Id like to start out by telling you a story.
The year is 2013 and i was homeless at the moment. I was camping around town with 2 friend for a while now and one of them 'well use initials' AG and JD said lets go see a friend of his. So we go and there i saw her, the girl that stole my heart. I talked to her mom and got to know her and now to this day she is mom. She was a high christian and i even got baptized for her, didn't know me for anything, gave me a place to stay and food to eat. She treated me like family, like nobody ever has. So i moved in and lived with them for 6 months, in those 6 months my heart slowly opened back up to this girl 'Not her mom, just to clear the air' We spent 6 months together and i couldn't of been happier, and i wasn't looking for sex because its been 8 years since and its not a priority to me. In the 6 months we both hurt each other but we always came back to the same house. Well after the 6 months we had a hard split, i got her a ring, a promise ring and told her i wanted to be serious and she said yes, but she wasn't ready. "Its 2014 now" So i talked things out with my dad and moved back in. I didn't talk to anyone let alone my best friend  Leewarrior2010 I was hiding just staring at the 4 walls of my room driving myself insane, thinking about what i did wrong. "Opening up here" If it wasn't for one of my closest friends and his fiance just walking into my house and into my room i wouldn't be here. I had a knife to my throat and ready to end it, but he jumped on me and saved me. It was at that moment i saw who i became. I was a monster, i treated everyone like my father treated me, like everyone was dirt under my shoe and i could do what ever. So from there on i started bettering myself, i started to rediscover who i was. but God said her and i were not threw yet. I get a phone call from her saying our trailer caught fire, there was a pin hole in the pro-pain lines and the trailer should of exploded... but it didn't. She was scared and needed a friend, and i am not one to turn down and friend in need. So i go to where she is staying, with some friends. That same night we had a moment of weakness and kissed. This was the summer of 2014 and we spend till the fall together. I felt happier than the last time because i didn't miss treat her, i grew up. Well the fall hit and the trailer was livable for the moment, so we all moved back in. Not even 2 weeks after that she said she was moving to Florida with her father and leaving me here. I asked why and in tears i begged her to stay. I even asked her mom what i had to do to keep her here with me in my arms, But nothing was enough. She left me here to rot, and so i did. I started to revert back into the depression. The darkness once again ate me alive, i couldn't see what way to go and how to get out. "Its 2015 now" Than i saw a hand, breaking threw the shrouded darkness, It was Rosco helping me on my feet. He showed me that the world has changed and everything would be ok. Though i still missed her i accepted his help. He introduced me to the fandom, and some great new friend. I finally felt like i belonged somewhere and was as happy as i was with her. So many hugs and so much fur lol i couldn't stop smiling. Well i was just informed she is back from Florida and is staying at her moms, and is in a relationship with JD who i haven't talked to since all this went down. Iv had almost a year to think about this,my former friend is dating my ex. That's all that ran threw my head and i was angry, and i wanted them to know. But while she was living in Florida i kept in contact with her mom, like i said she is like my own mom. So i opened up to her about everything and how i feel, and she help me realize something. Everything happens for a reason and life is a lesson we all need to learn. So Rethinking everything, a part of me wants to fight for her because growing up i was always told to fight for what you love "Thank you Dragon ball z" but the other half says if you love something let it go, if it comes back it was always meant to be. So i maned up for the first time in years and message JD on facebook, we talked for a little caught each other up on the years and i said something that i never thought id say. I told him that as much as it kills me to say this, i am happy for the both of them. They make each other happy and have both helped each other change for the better. He makes her happy and that's all i care about. So i think i am finally ready to move on, get closure and be happy with another. My heart is finally in recovery mode and almost ready to move on.
So my questions to you all is, how do you move on from someone you gave 100% of your life to? How do you let go of the past and close the door? Why am i so scared to do this? Can i even muster up the courage to do this? Ho do i move on? I want to.