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lathargic
10 years ago
General
hate dipretion always feeling restless but no energy to do anything. not to mention the stress one feels epecaly whe nyou have people that keep telling ya that "i dont see how you could be stressed while siting around all day' waiting and checking up job aplacations. the time i do get energy of any kind i cant seem to do anything with it.
just so god damed stressed and tierd of beng contently on edge that i forgot somthing or always waiting for shit to hit the fan or the like.
i've been getting to the point were i dont even care about my health. haveing teeth go bad and blood presher being very high were they dont dare attempte to get teeth that would be better removed and get this god dam pain out that i always have. getting to the point were i can just ignore it or even use it to remind myself that i'm still alive kinda feeling.
life is just lousy and dosnt look like it getting any better soon even on meds. i get on meds then i start to feel better then i get to the point were all i see in my life is just more the same shit no matter how i look at it. i think about what it would be like with me gone but thankfuly my disier to live is still quite a bit stronger then wanting to go though with it.
wouldn't surprise me if i have an addiction to my computer and that it's one of the things keeping me from thinking about killing my self and probably one of the things keeping me as happy as i can get.
just so dam hard to do shit when you have no drive and haveing angziaty al the time. always feeling like something is always going to pop up that you forgot or waiting for someone to bitch at ya for not haveing the drive or energy to do and they just can't or wont understand. all they see is how there life is and wonder why you dont see it that way and just get up and do something like the anser is just all in your head and dosent cause all the physical issues it dose.
i'm trying but i dont see an end in sight to how i'm feeling. dosnt help that i live 10 miles from any populated areas where i can more esaly feel that i have better acsess to things that could have a posabilaty to work. dosnt help that i'm in a catch 22 were i anve little money to get to town and i need to get to town to get a job to get mone for gas and like.
just so god damed stressed and tierd of beng contently on edge that i forgot somthing or always waiting for shit to hit the fan or the like.
i've been getting to the point were i dont even care about my health. haveing teeth go bad and blood presher being very high were they dont dare attempte to get teeth that would be better removed and get this god dam pain out that i always have. getting to the point were i can just ignore it or even use it to remind myself that i'm still alive kinda feeling.
life is just lousy and dosnt look like it getting any better soon even on meds. i get on meds then i start to feel better then i get to the point were all i see in my life is just more the same shit no matter how i look at it. i think about what it would be like with me gone but thankfuly my disier to live is still quite a bit stronger then wanting to go though with it.
wouldn't surprise me if i have an addiction to my computer and that it's one of the things keeping me from thinking about killing my self and probably one of the things keeping me as happy as i can get.
just so dam hard to do shit when you have no drive and haveing angziaty al the time. always feeling like something is always going to pop up that you forgot or waiting for someone to bitch at ya for not haveing the drive or energy to do and they just can't or wont understand. all they see is how there life is and wonder why you dont see it that way and just get up and do something like the anser is just all in your head and dosent cause all the physical issues it dose.
i'm trying but i dont see an end in sight to how i'm feeling. dosnt help that i live 10 miles from any populated areas where i can more esaly feel that i have better acsess to things that could have a posabilaty to work. dosnt help that i'm in a catch 22 were i anve little money to get to town and i need to get to town to get a job to get mone for gas and like.
