Letters to the moon.
11 years ago
The week you died I didn't know silence could be so loud. I literally couldn't hear anything more than the echo of a broken heart. All I did was lay in the grass and stare at a dark sky. No tears. No smiling. Just an imitation of the person i was. Sprawled out. Looking for you in the stars.
I once was told that perhaps they were not stars but rather openings to heaven for our loved ones to shine down on us. but there was so much I wanted you to know. So much I wanted to say. So much I needed you to hear.
So I wrote love letters to the moon in hopes he would write back. I wrote how he doesn't realize that it’s you that gives him that exceptional glow. I promise you the moon never looked more perfect than after you left us. Especially on those nights that I’m away from the city just staring at the grey above me. Thinking about that time you told me you were at peace. The time you said you were proud of me.
I wrote that when I miss you most is when I’m being silly and playfully embarrassing whomever decided to hang out with me that day. Or when I look in the mirror and smile because its you that I see. It’ll always be you.
I wrote that you taught me to be this. Free. Rowdy. Real. This woman with unruly hair and a pigeon toed stance that will refresh your soul with a simple conversation. You gave me this aura and radiance. Determination and wit. I’m clever and sarcastic and me, because of you.
I wrote that you were always an energy that was unmatched by anyone I’ve ever encountered. So its no surprise the moon wanted you next to him. And I wrote that I was your sunshine. Your only sunshine. “I made you happy when skies were grey…” you often said.
I struggled for a while. All these letters and words and tears to the moon and not a word back. Time passed. And nothing. Time passed and still nothing. Time passed and I began to heal. My heart began to beat to a tune you could dance to. And this smile became genuine.
Then one day I woke up to stardust on my pillow and warmth in my heart. The note was written in love and all it said was: “you’ll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don’t take my sunshine away…”
I once was told that perhaps they were not stars but rather openings to heaven for our loved ones to shine down on us. but there was so much I wanted you to know. So much I wanted to say. So much I needed you to hear.
So I wrote love letters to the moon in hopes he would write back. I wrote how he doesn't realize that it’s you that gives him that exceptional glow. I promise you the moon never looked more perfect than after you left us. Especially on those nights that I’m away from the city just staring at the grey above me. Thinking about that time you told me you were at peace. The time you said you were proud of me.
I wrote that when I miss you most is when I’m being silly and playfully embarrassing whomever decided to hang out with me that day. Or when I look in the mirror and smile because its you that I see. It’ll always be you.
I wrote that you taught me to be this. Free. Rowdy. Real. This woman with unruly hair and a pigeon toed stance that will refresh your soul with a simple conversation. You gave me this aura and radiance. Determination and wit. I’m clever and sarcastic and me, because of you.
I wrote that you were always an energy that was unmatched by anyone I’ve ever encountered. So its no surprise the moon wanted you next to him. And I wrote that I was your sunshine. Your only sunshine. “I made you happy when skies were grey…” you often said.
I struggled for a while. All these letters and words and tears to the moon and not a word back. Time passed. And nothing. Time passed and still nothing. Time passed and I began to heal. My heart began to beat to a tune you could dance to. And this smile became genuine.
Then one day I woke up to stardust on my pillow and warmth in my heart. The note was written in love and all it said was: “you’ll never know dear, how much I love you. Please don’t take my sunshine away…”
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