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Unintentional Hiatus
11 years ago
As I'm sure most of you have noticed, I've more or less disappeared from the map. There have been a lot of things that have come up in my personal life, both immediately recent and briefly distant, that have kept me away from not only my online galleries, but from photoshop and in some cases even the computer altogether. I've... Been handling a lot of things, some of which I can't expect any of you to understand, some of which I'm not even sure I fully understand myself.
I haven't drawn for personal pleasure in months, let alone worked on commissions. And there's a lot of shame and guilt for me in that fact, because I know damn well a lot of you have been patiently waiting for so long for work from me, and I've just become unreachable. And I hate that it's come to this because you guys have been so good to me, not only as customers but also simply as people, but... Honestly? I've lost my muse. I haven't picked up a pen or a pencil to draw or sketch in about three months. My drive is gone. I've lost my way. And every time I go to get work done I'm utterly useless. The mojo doesn't flow. And I have no idea when it will again. But I've thought long and hard about this and if I'm honest with myself, I think the most fair thing to do at this point is to issue refunds. Unfortunately, however, I won't be able to take care of everyone financially until tax season, but I will make sure that I reimburse everyone what they paid for and have not yet received... And it's hard to say this but I don't think I'll be offering commissions anymore once everyone's squared away, or at least not for a very long time. I think that will be the best decision for me to make in this time of my life. I may even close down my galleries too and embrace a new identity, or not return online at all. I haven't decided yet.
But anyway, over the next month I plan on posting a list of everyone who will be reimbursed. It will keep me organized, but will also reassure those I'm indebted to that I have not, in fact, forgotten you.
I really am sorry... I understand anyone's anger and frustration with me and only hope that in time I can be forgiven. Again, thanks to everyone who has been so patient and supportive. I appreciate each and every one of you.
~ Xena
I haven't drawn for personal pleasure in months, let alone worked on commissions. And there's a lot of shame and guilt for me in that fact, because I know damn well a lot of you have been patiently waiting for so long for work from me, and I've just become unreachable. And I hate that it's come to this because you guys have been so good to me, not only as customers but also simply as people, but... Honestly? I've lost my muse. I haven't picked up a pen or a pencil to draw or sketch in about three months. My drive is gone. I've lost my way. And every time I go to get work done I'm utterly useless. The mojo doesn't flow. And I have no idea when it will again. But I've thought long and hard about this and if I'm honest with myself, I think the most fair thing to do at this point is to issue refunds. Unfortunately, however, I won't be able to take care of everyone financially until tax season, but I will make sure that I reimburse everyone what they paid for and have not yet received... And it's hard to say this but I don't think I'll be offering commissions anymore once everyone's squared away, or at least not for a very long time. I think that will be the best decision for me to make in this time of my life. I may even close down my galleries too and embrace a new identity, or not return online at all. I haven't decided yet.
But anyway, over the next month I plan on posting a list of everyone who will be reimbursed. It will keep me organized, but will also reassure those I'm indebted to that I have not, in fact, forgotten you.
I really am sorry... I understand anyone's anger and frustration with me and only hope that in time I can be forgiven. Again, thanks to everyone who has been so patient and supportive. I appreciate each and every one of you.
~ Xena
But really, just glad to hear from you overall. Even if its not under the best of circumstances.
Whatever your decision is, I support you. Just know that leave or stay, I'll be welcoming you anytime with open arms and greatly appreciate what you have shared with us.
Honestly though, despite such, you are still someone I consider quite professional and the fact you came back to set things straight here proves it. after all, you could have simply disappeared without a trace forever. Many have. The fact you didn't though speaks volumes.
I also hope things pick up in your favor for once Xena.
If this is the last time we speak, I do wish you well in the future and that you take care of yourself.
But do what you gotta do, I appreciate the honesty and I respect it 100%. I the road paved for you hereon out is decorated with happiness and your Holiday season is as best as it can be!
I still have your Skype if you want someone to chat with still c: I've been rather curious to where you've been, and worried!
Talonblaze is right though; you could have easily just disappeared and never come back. It's quite easy on the 'Net, especially if you know what you're doing. But you didn't, which means you are still better than some. I'm certain most of your commissioners will understand, if be a bit sad.
Good luck on all of your endeavors, especially in trying to get your art straightened away. I hope we'll see more of you again eventually, but I understand if you don't choose to come back.
I've missed talking with you on Skype.
Don't worry about refunding me what I've already sent you, I'm just glad it helped you out when it did.
It's my fault for taking so long to get back with you on the correction info anyways. v..v
*sigh* If anything, I just miss talking with you.
I understand where you're coming from, I myself haven't pushed out much of anything the past few months, and about completely into a different face entirely online.
I've changed a lot and more's to come. but I would still like to see where you're headed to be next, whatever that may be.
and I'm always around for you to talk to as well, if necessary. I know we may not be in the best of terms, but everything I did before my medicine, was not the real me.
I hope you can understand that.
This FA account has more or less become just a placeholder; the new face I tried to create here in pursuit of certain spiritual interests hasn't worked out at all. I'm still active elsewhere online, just not here anymore. So I do partly feel where you're coming from in regards to not being around and really reachable. If you decide to stay online but with a new identity, I hope you let close friends know who your new self is. If not, again, I understand.
I'm reminded of a scene where Xena and Gabrielle were standing at the edge of a pond. Xena was describing how her life had been calm and tranquil, like this pond. And then everything went wrong. She threw a rock into the pond for emphasis. The quiet surface was suddenly a disrupted by a large splash, then a turmoil of waves and ripples. Gabrielle pointed out that in time, the pond will be tranquil again, even if the cause of all that turmoil is now a part of it.
This is what I hope for both you and Gabrielle. May the ocean that is life grow calm and serene for you. If the waves and turmoil before then sweeps you away from all of us online, I can take that. Long as I know that you're okay.
Best of luck to you, Xena.