*sigh* Here we go.

I'm not even sure where to begin. I think the first thing will be to give a short recap of the events as I perceived them.


Saturday night, I first became aware something was wrong when I was in the Kage & 2 Gryphon charity show, and Kage looked out past the audience and out the windows and asked "Why are there like 4 ambulances outside?". I kinda chuckled, figuring that someone had gotten too drunk or whatever, the usual things that happen at any given con.

The charity show wrapped up and I headed out into the lobby. I saw that there were 4 ambulances, 3 firetrucks, and several more police cars, all with lights flashing out in front of the hotel. Something felt off. I stopped and watched out the windows for a bit, trying to ascertain what was going on, but then shrugged it off and headed up to my room with  cyndalmaul.

We got up to the room, and were planning on relaxing and having some fun before heading back down to maybe hit the bar again or whatever, maybe fursuit, wasn't sure.

While laying on the bed suddenly the alarms started ringing. A noise I'll never forget. It was a siren, followed by a voice "There has been an emergency reported in the building. Please exit the building as quickly as possible. Do not use elevators."

I thought, GOD DAMNIT, some asshole pulled the fire alarm again. I grabbed my coat, put on my shoes, snagged my cell phone, and pulled  cyndalmaul into the hallway with me, which was eerily quiet.

We were in the executive wing, on one of the upper floors. There was NOBODY in the halls. We headed immediately to the stairwell and started making our way down. We didn't see ANYONE in the stairwell, which was even weirder. I figured everyone was out having fun or something, and by some weird luck we were the only ones in the executive wing that night.

Upon reaching the bottom and stepping outside, we were met with a member of MWFF con security, who directed us over to a group of people already milling around outside the parking garage.

The poor security lady was wearing a skirt and a light shirt, so I offered her my sweatshirt and we exchanged room #s so I could grab it later.

Pretty quickly we got word that we had to move away from the building and across the street to the convention center parking garage. I then saw just how many emergency vehicles were there, and it was an insane amount. I still thought it was a false alarm, and tweeted to that effect.

That was when I started hearing murmurs in the crowd and on twitter about some sort of gas related incident. Something about chlorine, or possibly refrigerant. Some people were sick. Ok, so this is real, shit.

Eventually, we got herded into the convention center itself, where I noticed with some amusement there was a dog show going on, the dogs were barking in their cages as their rest was interrupted by thousands of people being forced into the same space. We kept getting pushed further and further from the doors. Eventually I found a comfortable spot near the back of the building up against a pillar and we sat down and got comfortable.

Throughout, I was reading twitter and getting tidbits of information. A friend of mine was in the Hilton and with a group of furs listening on on HAM radio to the emergency frequencies and was doing an amazing job of keeping me updated on a play by play.

My phone was at 30%... then 25%... then 20%... still dropping.

I decided, it's probably a good idea to check in with everybody that I hadn't seen tweet or otherwise communicate. Sent texts out and made sure everyone I knew was ok, they were. Texted my mom and dad, let them know if they see something on the news about a hotel evac in Rosemont that I was involved, but that I was safe and not to worry.

I regretted not grabbing my phone charger. Something I'm taking away from this, in the event of another emergency, in addition to warm clothes, wallet for ID and money, car and house keys, and other essentials, I'm including my cell phone charger as something I MUST grab, and will from now on always have one with me. Being without a cell phone in an emergency is not something that I can tolerate.


I eventually laid down in what had become the ad hoc refugee center and just tried to relax. Poor  cyndalmaul was still sick, she had been suffering from a cold all weekend and the excitement had irritated it, she was coughing and not feeling well, I asked her if she wanted to get checked out by the EMTs just in case, but we agreed that it was probably unrelated, as we had not smelled any gas nor were we anywhere near the floors that the incident had been reported on. (plus, she was already sick before this)

Eventually, we were shuffled back into the hotel. On the way in I made a point to stop and thank as many police, firefighters, EMTs, and con staff as I could. I knew this night was even harder on them than it was on me.





Now... the REALLY hard part started. The word was getting out that this was an intentional act. Chlorine powder tossed into a stairwell and activated somehow to create noxious, DEADLY gas. Basically, a terrorist attack. I have never had my life threatened before, not directly. Not like this.

I started having to process this. I wasn't directly affected, in that I wasn't in the area the attack took place, but if the target was the convention attendees, I was still a target.

Sleep didn't come easily. I woke up several times thinking I heard a girl screaming out in the hallway, but it was just my mind playing tricks on me.


My thoughts on it all? I'm still not sure. I need to process the fact that, in all likelihood, there was a malicious attack, meant to injure or possibly kill people. And there's a decent chance that I was included in the general "target" (ie, convention attendees).

There's a chance that this was intended as a prank, but it seems far too specific. If someone wanted to prank, they would just pull a fire alarm, not specifically bring the ingredients to creating a deadly gas.

So now, I gotta process after the fact that I just had someone try to kill me.

That's.... harder than I thought it would be.

The event hasn't left my thoughts, and I hate to admit it, but I am scared by it.

I know they say to not be scared, that's what people who do these sort of things want. They want to get under your skin. But, it's hard not to be.

I won't let it affect my actions. I have no intention of ceasing to attend furry conventions, or anything like that, but I am very concerned all the same.

I'm really glad nobody was killed, and those that were hospitalized have been reported to be recovering.



All in all, I'm not sure what to think. I'm very sad that this occurred. I'm very proud that furries handled it as well as they did. I'm incredibly grateful for the organization and responsiveness of the Rosemont and Chicago area emergency responders, as well as every single member of the convention and hotel staff and security. I'm super grateful that I have friends that care about me, and that in an event like this I have people that I can count on.

I hope they catch whoever did this, I want to know the reasoning behind it and motivations. I don't really care about justice, I just want to know the "why".

Everyone at work and in my family now knows I'm a furry, and that's ok, I didn't really hide it. Everybody has supported me and asked if I was ok.

I guess life goes on. I really hope this is the only time something like this ever happens though. I DO NOT want this to become a trend.