FA+
Shop
growing fears
10 years ago
(copy and pasted from dA)
uhh hey everyone, I know most of you won't care about this and probably delete this from your messages, and I wouldn't blame you but I just wanted to get this off of my chest, earlier today while going through my messages a deviant artist posted a journal about their history w/ jealousy. I too suffer from jealousy, and I'm sure many of you know that by now, there are so many people I'm jealous of, whether it's their art style, experience and I guess popularity even though I don't really care about being popular, I wish I wasn't like this but it seems like a very natural feeling, but it still makes me feel bad, looking at my art and looking at another person's art makes me question whether or not I'm actually good enough or talented enough to be here, but that's not the only thing I'm jealous about, I'm jealous about where I am with my friends, sometimes I feel like my friends are closer to each other than they are with me and that probably is true, now I feel bad about that, it makes me feel like I'm being selfish, but there have been countless times where my best friend is taken away from me by another person and I'm just left back wondering if I did something to annoy them or whatever else..but other than that, that's it for the jealousy category.
now onto the actual reason for this journal, as some of you may have noticed, I haven't posted anything in a while reason being is because like before I don't think my art is good enough to be here, and I'm not talented enough, I don't get many comments but I'm thankful for the comments I do get, but when I go to someone who actually is more talented their comments can go on for pages and pages, and it really makes me sad that I have to realize that people actually just don't care about what I do. That's why I always disabled my comments and I may go back to doing that, I see as a way of helping people, and I lie helping people so ya'know win win right?
but the other reason is because recently a lot of people have wanted to commission me, it feels like people on here only talk to me for that reason and not anything else but that is for a different day. Anyway back to what I was saying, I've recently started to get this fear that I will disappoint someone with my art, I recently had to turn down a commission b/c of that very reason and it made me feel bad....so many people request and commission me for so many things ignorant to the fact of what it does to me, it truly scares me and the last thing I want to is disappoint someone...so it'll be a while until I post things again, just in case someone was curios or cared
but anyway that is all
uhh hey everyone, I know most of you won't care about this and probably delete this from your messages, and I wouldn't blame you but I just wanted to get this off of my chest, earlier today while going through my messages a deviant artist posted a journal about their history w/ jealousy. I too suffer from jealousy, and I'm sure many of you know that by now, there are so many people I'm jealous of, whether it's their art style, experience and I guess popularity even though I don't really care about being popular, I wish I wasn't like this but it seems like a very natural feeling, but it still makes me feel bad, looking at my art and looking at another person's art makes me question whether or not I'm actually good enough or talented enough to be here, but that's not the only thing I'm jealous about, I'm jealous about where I am with my friends, sometimes I feel like my friends are closer to each other than they are with me and that probably is true, now I feel bad about that, it makes me feel like I'm being selfish, but there have been countless times where my best friend is taken away from me by another person and I'm just left back wondering if I did something to annoy them or whatever else..but other than that, that's it for the jealousy category.
now onto the actual reason for this journal, as some of you may have noticed, I haven't posted anything in a while reason being is because like before I don't think my art is good enough to be here, and I'm not talented enough, I don't get many comments but I'm thankful for the comments I do get, but when I go to someone who actually is more talented their comments can go on for pages and pages, and it really makes me sad that I have to realize that people actually just don't care about what I do. That's why I always disabled my comments and I may go back to doing that, I see as a way of helping people, and I lie helping people so ya'know win win right?
but the other reason is because recently a lot of people have wanted to commission me, it feels like people on here only talk to me for that reason and not anything else but that is for a different day. Anyway back to what I was saying, I've recently started to get this fear that I will disappoint someone with my art, I recently had to turn down a commission b/c of that very reason and it made me feel bad....so many people request and commission me for so many things ignorant to the fact of what it does to me, it truly scares me and the last thing I want to is disappoint someone...so it'll be a while until I post things again, just in case someone was curios or cared
but anyway that is all
Ah, and about your art... your art is PLENTY good enough to be here! (Look at the crappy work in my gallery for a boost of confidence X'D)
I used to think that my writing was not really good enough, compared to other writers here, that have been college educated, and actually have degrees in writing, compared to me, whose only 'lessons' were self taught, but still, I actually have people compliment and even suggest that I open commissions, because they think I was good enough for it XD
Keep your chin up B-L-U-E, things will start to get better for you
no, I don't wanna do that, it'll make me feel bad,and oh lord confidence is something that I really don't have, but thanks for the tip ^^
people asking for art from me is so confusing, my art isn't that good and there are plenty of other artists out there that are better, its just really strange to me, but its nice when the person is pleased with the outcome
and thanks again, hopefully things will
Here's something I will say, you cannot not please the world without disappointing someone, so please don't think that if you do that, it's the end. Just remember that you have awesome friends and peeps who care and love you, not for your art but the person that you are, B-L-U-E~
and I'd love to be a nerd with you ^^
I guess that probably is the reason why I care so much if I disappoint someone, well besides obvious reasons it's probably b/c I try to hard to please people, I care about other peoples feelings more than my own
which could be the reason why there just a marathon of requests that one time.
but again thank you so much for the support (´･ω･`)
Just be more yourself then! Or I will have to dig you out and just be a butt with you so you will not be alone anymore! O:
Well it does go to what I said about requests and relating to that. You do like pleasing others but you can't not really do it without crushing some eggs in the process.
Hey it's alright. Plus do you still want me to throw a note to keep you company and let you to have just a fellow peep to talk to? o:
and yeah,pleasing everyone is pretty hard, but I guess even though I don't want to admit it,my happiness and my feelings matter too
and sure, if you want to off
It is, just enjoy what you have and what your expanding with over time, the small things always matter and add up more than the big things~
Noooooooooooooooooooooo. You must tell me if you want to or not~ :P
I will trust me, the people I idolize and get jealous over actually had time to improve and experiment and the same will eventually happen to me .
lol alright, I do
annnnd? that's just normal in a way just don't let the best yet you, Blu~ c:
Alright -w-
I love them, unconditionally, they're amazing and that's that but I'm not into our friendship for your art, but for the person you are. I hope I don't come off as just liking your art, bec Ily queenie weenie I'm so glad to have met such an amazing person as you
As for the jealousy part, the same way you feel jealous of others' art others feel jealous of yours. You really are an amazing artist, not everyone can be such an amazing artist. And besides, with every piece you make you improve!
But you do what you must because you know what you need better than everyone else.
ffff bab you know I don't mind making things for you, when its for friends its alright but when its for people I don't know, that's when I panic.
awww don't worry, I know you're not just here for art and I really appreciate it ♥❤
Ily lil bloo bloo don't let anyone ever let you forget that
but I promise I'll never forget it
ilysm bby ♥