Hey, look. I made it. I made it through another year. Look how far I've have come. Oh, I am so proud of me. I think that is the first time I have ever said that. I made it through every heartbreak, every bad day and every bad thought. I took care of myself when I hit rock bottom and tried to mend my own wounds. I may not feel like it but I have healed so much. I have grown and recovered so much. Look at me now. I am still breathing, my heart is still beating and I am still fighting. I am still here, trying to find life’s deeper meaning, trying to find my purpose. I promise that I will be okay. I will find my purpose, I will find more reasons to stay alive and I will find more love. 2020 is going to be good to me, I need to be good to myself as well. I need to learn to not be too hard on myself, I need to take it slow and be gentle with my heart. Just because it is a new year, does not mean my wounds have healed. I must go slowly. But I need to remember that healing, recovery and love await me. Maybe not on 2020. But sometime.

Hating myself did no good to me and so now I'm going to try loving myself and see if it works.