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Updates .3.
10 years ago
Random journal about what's been happening .3.
1. I have finally came up with a design for my new mouse (minor) fursona and her colourations are based on the asexual flag .w. She's a deer mouse mix kangaroo mouse (mainly a deer mouse but has a kangaroo mouse tail). All I need now is to name her which will be hard since my name is taken and so is my middle name x.x If anyone is wondering what's happening to Keely then I'm still keeping her, she'll just be more of an OC than a fursona. A random note, since I enjoyed making a character based on a sexuality flag, I'm thinking of making adoptables soon based on gender/sexuality flags .u. If anyone has any animal suggestions then let me know (note that they'll cost points as I do not have PayPal).
2. Monday was my first day of my HND (Higher National Diploma) course at college and honestly I felt sleepy during the three days xD The days were ok and honestly I seemed a little pleased because I actually spoke a little more than usual when we were in groups, however isn't enough to "make friends". I ended up talking about how me and my friends (online and RL) would make random references from films, cartoons or things on Youtube xD Or sometimes saying that we're that character, for example Miguel is my friend having her dramatic moments xD *dramatic guitar intensifies*, the reason why this was brought up was because we had to pick directors for the project and I was wondering who directed "The Road to El Dorado" and someone in my group loved that movie xD And it started from there. I wish I could be a little more open like that xD It was more of a minor kind of chat but still, at least I didn't stay silent or say one or two words. Another thing I was pleased with was that I had a lot of ideas for one of the movies we picked despite that I never seen it XD But I did research and knew a couple of references from it (I don't fancy watching it because it's psychological horror ._.) I think the group did well though and had a lot of great ideas, plus I enjoyed their side of the work XD It looked more neat. So yeah, the 3 days weren't so bad, however life drawing is coming up x-x I don't mind drawing poses and stuff, but if someone is naked then I'd feel uncomfortable if I HAD to draw their private areas XD I'll need to force myself to draw this stuff because I think university expects people to at least draw life drawing and constructive drawing. Don't expect me to make these a commission choice though, I'm not leaning to the NSFW side XD I have heard that there is a replacement if people don't want to do life drawing but...I don't want that choice xD *forgot name but not interested anyway* I'm not saying that life drawing is a bad thing, I understand the purpose of it (anatomy.etc) and honestly I wouldn't be bothered if I drew them naked but without me having to draw their nips, v-jays, peen.etc. I know that I'm an "adult" now but still |D I'll do this for the course and helping me do anatomy of my own art (SFW) but I won't be into it.
3. Tomorrow I'll be going to the doctor's since the last appointment got cancelled. I feel nervous but I'll have someone with me .n.; I think this is probably the first time I've been to the doctor's without my parents but my sister will be with me, I'd freak out if I was on my own plus I'd be clueless despite the number of times I've been there in the past. I'll make another journal to say what my "conditions" are and stuff about it .3. I feel like I may be put on anti-depressants or something to help me, possibly counseling as well (if it doesn't affect my college days). It should be a good thing that I decided to go to the doctor's about my problems because if I didn't then I will get worse and it would affect me with careers, meetings or whatever in future. I just want this to go away and honestly I should have went a few years ago but my Mum felt like it was nothing serious and just a "teenage girl" thing (she never experienced what I experienced but my Dad has so he's more understanding right now and knows how serious it is, however the shyness thing I'm more worse than both my parents were according to both of them). I remember having very few suicidal thoughts in the past but I tried to ignore them and try think I'll make it in future somehow :/ However my current thoughts is somehow me thinking that I wouldn't have a long life, I don't know why but I feel like something bad will happen whether accident, health.etc. I'm not planning anything but these are just thoughts, especially after I feel down because of something. I'll get better now, doctors are there to help so let's hope whatever treatment I get works xwx
1. I have finally came up with a design for my new mouse (minor) fursona and her colourations are based on the asexual flag .w. She's a deer mouse mix kangaroo mouse (mainly a deer mouse but has a kangaroo mouse tail). All I need now is to name her which will be hard since my name is taken and so is my middle name x.x If anyone is wondering what's happening to Keely then I'm still keeping her, she'll just be more of an OC than a fursona. A random note, since I enjoyed making a character based on a sexuality flag, I'm thinking of making adoptables soon based on gender/sexuality flags .u. If anyone has any animal suggestions then let me know (note that they'll cost points as I do not have PayPal).
2. Monday was my first day of my HND (Higher National Diploma) course at college and honestly I felt sleepy during the three days xD The days were ok and honestly I seemed a little pleased because I actually spoke a little more than usual when we were in groups, however isn't enough to "make friends". I ended up talking about how me and my friends (online and RL) would make random references from films, cartoons or things on Youtube xD Or sometimes saying that we're that character, for example Miguel is my friend having her dramatic moments xD *dramatic guitar intensifies*, the reason why this was brought up was because we had to pick directors for the project and I was wondering who directed "The Road to El Dorado" and someone in my group loved that movie xD And it started from there. I wish I could be a little more open like that xD It was more of a minor kind of chat but still, at least I didn't stay silent or say one or two words. Another thing I was pleased with was that I had a lot of ideas for one of the movies we picked despite that I never seen it XD But I did research and knew a couple of references from it (I don't fancy watching it because it's psychological horror ._.) I think the group did well though and had a lot of great ideas, plus I enjoyed their side of the work XD It looked more neat. So yeah, the 3 days weren't so bad, however life drawing is coming up x-x I don't mind drawing poses and stuff, but if someone is naked then I'd feel uncomfortable if I HAD to draw their private areas XD I'll need to force myself to draw this stuff because I think university expects people to at least draw life drawing and constructive drawing. Don't expect me to make these a commission choice though, I'm not leaning to the NSFW side XD I have heard that there is a replacement if people don't want to do life drawing but...I don't want that choice xD *forgot name but not interested anyway* I'm not saying that life drawing is a bad thing, I understand the purpose of it (anatomy.etc) and honestly I wouldn't be bothered if I drew them naked but without me having to draw their nips, v-jays, peen.etc. I know that I'm an "adult" now but still |D I'll do this for the course and helping me do anatomy of my own art (SFW) but I won't be into it.
3. Tomorrow I'll be going to the doctor's since the last appointment got cancelled. I feel nervous but I'll have someone with me .n.; I think this is probably the first time I've been to the doctor's without my parents but my sister will be with me, I'd freak out if I was on my own plus I'd be clueless despite the number of times I've been there in the past. I'll make another journal to say what my "conditions" are and stuff about it .3. I feel like I may be put on anti-depressants or something to help me, possibly counseling as well (if it doesn't affect my college days). It should be a good thing that I decided to go to the doctor's about my problems because if I didn't then I will get worse and it would affect me with careers, meetings or whatever in future. I just want this to go away and honestly I should have went a few years ago but my Mum felt like it was nothing serious and just a "teenage girl" thing (she never experienced what I experienced but my Dad has so he's more understanding right now and knows how serious it is, however the shyness thing I'm more worse than both my parents were according to both of them). I remember having very few suicidal thoughts in the past but I tried to ignore them and try think I'll make it in future somehow :/ However my current thoughts is somehow me thinking that I wouldn't have a long life, I don't know why but I feel like something bad will happen whether accident, health.etc. I'm not planning anything but these are just thoughts, especially after I feel down because of something. I'll get better now, doctors are there to help so let's hope whatever treatment I get works xwx
Thank you .u. And that's how people describe me both RL and online, one person described me as being like an innocent shy puppy who can be random at times xD