As far as I see it, you don't have to great with it, just the fact that you try says a whole lot. I hope things get better for you! I'm sure they will, but time can go by so slowly. I think it was also very good that you made this journal and got this off your chest.

I never post comments or talk to you (rather shy and nervous talking to people) but I do look forward to your art. So I hope that your art helps you cope with your current hardships in some way.

Oh sweetheart,
It breaks my heart to see you so upset. Please, please, please do not put yourself down like that because of someone who is to stubborn to see you as a best friend/friend. You are a great person, kindness and being friendly takes you a long long way. Please cheer up.
You are not an asshole, you may or may not be the best but that what make us human. In my eyes, in my opinion you are the best, the sweetest and most caring person and that is never going to change.
You know how to reach me sweetheart. <3

Thanks for sharing. I find it hard to connect too. A good man is hard to find

Dahh I may not have you on skype or anything as of right now, I'd be welcome to that, but I'm quite certain that you've got no obligations to explain yourself to anyone. Which makes the fact that you are quite admirable. We can't keep up with absolutely everyone we'd call our friends on the internet on a daily basis. I have friends who sometimes get on me for being talking to them every day. But then neither do they talk to me and I don't go blaming them. We all have a lot of things we could be doing and its impossible to keep up with absolutely everything. :)

Don't really need to be a "great human being" to be important. Constitutional rights, mothers, true friends,
to some folks also religion. It's all based on being human and not a "great human". I don't think people
should base their affection too much on the "greatnes of a person". That way you just end up losing people,
who once were important to you. Still hoping things will work out for you!

You are amazing in my eyes. And i continue to learn alot from you. It may be a different way of being a great person, but it make me like watching your stream. And look up to you as an artist. ^W^.
I try really hard to Chat with you but baby gets in the way of that and dont want to bug you with my interuptions.
I am here for you and dont expect anything back for my friendship i give to you.... *huggles* Hopping for the best for you <3

<3 little sweetie Tawny

If you have to break down what you've done to be considered a "best friend", chances are the other person doesn't see you the same way. Now this person who did this might be a great person, but clearly there wasn't a connection, so no dice. They can be upset about that and you can be upset that they're upset, but if you don't feel it, you don't feel it.

That doesn't make you a bad person. I won't bother explaining how awesome you are because I don't think you're in a place to hear it, but you are.

*hugs* You're a good guy. You are.

I know I'm not much more than a name in chat during the streams I catch, and I don't make friends easily but I like you. You were nice, friendly and welcoming to me, and I appreciate you extending that to me.

Thank you DeD.

Dude, maybe you should accept that you are, by definition, worth at least as much as those around you believe you are. As for this other guy... well, he's got it really tragically wrong, and it's going to bite him in the ass time after time after time until he understands: making friends isn't an exercise in bribery and debt. You give what you can, you accept with grace, and if the relationship feels unequal you move on.

GOSH WHY AM I NOT YOUR BFF FOR LIFE WE TALKED 3 TIMES. >:( /angry. Just kidding <3 don't be so hard on yourself, everyone is just doin' what they have to do to get through life. You don't go out of your way to literally hurt people, you're not a bad person at all. I only really talk to 2 of my friends and thats like...a couple times a week?? Sometimes skip weeks...I'm terrible. It doesn't mean they're not my friends or best friends, it just means I have a lot of stuff in my life.

Bubba... if I could I would go over there and slap you. ....then I would cuddle you

You have it rough... yes... you struggle, you try your hardest... but dont EVER say that you are not a good person or that you are not a good friend... you mean more to me than anyone on the internet, and I had the pleasure of meeting you in real life and it was cut WAY too short, I cried when we left, I didnt want to go... you know why? cause I love you. Cause you are amazing to me. I struggle alot as well... with different issues, but issues all the same, and you have NEVER turned me down to talk... you are always there to comfort me, to listen to my endless whining, to tell me that no matter what life throws at me I know that if it gets too much to bare, that my bubba will always be there for me to talk to... and I hate to admit it, but I count on it. I need you in my life bubba, and you know that anyone that isnt worth it, I do away with, I dont want to surround myself with "assholes". YOU are not an asshole... you are not some horrible person bubba... you are my friend, my best friend, my bubba... you mean the world to me, and I love you with all my heart.

I know you wont believe me, I know you struggle with thinking this way, you have some really really bad depression love... and thats what I heard talking in this journal... your depression... not you

Anyone that would get mad at you about not being "listed on your page" isnt the right kind of friend. They want the publicity, the title... the exposure... I have had people that have thrown that at me in the past... they dont care about you like they should. The people you have on your page, are the people that YOU want there... its YOUR decision... I personally think its shitty of anyone to bitch about that. what does it matter? really... what does it matter? pardon me, but fuck them. If this is what you feel after that... you dont need them in your life.

And its okay to break... its okay to cry... trust me I do my fair share of it, youve heard me. If you ever want someone there with you, or you want someone to listen, or you need company, you have my phone number, call me anytime anyday... I am here for you bubba I always will be. And I mean it, when I get a house and I am out of these god forsaken apartments... I will be on your case to move here with me. I will take care of you, I will cause I love you. I know you dont want to leave your brother, but I dont go to work... unless its at my computer and I would be more than willing to take you where you need to go... I love you and I have no issue careing for you. Seriously.... think about... thats all I am asking.

*hugs tight* I love you bubba... I do... I love you so much and I wish you didnt have to feel like you did today... I wish I could be there to just cuddle you to pieces

This, a thousand times this! ^^^^^ -'s Post -

If someone is keeping tally of what they've done for you, and feel you should be holding them of a pedestal instead of letting things happen naturally they aren't real friends. It is better to have $1 than 100 pennies. :3 So please don't beat yourself up. :< I'm just a shy lurker, but thought this kind of emotional abuse was BS :< I hope you feel better soon.

I know that losing anyone as a friend, as well as, getting the feeling that you caused another harm unintentionally tears you up inside...but that's what makes you human and especially what makes you a good person. If you were an asshole or the worst kind of person, then you would hurt others on purpose to make yourself feel better...and I know for a fact that it's simply not you. We all hurt those we love at some point or another, but when we try to fix said problem and look past the flaws that each other has...that's true friendship. I know you're flawed...I'm flawed. Kimmy's flawed, Glitter's flawed...hell even Dae is flawed. But you still love us anyways and we love you in the same manner. Have you and the others hurt me in the past? Yes...but I forgive you guys, knowing that it wasn't done with malice intentions but out of miscommunication or just me taking it too personal. I know I have hurt you and the others in the past, yet you all still keep me close. I may not be emotionally unstable as yourself, but I do get hurt very easily and immensely when I hurt my friends without intention and even have been tossed aside by who I thought were my "close friends". Yes, I may not have lived such a rough life compared to yours or the others I have befriended through FA...but that doesn't stop me from trying to understand and be there to comfort and protect you and the others.

As for the fact of getting pissed off over not being listed on your FA profile page...people like that need to grow up and take notice that this isn't high school anymore. Most would want to be on your page only to get more attention centered on them, make them feel as if they are talented or "popular" just because they are friends with an amazing artist. Any sort of title such as friend, mate, pet, master/mistress...it all gives them a sense of entitlement and causes them to think they are better than others and will use it as a weapon against you. That only leads to people who only want to befriend you for art and who would toss you aside the moment they sense that you are unable to give them the "godly" treatment they think they deserve or free art. You don't need poisonous people such as them in your life...so don't allow them any attention. Was this mentioned person a friend in the past? Sure...but from how they've been acting and emotionally abusing you...it seems like it was not meant to be. Sure, some people change...but others don't show you their "true" selves until much much later. You choose who gets to be on your profile page...you are the one who feels that close to them and if others don't like it then they can fuck off and just deal with it. If the relationship isn't real...then move on, don't hurt yourself trying to revive something that will never be real in your eyes and heart.

It's okay to cry and let it out when you are hurting, I may not be the best at comforting but you know that I'm always here for you. I always have been, even if I'm at a loss for words I still try to show you comfort in some way. Be it a hug in Skype, a cute picture I found to show you, or me trying my best to draw or color something...my actions still show the thought. I love you like a close friend Puppy and I hate to see it when others make you feel like this, as it makes me want to do two things. Comfort you...and slowly torture the other person to make them feel the pain you feel tenfold. Real friends will stick by you and be your strength when you falter, remember this...as you have handfuls of them.

I think you're pretty nice. I know you're not perfect, but lots of people try to help you out (I know I was still poor when I donated, but I almost never give up money unless it's for a close friend), and you're pretty honest and stuff. And try not to worry about that fake "best friend". Real friends don't hold that stuff over you.

Instead of a really big wall of text, lemme just say that yes, it sucks to be human with all these flaws that peeps often overlook. We're all imperfect one way or another, but don't let that thing linger in your furry head. There was a reason why we're all flawed, so that we can better accept who we are. Some guys find it hard to see, but they should learn nonetheless the beauty in each of us - you included.

*hugs*

I am an asshole in the sense that I don't say nice things just to SEEM or LOOK nice. I say nice things only if I genuinely feel like saying nice things. I have never "cheered you up" because it was something I "should" do to someone whose sad. I've only done what I have wanted to do, and I will continue to do so. If one day you don't like that, I will leave you alone. But so far, you've seemed okay with me being the way I am and doing the things I want to do.
It may be hard for you to believe, but I am not putting up any shows because I should for your sake - I am your friend because I want to be, and I show taht I care in ways I feel like showing it.

So in that regard. I know how you feel, I've been down and hated myself and disagreed with people saying whatever nice things that say about me. They say I'm nice, and I instantly go "no" in my mind. Or out loud.
But here's the thing. It's very rude. You or I cannot tell other people what to think. I can't tell you I'm shitty and not to be my friend, and you can't tell me you're not great and I can't think of you as such. If I told you I'm awful, you'd probably just go "no you're not!" and THAT is what you will think of me, regardless what I say.
So, you are of course free to try and influence my thoughts on you or anything else really... but you can't REALLY tell me how to think.
You're still precious to me, and I'm genuinely sorry I can't do more for you from way over here... but I hope you sometimes remember under all that self-loathing that you have people who really care for you.

Your life is a sad one, and it's understandable to be sad in it... but it still doesn't change the fact that you're loved for the person you are.

Bud we don't get to talk alot. What with my life in the mess it is, but you're a good sort. And far more... Emotionally... Err... That emotion thing that most people do. That I lack. Empathy! Anyways you're a good sort. Just remember you've got friends who take you as you are. Good and bad man. Just be happy being you.