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Am I ANYTHING to you guys? (Feeling better!)
10 years ago
Okay. Maybe a phase I'm going though, but really. Does anyone care? If I didn't have PvA, would you guys give a flying yiff about me? Like, did you click onto this just because it said "PvA" in the title?
What would things be like if I never made PvA a thing? Would I have as many watchers? no, the friends I got? ... What would have happened? I feel like the only reason I have the friends I have is because of PvA.
Does anyone care for my art? Normal, vore or otherwise? Fuck. It feels like I can be so much more artistic and be recognized like many of the other great artists out there. If I am noticed not directly by my page. "Oh, your that guy making that Pokemon vore game." Geeez! And that's AFTER I bring up somethign PvA related. Okay, I get that maybe i shouldn't feel this way at all, but seriously. I am so fucking jealous of seeing other artists leave me in the dust while I'm here with this ship anchor tied to my tail. It's not leading me to think good thoughts about other great artists... My thoughts only turn into a vicious cycle from there.
It's not only the art even. Just how the fuck do you guys find the time to do amazing art AND run life? I feel like I am lucky to have the time I am given, but I feel I have not a yiffing thing to so for any of it! Chating with people online and local, keeping your place tidy, working a job, keeping yourself entertain via games/shows/movies/etc, on top of drawing awesome art. It's mind boggling!
... Sometimes, I damn my ambitiousness. I mean in a way that I too wanna be known. Maybe not a big shot like other furs, but for people to know me. As Zack. Not "That guy making PvA". I sometimes think to myself a driving force for PvA was to find friends. In case you guys didn't know. I had next to no one before PvA. Because of PvA, I know have friends, but it now feels like it's weighting me down.
*Sigh* I donno guys. I really don't know. Now more then ever, I want to draw, but at the moment. I feel I would draw stuff in bad testes. Like, relating some negatives that I've been forming the last couple days about the vore commonalty. Doing things that would burn bridges, both now setup, and not yet started.
Kinda loosing my train of thought now. Feedback please? I'm in a rut. (obviously)
EDIT: Hey guys. I'm feeling better now. Just needed to get that off my chest cause it was burning me up. Thanks to everybody that responded. Hopefully by next week, I can post a new journal and have my Gauls revised.
What would things be like if I never made PvA a thing? Would I have as many watchers? no, the friends I got? ... What would have happened? I feel like the only reason I have the friends I have is because of PvA.
Does anyone care for my art? Normal, vore or otherwise? Fuck. It feels like I can be so much more artistic and be recognized like many of the other great artists out there. If I am noticed not directly by my page. "Oh, your that guy making that Pokemon vore game." Geeez! And that's AFTER I bring up somethign PvA related. Okay, I get that maybe i shouldn't feel this way at all, but seriously. I am so fucking jealous of seeing other artists leave me in the dust while I'm here with this ship anchor tied to my tail. It's not leading me to think good thoughts about other great artists... My thoughts only turn into a vicious cycle from there.
It's not only the art even. Just how the fuck do you guys find the time to do amazing art AND run life? I feel like I am lucky to have the time I am given, but I feel I have not a yiffing thing to so for any of it! Chating with people online and local, keeping your place tidy, working a job, keeping yourself entertain via games/shows/movies/etc, on top of drawing awesome art. It's mind boggling!
... Sometimes, I damn my ambitiousness. I mean in a way that I too wanna be known. Maybe not a big shot like other furs, but for people to know me. As Zack. Not "That guy making PvA". I sometimes think to myself a driving force for PvA was to find friends. In case you guys didn't know. I had next to no one before PvA. Because of PvA, I know have friends, but it now feels like it's weighting me down.
*Sigh* I donno guys. I really don't know. Now more then ever, I want to draw, but at the moment. I feel I would draw stuff in bad testes. Like, relating some negatives that I've been forming the last couple days about the vore commonalty. Doing things that would burn bridges, both now setup, and not yet started.
Kinda loosing my train of thought now. Feedback please? I'm in a rut. (obviously)
EDIT: Hey guys. I'm feeling better now. Just needed to get that off my chest cause it was burning me up. Thanks to everybody that responded. Hopefully by next week, I can post a new journal and have my Gauls revised.
Anyway, yeah, that's just my thoughts on the matter.
Your art in general is average - not stunning, but also above some of the scribbles and sneeze-on-canvas quality stuff that pops up from time to time. So no, it's hardly an attraction point beyond something to glance at and enjoy in passing. Even PvA is more of a fun novelty due to the vore and pokemon blend (not that I'm putting it down mind you).
Perhaps taking a step back from what you're doing and approaching it from a different angle is in order? You know, step away from the trees to see the forest or some such rot. You know, work on a small project or a single image just for the fun of drawing and creating. Worry about becoming more famous later and let things happen as they will. Worst case is you stay an underground artist with a small but honest following... or become another artist pandering to people looking for handouts.
Being able to make good art makes me feel good about myself. That "I really did that" moment is one of the best feelings, and I have spent days relooking at the same piece when feeling it broke a level higher.
Aside from that, I do like the artwork you produce, and probably wouldn't have otherwise seen it if you haven't produced a game that initially got everyone's attention. People expect your game to be released at some point, and would eagerly jump at anything related to it. As for your art, it's unique (in its own way) to me at least, primarily because of your art style that I haven't really seen others use in any decent sense at all.
Regardless of what the community thinks, I believe people should be permitted to go into whatever they desire, instead of being pushed towards one thing or another by the community that expects one select thing and one thing alone (such as adulterated artwork, for example, in the cases where people are harassed over the fact that they went against what the community wanted). Because I saw someone complain of this in a journal sometime back, I made a rageguy comic as a parody of that bit of information.
https://www.furaffinity.net/view/9788904 <---Link in case you're interested in looking.
What would you prefer to do? Make artwork, or work on PvA?
In some cases, I do love PvA, and want to make it shine with how many ideas and story arhes it has, but at the same time. It feels like I can't put much work into my normal pics because PvA needs so much. Hance, why I'm upset about time, and having so few good art up.
Also, I didn't even notice the mention of PvA in the journal title until after you mentioned it.
I think you mean a lot to people, including me. Never be too hard on yourself. You are a fantastic person, and an amazing friend.
It's not an issue or a problem if you get hundreds of people watching you just because of PvA, because you'll always have hundreds more who watch you for other reasons, and then there are those who started watching because of PvA and then continued for the rest of your works, or continued because they like you even. It's actually pretty enviable, finding a project like that.
Admittedly, I have a tendency to be abnormally quiet, mostly because I'm either busy with something else, or I'm just not in the mood (most of the time actually). This is partially because I don't really much enjoy socializing with new people often, and I oft find myself in situations where I would like to talk, but morally don't because the people I would like to talk with are busy at the time and don't wish to be disturbed, or are away... so I don't really communicate x:
It's a bit of a double-edged sword for me. I would LOVE to talk and chit chat, but I'm not much of a talker to begin with for lack of topics to discuss, and I don't want to bother you when you're busy/away, which makes me seem like I ignore. :c
As far as your art is concerned, you do a REALLY good job on it! Often though, I don't really know what sort of input to put in besides maybe throw a fave here and there. Even then, I'm a bit of a personal stickler when it comes to preferences on what I like to fave, since I don't fave EVERYTHING my favorite artists do. x-x;
Regarding IRL life and drawing? Don't get me wrong, I've been there and done that myself. Juggling tends to be difficult, but some people actually make a living off of drawing, so they don't really have to work, aside from actually drawing, anyway |:T You just have to prioritize and set a schedule for yourself, rather than saying "oh, well I feel like drawing RIGHT NOW!" when you SHOULD be doing something else. It takes a bit of finesse, especially when there are a LOT of things you'd much rather be doing.
I knew you before PvA anyway
And yeah i know this is pretty much the first time I've ever talked, but I appreciate everything you've done for all us.