*hard blush expressing my modesty over my current gender bent emotions...and for writing this sentence*
Why am weird? *>__>*

Hey everyone!
Just thought I update the journal again with my own musings and current status developments for those still watching this off-and-on dead/alive account I keep around for nostalgic reasons...or somethin'? *giggles*

DRAWING:
...bumpkus. I do have a few detailed sketches done a few weeks ago, but without a scanner to scan these too they will just sit in the backlog pile of undesirables for a while. *sigh*

WRITING:
Good News, everyone! I'm actually being productive with getting back on the horse (or wolf?) with my stories again...kind of, sort of, maybe, Chocolate Cream Pie!? o__o

Some of you may be aware that I have been attempt to remaster one of my story projects from the past called "Wolfhood: Book One", which the remastered version is being dubbed "Wolfhood: Reborn". Some know I already completed the original version years ago which is still readable on my old account at  WereTabby4918 (and if you didn't know, you are welcome to check out that multiple chapter pet project if you like). The remastered version's plot will remain heavily the same, but certain characters personalities or behaviors may be altered because...well; I like messing up established characters :P The biggest change so far is to the human redhead Aiden goes on a blind date with at the beginning of the story named Vivian. I think the original incarnation had her coming back for more mainly because 'reasons', at least curiosity in the experience of being 'mated' by a honest-to-goodness Werewolf. This new version though reveals a bit more of a concrete reason to why she doesn't mind becoming the Werewolf's concubine.

Other notable changes will be how Aiden and the Wolf-girl Luna meet up for the first time. The original idea was; again, "reasons" or "plot-convenience" which looking back at it now...I'm surprised I didn't slap myself across the face for pulling that schtick. So the remastered version will hopefully provide a better developed setup for how these two lusty wolves are fated to be mates other than...um..."senses and feelings?" (Did I really write that? ). Other scenes will get some tweaks too, but like I said the main plot will relatively be the same.

At this time; Chapter 5 (which most of that plot is part of the original Chapter 3) is being written and I'm praying I'll finish it before the end of the week if not sooner. I want to get to the Aiden and Luna parts already dammit; those will be fun >___< I think my main struggles when it comes to writing are my lack of concentration and trouble with finding the right ways to describe things and moments with appropriate words found in respectful published-ly approved literature (says the cat who writes fetish porn over half the time, hehe ^__^; ). There's another problem that I know of, but...that's one I have to personally overcome with control >___________>; I just have to find a way to apply the "Don't Break the Chain" method to my projects, along other things in my life.

I'll also be trying to complete another side-project I started a while ago, "The Brood Dragoness and her Mate", sometime in the future and maybe do something with my second TFTG short story Unusual Results too. But those have yet to be considered a priority at this time.

GAMING AND GAMESTREAMS/YOUTUBE POSTINGS
Hehe; this one really goes to any fans that really pays attention to my gamestreaming. Inspired by  Barrin84 and other Let's Play-ers; I tried to host my own gamestream shows when I could finding I had fun when I could play my games and attempt to entertain an audience with my quirky personality. My gamestreaming days has since stepped out of the limelight due to time-management issues, interest, and a crappy desktop that is too old to be upgraded and keep up with advancing technologies required to play most of the games I want to stream. I want to continue playing Alien: Isolation or start playing The Evil Within or Alan Wake, even Dark Souls for crying out loud. But I can't do that if my comp keeps crashing at the worst possible moments or when my wireless network card can't hold on to a strong signal for online gameplay. FUCK!!! ...*sobs* I hate my computer :(

I've also been trying to keep up with editing my past gamestreams and posting them on my Youtube channel so anyone who was interested and catching my latest streams or any random YouTube watcher that happened to come across one of my videos were welcome to view and hopefully enjoy my little silly adventures. Alas; I suck at managing my time with those too. There are a few series I started and have yet to complete. I'm putting in some effort with the Alien: Isolation series though; maybe by time I finish posting everything I did up to the point I took a break I'll have a new computer to continue playing the rest of the game again...W00t!!!...yeah?

Anywho; I announce these things when I can in advance, so anyone that's interested in watching my gamestreams in the future just keep an eye to the journals or submissions.

GENDER CURIOSITY
*sigh* I can't believe I'm making a segment for this. I'll keep it short and simple.
I...have been toying around with the TG aspects of transformations lately through my sketches and some writings...and I think I'm starting to like it too much. I've never been a huge fan of the TG aspect personally; I've been fully comfortable in my gender as a man. Still...it's been rather difficult to deny this tiny side of me that's grown fond of this hidden femininity surfacing every now and again. The thing is, it normally only shows itself for maybe a few days and then it quickly disappears and everything is back to normal; man this and man that.

But lately...I feel like I'm teetering. I don't believe I'm having a crisis of gender identity or anything, but...it doesn't feel wrong to embrace this other side. *groans* I don't know what I'm saying anymore. I have enough confusion and worry over my wolf side occasionally getting anxious and wild.

Just, um...if I start to behave too girly around anyone I give you permission to speak up and tell me to stop. ...or you're welcome to coax that side of me as far as you wish *giggles coyly* ;) I guess it helps that I already have a few online friends that doesn't mind when I act that way, and to them I thank you for putting up with this bizarre feline.

THE FRIENDS CONNECTION
This is something I need to really improve on. I really don't know why I'm having trouble staying in-touch with my friends here. I love everybody that like and supports me and my works, but there are just some points I can't seem to find the time or bravery to respond back to comments and notes or turn the damn Skype on to say hello and chat. I need to fix this; I need to take bigger steps.

*sees the Skype icon on my Taskbar, stares at it for a minute, then checks to see what's on TV or pull up the latest YouTube video*

...tiny steps. Just take some tiny steps ^___________^;

HUMAN LIFE
And this will be my shortest summary on this topic...

...blah...

Thus ends my summary!!! Ok; a bit more of a summary is that life is ok but not great. Finally did my Taxes and will be getting a nice Return this year despite fearing all the legal and premium assistance stuff from the ACA or "Obamacare" stuff would cause me to not only NOT get a refund but PAY more than I would normally get from my refund. And yet all that is going into my credit cards I need to pay off...or maybe on a new desktop that doesn't suck. Priorities.

Work is ok, but I truly need to start thinking about a new job. My problem; still, is that I'm still not motivated to wanting to look for one due to my increasing resentment in our world's workforce and towards stupid, stupid, stu-pid impatient and clueless customers I have to help on a daily bases that make me want to rip my luxurious hair out and drive away...far far away.

Here's a quick question to my watchers; if I started up a donation account, would anyone care? I never want to just beg for help or sell incomplete works like a jackass, but it has been an option I have been considering. Unless something I created in collaboration with certain writers or artist, I don't mind my works normally being free for the viewing public. Either that; or does anyone have any suggestions to places I could try to publish some of my stories to? .......you don't need to answer that one, I don't think I'm really explaining myself correctly anyways.

Last; I think I can contribute part of my lost time to my projects thanks to certain in-town friends from my childhood having more time to hang than we use to lately. One in particular has been inviting me over so we can catch up on the latest Anime series we started watching a long time ago or have been coming out this past year. He got me hooked on Naruto and Attack on Titan among other notable animes, and most recently we have been plowing thru all the episodes of One Piece we've missed out since this one subbing site my friend got his episodes from stopped producing them a few years back (leaving me to wonder how my favorite character was going to get out the situation on Ennis Lobby for 2-3 years). Since then, we must have conquered over 200 episodes in over half a year (and this show has up to 700 under its belt and still going). So, yeah...you can also blame the fantastic adventures of the Straw Hat Pirates for my absence on the web.

GIFT ARTS, COMS GALLERY, FACEBOOK, & TWITTER
Well, this journal ran extremely long. For those still reading I thank you for your visit and curiosity and what this strange timid pussy cat had to say. I also have to thank my friends and talented artists for all the wonderful art I was bestowed upon over the years, whether I had paid for it specifically OR if done out of the kindness of their hearts. I can hug all of you if I could...but I don't have stretchy powers like Mr. Fantastic or Luffy *giggles* :)

If you missed my announcements from the not-so-distant past; I recently created a separate account late last year called  TimidTabby-COM-Gallery where I have been steadily posting all of my wonderful bought commissions and lovely gift arts over the years in one convenient spot (and in hopes to reduce the amount of Non-created works by me off this gallery). You will find a lot of great art that was done by great artists like  DarkSilver ,  Mosa ,  Barrin84 ,  LoboLeo , and more who molded my fantastic ideas into lovely lovely pieces that I wish I could mount on my bedroom walls for viewing pleasure (but then I would have to explain to my non-furry friends and family why I have multiple posters of sexy images of my beautiful furry women...and female me...adorning my room, a conversation I'm not prepared for at the least ^__^; ). Please watch and fave anything you like, and if certain submissions have a link to the original artist's posting please follow that if you can fave and comment there too to give the original creator some wonderful feedback and support.

I also wanted to point out that I have created a Facebook since late last year, and I have had a Twitter account for the last few years. There was an issue trying to link my Facebook page on this site, so for those that are interested in checking it out You will either find me under the name TimidTabby or Alan Raines. I haven't really gotten anywhere in glossing up the place; I'm currently using it to keep in touch with certain friends I know are on Facebook and for backup postings of any events or updates in my life in case anything goes wrong with FA or others. You can watch me there if you like, and if you have tried but haven't received a reply back perhaps note me as well as sometimes Facebook doesn't really give me enough information on who's trying to contact me sometimes.

And as I said; I do have a Twitter account. I'll mostly be posting random updates or musings just to be goofy, but I'll also try to use that as another method of keeping anyone watching up to date with how my projects are going or if I do decide to gamestream again. IDK, just throwing this out there to the internet wolves I guess :\

Anyways; I'll end my newz report here. Thanks to all keeping up with me and for the ungodly patience you have with me on being so slow to post anything new. I hope to turn my productivity around this year. Hope for the best and I'll chat with you all later.

Peace and Meow! >^__^<