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burning out? :/
10 years ago
(depressing, don't read if your mood is easily ruined please)
For days I have been sitting on the same painting, unable to progress. I can't come up with an idea for a new YCH, even though I'm in huge need of some sort of income. And I just generally feel about art as if someone told me to build a house... it's impossible, I just can't do it. Even if I did countless paintings before I can't shake the feeling off that I can't do it anymore.
I never felt like this before, and I'm honestly clueless on what now.
Every single one of my days have been the same for almost 2 years now, and time is seemingly slipping away faster and faster. Months go by what I feel as a week and I can't grab control over it.
And i think i ran into a wall now.
And I try drawing, and i just draw and draw and hours pass and I somehow didn't progress at all.
My hands being super cold and numb for a week now doesn't help either.
Maybe I need some change in my life? I've never been in a time period before where everything was so monotone and every day was the same. Or maybe I just reached the limit of how much I can endure.
I earn more than before for sure (I have some expenses that zeroed me now, but speaking just generally, I do earn more). I progressed nicely with my arts, i was getting better with my skills, i have been freed from many stress. And yet i have the same dumping feeling as if this isn't going anywhere, I' m stuck and I can't do anything about it.
I was thinking on going to a psychologist, but I don't have that kind of money right now, not without halting my backlog to earn up for it, which i won't do.
It was also the first time for a long time i looked into a mirror... I purposefully avoided it since I completely neglected myself to progress with my work... and I honestly say I didn't recognize myself, and almost cried. I was in a degraded state before already, but now I just want to vomit. This is not me. And I'm just sick of all this.
-
Also, I have been pretty distant on Skype too, I'm sorry. I did not mean to disappear, I just always feel like it was yesterday I talked with anyone, and then I see it's been 2 weeks...
For days I have been sitting on the same painting, unable to progress. I can't come up with an idea for a new YCH, even though I'm in huge need of some sort of income. And I just generally feel about art as if someone told me to build a house... it's impossible, I just can't do it. Even if I did countless paintings before I can't shake the feeling off that I can't do it anymore.
I never felt like this before, and I'm honestly clueless on what now.
Every single one of my days have been the same for almost 2 years now, and time is seemingly slipping away faster and faster. Months go by what I feel as a week and I can't grab control over it.
And i think i ran into a wall now.
And I try drawing, and i just draw and draw and hours pass and I somehow didn't progress at all.
My hands being super cold and numb for a week now doesn't help either.
Maybe I need some change in my life? I've never been in a time period before where everything was so monotone and every day was the same. Or maybe I just reached the limit of how much I can endure.
I earn more than before for sure (I have some expenses that zeroed me now, but speaking just generally, I do earn more). I progressed nicely with my arts, i was getting better with my skills, i have been freed from many stress. And yet i have the same dumping feeling as if this isn't going anywhere, I' m stuck and I can't do anything about it.
I was thinking on going to a psychologist, but I don't have that kind of money right now, not without halting my backlog to earn up for it, which i won't do.
It was also the first time for a long time i looked into a mirror... I purposefully avoided it since I completely neglected myself to progress with my work... and I honestly say I didn't recognize myself, and almost cried. I was in a degraded state before already, but now I just want to vomit. This is not me. And I'm just sick of all this.
-
Also, I have been pretty distant on Skype too, I'm sorry. I did not mean to disappear, I just always feel like it was yesterday I talked with anyone, and then I see it's been 2 weeks...
might help if you dont think of art as work or maybe do something for your self that would make you feel good
you might just need a break
It's best to go out and do something, have a vacation, or hangout with friends for a while.
The mind becomes stale if stuck in the same series for too long,
and I lose the ability to spark anything new for the reason of having
not experienced anything new for months.
Creating art is like a pool of water that flows gently. If there is a
simple clog, than that entire pool stops flowing and turns green,
and new water can't flow.
it does sound like you're burning out a little :<
which... could be a good thing if you look at it from a different perspective.
usually these blocks are a sign that you hit a plateau. after that plateau, you might see yourself sore and excel in art like you never did before.
(this has happened to me several times.)
it's a good time to really evaluate what you like/don't like about your art, and others too. drawing completely different things or even rerouting your focus all together can help bring you out of these modes faster.
Otherwise, it is a waiting game - and taking care of yourself first and foremost is most important.
I do wish you all the luck! Take your time, please
i can try reevaluating, there isn't much else i can do anyway
and I'm 3 days behind :(
It sounds like you're drawing day after day without a break - I force myself to take a week off each quarter, in addition to being jealous of my weekend time.
I know real life people really helped me when I was in a huge funk.
As for the cold hands...that could be as simple as a vitamin or mineral deficiency, and that's a cheap fix!
Hope you feel better, take it easy!
I sometimes got that feeling, and doing something completely different eases it off. But i know that yours is a greater deal but don't worry.
Probably, maybe it's just me, but i think you would want to try a new style of art, changing the 70 30 rule probably, or even changing the program/tools that you draw with all along, that could be a refreshing thing since you'll have a lot to learn (and probably learning another style could improve your old one somehow).
Again, don't be that sad, i hope you feel better
PD: I can send you a note of two artworks from 2 artists explaining that rule way better
I would recommend looking for someone who works on a sliding scale payment system. You'd be surprised at how affordable some can be. Many of them know that sometimes those who need a helping hand the most can't afford some huge bill every month, week, what have you.
Other than that, I would suggest switching up your surroundings (even rearranging furniture oddly helps) and spending time with local friends/family. Just unplug for a while. Do what you need to feel better, because the most important person in one's life is truly oneself.
Are there any places nearby you can volunteer at, just once a week? It will get you out, you'll meet new people, experience new things, and as you'll be volunteering you'll be doing a good deed, which might help you justify the break! It's just an idea, it's helped me when I've been in a similar position, job hunting daily with no luck, and no money!
And perhaps taking up some simple physical exercise, even just a good half hour walk can clear the head, help with fitness levels, and get the mind whirring.
I really hope things improve for you, at least you have lots of people that care, says a lot about a person!