't I? Not like, a wild mouse full of spunk and energy, more like a lazy little domestic mouse... Im shy, timid, anxious, but also nice and outgoing to people i know.... and even sometimes strangers.... I dunno -_- really I feel more like a spinda lately with how often I fall over -_-
lets see, so what I'm torn about is my fursona. I worked so hard on creating it but I dunno, Im not sure I really feel it anymore? So many things in my life are changing, but I feel if I go through a bunch of other things and call them my fursona that people will get annoyed?....that sounds silly as I type it. -sighs-
Alright so, the reason I'm having so many issues is, well, I'm having issues. My mind is going in and out, there are weeks on end that I feel like my mind is in sort of a haze and I have to try really hard to focus on anything. I'm dealing with depression and anxiety all the time, pain and disorientation, a multitude of things. I'm just now getting into the doctor's (hopefully I'll soon have a regular care doctor) to get anything even started to be being looked at.
Also loads of things are changing. I have two kittens, we're buying a big new house and moving...and generally I feel more childlike in my mind, more often then I did before.
theres moments that I just feel like a little girl again, and its great, but its also kindof scary, like Im literally mentally fighting to be grown up sometimes, its so much easier to lapse into the fluffy head haze of childlike behavior.
So, fursona wise I'm struggling to find myself as well. I started out as being a critter, went to a red panda cuz they're freakin adorable, then went to critter again (critter being an unspecified creature of my own mixed creation) But then for halloween I was a mouse... and Im thinking, I'm pretty mouse like aren't I? Not like, a wild mouse full of spunk and energy, more like a lazy little domestic mouse... Im shy, timid, anxious, but also nice and outgoing to people i know.... and even sometimes strangers.... I dunno -_- really I feel more like a spinda lately with how often I fall over -_-
