It's fucking hard! I've never been good at being social, and I think I try too hard when I am in social situations (primarily stream chats) because I don't want to just be silent and go unnoticed. I think it's a part of me that still needs to be the center of attention, something from when I was a child that I never grew out of, despite also growing into social anxiety that leads me to avoid human contact like the plague.
I am trying, though, to be at least slightly social. I don't want to be left alone or anything, but I'm bad at initiating conversations, I always worry that I'm interrupting something or that I just come off as annoying, and I don't ever know what to say, especially to someone I admire.
So, uh, yeah... Sorry if I'm kind of annoying and awkward? This isn't easy for me.