I have read your previous journals. I've been thru smiliar stuff, and i hope my words can bring some relief to your feelings.

Just 3 years ago I lost my mom. We were an inmigrant family without any conctact to our other relatives. The only family i got were my 2 brothers and my mom.
I've gotten about it because i realized things happen. They hurt, but there's nothing you can do about it but carry on. Never forget the good things you lived with your passed relatives. Hold their good memories as tight as you can, think they'd like to see you smiling and realizing your dreams.

One of my mates was trapped in a job she hated, where she was bullied daily and she made so little money she hadn't enough to eat sometimes.
We moved to live together and we have been echanging job time to time and managed money by saving for the times were we're jobless. If you don't like your job, you can try saving some money (say enough to survive untill you find another). My mate finded relief in her work by becoming friend with people with the same problems. You're not alone.

Life isn't easy. I'm in several legal issues and got very bit of money to live, still, i feel like i'm moving on with life, i left behind the sorrow i was feeling and now i can focus again on the good side of life.
Bad moments in life come and go as do the good moments. You'll eventually find again those good moments, don't desesperate if they don't come right the way. I hope they do soon *hugs* :3