Some days I really hate being trans =( The realization that I really like (love) someone and he may not actually feel the same way about me... Even more so.. if i fully transition I'd lose him. Yeah... there are other fish in the sea, but I really care for him and my little family. Ive already lost my biological family to trans-phobia , racism and BS. He's stood by me for alot.. and is a great guy and father.

I really wish I could just wake up and not feel guilty for wanting to be male =( To wake up and just be the female he wants. I know this might not end well, and the thought of losing him kills my heart a bit. Why cant i just be normal? Why do i have these feelings? Why cant i just love being female?

I just want to curl up in a ball..