Everything comes in time. I don't wanna sound cheesy there but it's true. For a long while I thought I'd be single forever since I was for almost 2 years but out of the blue my current mate just showed up and it's been great. Just gotta be willing to wait for the right person. It's shitty that your family isn't accepting of who you are. Wish people wouldn't be so damn stubborn. I haven't read anything that you have written but I will look into that! Best of luck and I hope things get better for you!

you are my friend silver. i like you. your nice and helpful. hugs.

Patience my young Yote ^.^

I know all of these posts and advice about taking your time is probably driving you even more insane, but it's true.
But I can also understand, more than anyone, having to vent. So don't feel that you are in the wrong, or that no one listens.
Just take your time and do the best with what you got. Everything has a balance.

It was actually difficult for me to post this reply and even as I post it I feel the anxiety bubbling up and down my extremities for I feel intimidated approaching people already entrenched in their tight circles of friends (And perhaps the furry fandom even more given it's such a hypersocial nexus and I being my autistic self). I hope you don't mind my prodigious wall of text if you even choose to read it given that you even say that you might just have forgotten about this vent journal.

I made the mistake with my first "relationship" of falling for the idea of love, for the infatuation. I did not try to help myself before I let it happen, I foolishly let myself believe that just by having a girlfriend everything would fix itself. I so self servingly assumed that answers would come to me rather than me having to seek the,. I felt even lonelier in her arms no matter how sweet the kisses and in the end I hurt someone who had come to care deeply for me because I half-heatedly presumed romance would fix what was actually a barrier to romance--all the usual longings tainted by my insecurities and my lack of self determination and direction; all the using for my ultimately short sighted ends. You have got to love yourself in order to love and be loved. You must also be capable of being a stand alone person to find lasting love. If you define yourself by the love you seek, and if you find it, then possess; then you have made a fundamental error that puts your entire sense of being at unmediated risk.

I hate it too when people say I am a wonderful writer, when all I have is bare bones potential; what is necessary is the will and the direction to go forward with it. Whatever the direction though, there's few writers that can live on writing alone. They tend to such varied lives which tends to give them more inspiration through experience, its all about channeling perception and experience. A writing career isn't set up in a few years learning skills and a lot more learning on the job, it is made in a lifetime which is why it is one of the most insane choices you can make. It will never happen though if you can't come to see it in yourself--and of course to write you have to write. I see your gallery is rather sparse. Do you write much beyond that? If you want to be a writer you must write until your hands fall off and keep writing and read even more than that. Its not unreasonable to say that you ought not to trust someone who has written greatly more books then they have read. (unless they have lived it, but even then be mindful of rose glasses). I know well that this is what I must live up to though I am not near there yet myself.

As much as you say you love the fandom that could be your muse!
Have you heard of: [code]MStegosaurus[/code]?
If you haven't his work is a brilliant and dynamic synthesis of
furry perspective. He could certainly serve as an inspiration.
Another brilliant writer would be [code]threetails[/code] hers is
fine mix of mysticism and science fiction with a furry bent.

In respect to religion I can feel you there. Much of my family thinks I lean more between agnostic and liberally religious, but I am actually and most definitely an atheist, but I have been starting to learn that if one wants to be a happy atheist one must find some way to make up for it. For many scientists it is easy for they have a life defining passion, but finding that certain passion or focus elsewhere for those who aren't so scientifically inclined is a challenge to be certain. For my trouble I have considered pursuing meditation. ( Of note is that raw Buddhism is actually atheistic, it has no true deity) Religion might so often be an organized crap shoot that allows for good people to atrocity on a grand scale but it is hardily without its merits or virtues in personal terms. One has got to have a counter current to the crushing actuality of one's own mortality.

Those that are at least smart enough are so easily their own worst enemies for they find themselves so easily fixated upon their acute awareness of their inadequacies and ignorance rather than working by and through what they do know and what they can in paced time conceive to learn. One will never know it all but one has got to be able to live comfortably within real time or what wasn't, isn't, was, is couldn't could be will all be simply irrelevant. Life sucks a lot and you have to swallow your pride if you want to succeed. Its not fair what so many are paid but that's not going to change, so you must change. Whether it is seeking new skills and/or a different job' or it is just merely a change in attitude. As for skills you might just surprise yourself if you can get out of your way to try things.

Hey there fella. I saw you tonight on another posting but didn't see if you're still active. Is there any chance you'll be around FA?

I'm much better now and yes, yes I will. Thank you :3 *hugz*

Okie doke *hugs* I was just thinking gee whiz this guy's having a rough time of things. It's great to know you're better now though. ^^