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Going threw some shit...
10 years ago
so ...it's been a while since my last boyfriend and i had broken up... almost 3/4 months now... but things at home haven't gotten any better... and i'm not sure what i should do anymore... i can't focus on studying for my GED or studying for my Driver's license ...
I thought by re-directing my attention to something more important i'd get over him... but i can't seem to do so...(side note: he & i have been trying to be friends,for now..) ... -sighs- ... i have no idea...what else to do...but sit here in my room and mope, like a teenager in high school...
I barely draw anymore...i just don't have the time nor the patience to do so... and when i do draw it's some half- ass pile of crap...
Now i have friends who are talking about suicide...i'm trying my hardest trying not to lose my mind...when i was in middle school, thinking back , I never thought my life would be like this... i used to have big dreams... now here i sit, 21, losing friends, sitting at home on Friday nights...feeling so lost & lonely in this huge world... i feel like i'm drowning...and you'd think when your drowning, someone would notice at some point and try and help... but everyone is so caught up in their lives ... that here i am again trying to figure out how to get myself out of this mess...
My re-built elbow hasn't been helping me either...painful, painful ...PAINFUL piece of shit... thankful i still have an arm... regardless...i didn't think 9 months later... i'd have sharp painful pinches internally ....in my elbow... ugh.... *face desk* ...i would ask the universe on how my life could get any worse... but i don't feel like challenging the universe... anymore..
i thought my life was looking up after the accident , but alas.. i was lied too... my life's just one big joke i guess... not only do i have friends trying to kill themselves my family is falling apart, and i cannot be happy with the one i love....and siting here on a friday night all i want to do is rip my arm off... =_=; ...due to the excruciating pain it has been putting me threw all day long... -sighs-..
just needed to vent somewhere... anywhere...i honestly have no where else to turn to anymore...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xhdNa3iy5rw
I thought by re-directing my attention to something more important i'd get over him... but i can't seem to do so...(side note: he & i have been trying to be friends,for now..) ... -sighs- ... i have no idea...what else to do...but sit here in my room and mope, like a teenager in high school...
I barely draw anymore...i just don't have the time nor the patience to do so... and when i do draw it's some half- ass pile of crap...
Now i have friends who are talking about suicide...i'm trying my hardest trying not to lose my mind...when i was in middle school, thinking back , I never thought my life would be like this... i used to have big dreams... now here i sit, 21, losing friends, sitting at home on Friday nights...feeling so lost & lonely in this huge world... i feel like i'm drowning...and you'd think when your drowning, someone would notice at some point and try and help... but everyone is so caught up in their lives ... that here i am again trying to figure out how to get myself out of this mess...
My re-built elbow hasn't been helping me either...painful, painful ...PAINFUL piece of shit... thankful i still have an arm... regardless...i didn't think 9 months later... i'd have sharp painful pinches internally ....in my elbow... ugh.... *face desk* ...i would ask the universe on how my life could get any worse... but i don't feel like challenging the universe... anymore..
i thought my life was looking up after the accident , but alas.. i was lied too... my life's just one big joke i guess... not only do i have friends trying to kill themselves my family is falling apart, and i cannot be happy with the one i love....and siting here on a friday night all i want to do is rip my arm off... =_=; ...due to the excruciating pain it has been putting me threw all day long... -sighs-..
just needed to vent somewhere... anywhere...i honestly have no where else to turn to anymore...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xhdNa3iy5rw
