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Needing abuse survivors and encouragement
11 years ago
Here's what the Skrulf has to say!
My sister went back to him. The last time we picked her up... Maybe a month ago, she called us crying to come pick her up and bring her home from that awful place. He was drunk and yelling and hitting an shoving her d he grabbed her by her hair, she says. We got there as soon as we could, and brought her, my 30+ yr old sis, back home with us bawling the whole way. All she was able to bring was her purse, minus her phone, and her dog, Annie.
I got the call from my mom this afternoon saying my sis took the car and my mom's cell to go 'meet an old friend for lunch'.
My mom got worried after hours and hours when she still had not returned and wasn't answering calls. My dad drove out to her old house where the abusive husband lives, on a hunch, and found my mom's SUV. My mom waited while my dad monitored the house. Eventually they called the police who went to the door and told her we were requesting she return home with my dad.
She said no and handed over the keys. Said she would be by tomorrow for 'her stuff'.
It's been a rough day emotionally, thankfully I have my best friend to cheer me up.
Then I got home tonight and saw Annie, the dog, sitting on the bed where my sister normally sleeps, in the very spot, just staring at the window. She is normally so excited and happy to see me. Tonight she glanced at me... And back to the window. Never moved.
I'm crying so hard right now. This is the 2nd time she has gone back to him after getting out of there to live with us.
Please someone encourage me. Tell me there is hope for her. Tell me there is reason to believe, that she may one day be strong enough to walk away for good.
Someone... I don't know what to do anymore! I finally graduated with my psychology bachelor's degree. I'm supposed to be able to help somehow. There has to be something I can say, something I can do! I know I'm not a licensed psychologist, but Ive got 5 yrs of psychology knowledge and I'm still completely useless! I can't find words! I can't make my mom stop crying, my dad stop yelling, the dog stop waiting, my heart stop breaking. I CANT I CANT I CANT!
I'M SO FUCKING USELESS!
Someone please tell me she can do it, because right now I'm not strong enough to. Someone give me music. Give me hope. Give me help. Give me strength. I'm so scared for her. And there's not a damn thing I can do about it.
Oh and tomorrow her son Hayden, now 12,is coming to stay at our house for the weekend. It's my sister's week to have custody.
I get to look him in the eyes and tell him she chose the man he hates most over her own son.
My heart just shattered.
I got the call from my mom this afternoon saying my sis took the car and my mom's cell to go 'meet an old friend for lunch'.
My mom got worried after hours and hours when she still had not returned and wasn't answering calls. My dad drove out to her old house where the abusive husband lives, on a hunch, and found my mom's SUV. My mom waited while my dad monitored the house. Eventually they called the police who went to the door and told her we were requesting she return home with my dad.
She said no and handed over the keys. Said she would be by tomorrow for 'her stuff'.
It's been a rough day emotionally, thankfully I have my best friend to cheer me up.
Then I got home tonight and saw Annie, the dog, sitting on the bed where my sister normally sleeps, in the very spot, just staring at the window. She is normally so excited and happy to see me. Tonight she glanced at me... And back to the window. Never moved.
I'm crying so hard right now. This is the 2nd time she has gone back to him after getting out of there to live with us.
Please someone encourage me. Tell me there is hope for her. Tell me there is reason to believe, that she may one day be strong enough to walk away for good.
Someone... I don't know what to do anymore! I finally graduated with my psychology bachelor's degree. I'm supposed to be able to help somehow. There has to be something I can say, something I can do! I know I'm not a licensed psychologist, but Ive got 5 yrs of psychology knowledge and I'm still completely useless! I can't find words! I can't make my mom stop crying, my dad stop yelling, the dog stop waiting, my heart stop breaking. I CANT I CANT I CANT!
I'M SO FUCKING USELESS!
Someone please tell me she can do it, because right now I'm not strong enough to. Someone give me music. Give me hope. Give me help. Give me strength. I'm so scared for her. And there's not a damn thing I can do about it.
Oh and tomorrow her son Hayden, now 12,is coming to stay at our house for the weekend. It's my sister's week to have custody.
I get to look him in the eyes and tell him she chose the man he hates most over her own son.
My heart just shattered.
I am sorry y'all are going through that.
Thanks for the insight.
No one can help untill the individual makes the choice to take the help. (don't force it. )
Just provide support and options for the people involved.
I'm proud of you. Its clearly not easy.
Thank you for your insight.
You're not helpless. I know you've been through a lot yourself and that you are very strong. You can be strong for her and be there for her! The very last thing she needs is her family turning from her and leaving her there. Let her know you are there for her no matter what.
*hugs* Its gonna be ok buddy. These things take a little time to figure out, but I am confident she will.
Thank you so much.
I don't think an intervention would help unless it had 16 wheels :/
As with my father, the physical abuse ended during my adolescence, something that originally made me side with my father a lot cause of the thought my mother was the hateful one, but my father never abandoned various forms of hate, so much anger, so much yelling, orders, demands, punishments...
Um... maybe I should go away from that... well, I live with my mother, and don't see my father anymore mainly because of him living in another part of the country... I still care about them both, and continue to forgive my mom and dad for past abuse, especially cause it stopped...
If anything, people have tried intervening, but things like that don't always make things better, and on rare occasions it makes things worse. If anything, time, as well as each of us making our own choices to solve things, made things better.
If there is any hope of you intervening, it is only going to be because all sides involved in an abuse case want it. If you force your help on others, you will only hurt them. Best to leave people alone and solve things themselves than cause some giant scene.
I hope this helps. And remember, bad times, are just times that are bad.