23. "I feel like a NASCAR driver in the UK."

22. "Your straw has some issues."

21. "Maybe it's gum-flavored wood."

20. "I'm abusive to menus."

19. "Those bowling pins have seen better days."

18. "He has the most entertaining drink of all."

17. "Don't get too attached to your pizza."

16. "The back of that boat is really distracting."

15. "There are trees growing out of the road."

14. "I'm not an armrest."

13. "I can't move my face anymore."

12. "It's like a small victory for dyslexic children."

11. "There will be vengeance and blood and vengeance-blood."

10. "I'm way more entertained by this than I should be."

9. "You look like a moving health hazard."

8. "My mustache is going to fall into my drink."

7. "Are you the lady in my phone?"

6. "It's a weapon of mass distraction."

5. "You just smashed, like, twenty children's dreams."

4. "I thought it said 'Magic Cactus'. If you rub it, it gives you three wishes."

3. "I want a fire hydrant that shoots out fire."

2. "It's definitely thicker than it looks."

1. "It doesn't fit. I'm not even going to risk that."