This is a parody of True Facts by zefrank1
True Facts about the Gsolf.
-A Gsolf is a gshep/wolf hybrid and was named after the Atlantic ocean.
-It has the best qualities of its parents without being afraid of the vacuum cleaner.
-Unlike cats, the Gsolf loves spray bottles and keeps collections of them on their shelf above the telly.
-The Gsolf has the ability to fly, but only with the feathers of the dodo bird, which is extinct, so the Gsolf will never fly again.
-Gsolfs are not born, they just appear randomly in a field surrounded by bacon and cookie dough.
-The Gsolf favourite food is cookie dough and bacon because they are born with it.
-The Gsolf only speaks Germanic languages and this is why they sound like they want to invade Poland and France every 5 seconds.
The Gsolfs favourite colour is blue. Even though no Gsolf has ever been blue, but they like painting them selves blue and can only remove it with the tears of butterflies.
-The Gsolf can be the best Grammar Nazis you have ever met.
-The Gsolf will always break one rule in grammar when it comes to its species name, if you disagree, they will slap you with a stick in the shape of the Moon and you will not speak for 2 months, 7 days, 4 hours, 16 seconds and 18 milliseconds later.
The Gsolf does not howl to the Moon, it howls to Venus instead, which is getting real tried of it and wants to take a nap on the Suns surface like it does every May.
-The Gsolfs favourite artist is Fox Amoore.
-The Gsolf is older than Kages wine problem.
-Gsolf will only fight zombies, every other conflict they stay out, unless France is on the other side and then they will go to war.
-The Gsolf can not be classified by science, people have tried and they died because of it.
-As you can see, the Gsolf does not like France, no one knows why this is.
-The Gsolf will mark its territory with bacon grease.
-The Gsolfs favourite animal is the minion.
-The Gsolf can travel through time, but only with the sweat of whale to activate this ability.
-The Gsolf loves colour bombing people with blue paint.
-The Gsolf can perfectly disguise it’s self as a throw rug, but only after skipping 3 meals in 7 days.
-The Gsolf hates the moon, we don’t know why they do this.
-Gsolfs are only born every 5 years on a half a moon.
-The Gsolfs favourite weapon is Jay Leno’s hair.
-The Gsolf will sleep through the World cup every time, even though it tries to stay wake and watch.
-The Gsolf usually rigs the Olympics to favour Finland.
-The Gsolf makes no sense.
-The Gsolf makes perfect sense.
-The Gsolfs favourite comic book character is Stan Lee.
-The Gsolf has Leonardo DiCaprio’s Oscar in an attic on Venus.
-Leonardo DiCaprio is secretly a Gsolf.
-The Gsolfs is only good at ping pong.
-The Gsolf’s eats 17 trillion pigs a year.
-No one has ever counted how many Gsolfs there are. But we asked Patrick Star and he says there are 12 of them, so we’ll go with that.
-There can be no more than 12 Gsolfs in the same room at once, because the universe will fart its self and make a baby universe, which will be named.... Bob.
- The Gsolf can step on lego and it will not affect them.

This was a parody that I wrote and wrote down what came to my head without thinking about in depth.