I had another bad day, today. nothing bad happened to me, it's just...

I talked to her this morning, and she told me about a dream. in it, She was with friends going to a restaurant. She got a call, and went off to answer it. It was me. Somewhere in the conversation, I said "I have to go." Suddenly, I was right in front of her. I then proposed to her. She said I proposed exactly as she wanted me to.

It just... that hit me so hard, to hear her say that...

We're so far apart, and I can't be with her for years. Hearing that makes me want to go to her, but I...I c-can't. I've never felt so horrible as to know that she suffers, too, with me not being there. Knowing that I can't be with her, or give her what she wants, or hug her... or hold her hand in mine.

I just can't... be happy anymore.