Really sick of being sick or in pain.
11 years ago
General
I’ve talked about my health problems a bit here, but I’ve never really gone into detail, and I probably won’t get really into detail ever. But I’ve got a lot of problems.
My body is extremely fragile, and for the past week it’s been worse than ever. I’m in pain every single day one way or another. If it’s not my back it’s my neck, if it’s not that it’s my knees, and so on. It’s like the car that just keeps getting repaired and other things break, except the new parts are just as failure prone…
This past week has left me very tired, and barely able to function. Making dinner I opened the fridge four times without doing anything else, I couldn’t think. Right now it feels like the room is shifting around me, but I know it’s my head.
All the doctors can do right now is go through the list of things it’s not, doing tests and taking one thing off the list at a time, because they don’t have a clue why I have these problems.
I’m tired of being in pain, feeling sick, and having to fight with it for everything I do every day. It wasn’t effecting my art before, but now I’m being left so tired I don’t even feel like I can draw. And sleep doesn’t help, I wake up just as tired as when I went to bed, because even in my sleep things hurt.
My body is extremely fragile, and for the past week it’s been worse than ever. I’m in pain every single day one way or another. If it’s not my back it’s my neck, if it’s not that it’s my knees, and so on. It’s like the car that just keeps getting repaired and other things break, except the new parts are just as failure prone…
This past week has left me very tired, and barely able to function. Making dinner I opened the fridge four times without doing anything else, I couldn’t think. Right now it feels like the room is shifting around me, but I know it’s my head.
All the doctors can do right now is go through the list of things it’s not, doing tests and taking one thing off the list at a time, because they don’t have a clue why I have these problems.
I’m tired of being in pain, feeling sick, and having to fight with it for everything I do every day. It wasn’t effecting my art before, but now I’m being left so tired I don’t even feel like I can draw. And sleep doesn’t help, I wake up just as tired as when I went to bed, because even in my sleep things hurt.
FA+

The only constant is my stomach problems, and they've been worse this past week too. I can go from fine to insane cramps and then back again in the space of 20 minutes.
The only scare this servant of Cazic-Thule has for you is that toward a practitioner's office, one who can diagnose and treat digestive disorders. (Endocrinologists, general practitioners, gastroenterologists are a few that come to mind.)
You're the only you you've got, so take as good a care as you can manage. I understand the health system in Canada to involve significant waits when there are serious problems, delays that I believe I heard led to some peoples' deaths. (Too long to get in to see the oncologist, e.g.) So this just means today (or the next business day/hours) is when to take action toward a diagnosis, or another diagnosis if your current treatment isn't working.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts and feelings. I certainly sympathize and care. And I hope you can manage to keep away from that black hole of bad feelings that just pulls you in an ever-increasing spiral to new lows, much like your spirit/soul is going down a drain. At least this is what dwelling on my issues can do to me. I give speeches for NAMI, the National Alliance for Mental Illness, an American institution but probably has chapters in Canada too.
What works best for me is distraction. Be it reading, watching favorite movies/TV episodes, working a puzzle, playing an online game, browsing FA... there's a lot of activities I use to shield me from the high gravity waves from the black hole I have inside me.
I don't know what if anything might make a list like this for you; you know yourself considerably better than I do.
Having a pet can also provide some warmth, unconditional love, affection, and snuggling. There are 2 cats in my home.
Just remember your focus, remember you are not your drawings (though FA is poor at separating these two things). Similarly, you are not your body's weaknesses, pains, problems, and complaints. Who YOU are is the motivating force behind it all. Something science cannot analyze, categorize, or specify too well, and that is a mind. Or soul or spirit, whichever is your preference... or some mix of the 3.
Another thing that is healthy for me and distracting as well is learning. I've tended to watch more and more documentaries, history shows, even episodes of NOVA and THROUGH THE WORMHOLE lately.
I hope this can help you out, while those medics still are looking for an answer about what the fucking hell is going on with you. How's your memory, by the way?