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Wow: the Short Version
10 years ago
General
Things I've learned over the past decade:
Learning to love yourself takes time. Give it time.
When you need help, don't be afraid to ask for it.
You aren't a waste of space. You're not useless. You do possess good qualities. Let those good qualities be part of your self-image. You'll be amazed at how it changes you when you do.
It is not only possible to change yourself, it's totally worth the effort.
Being alone is okay. Being okay with being alone is okay. Loneliness sucks. You don't have to be alone.
You practice becoming the person you most want to be. It's an ongoing exercise in how to live. Don't look at it as a goal you'll meet some time down the line. Do what you can to be that person from one moment to the next. Pay attention to what you're doing right now.
Listening is way more important than talking.
Beauty is all around you. Try and find it. Try hardest when you're at your lowest. Beauty lifts you up.
So what do I want out of the dregs of this year and the one to come?
I want to see more of my friends.
I want to give back to the fandom that has given me so much.
I want to find out who Berb really is, and
I want to draw more porn.
There you have it. Break's over. *hugs*
Some time ago I read a blog post on your personal site where you talked about depression and how it affected your art. How you lost much of your drive to create because of it. This was quite some time ago, perhaps even years. So in light of this, it is extra nice to see you about again.
I wanted to e-mail your or something even back then, but I didn’t feel that a random message from a stranger would do much good - people have to work through this stuff by themselves, don’t they? Fuck that, from what I’ve seen of your personality online you always struck me as a very caring, sensitive and reflected individual. I don’t feel that I know you, but I figure you might be the kind of person who won’t scoff (too much) at well-meaning words from creepy strangers online. I’m just really glad you’re doing better, Berbalang!
(Also, I’m prolly just adding to the chorus here, but when are you gonna make an online art workshop? I live all the way in No Fun Land overseas, so as much as I’d like to see you speak about art live, it’s not very likely. I’d pay good money for such a thing to be a thing!)
First things first: never scoff at the impulses from your own heart when the impetus is one of empathy. Words from total strangers mean a very great deal when a body is feeling down. You're right, we all have to wrestle our own demons, but the words of support I receive from my friends makes a very big difference. And we're not strangers, you and I. We may not have had the chance to hang out, but I feel safe in saying we hold each other in mutual respect and admiration of the talents we possess, and maybe one of these days we will get to hang out and share a pitcher of beer (or a pot of tea). I would never scoff at an email out of the blue and I don't scoff at these words, either. On the contrary. Thank you. Thank you very, very much. You've done me great good.
As for workshops--funny you should ask! :D I'll be teaching a pair of week-long concept design world-building workshops around the end of March to the beginning of April (in my mundane incarnation, natch). I'll be teaching another month-long concept workshop during July. I don't know when I'll be able to get my classes on-line. That may take a bit. But I'm looking for ways to get my workshops into conventions here and overseas, so maybe we'll be able to meet Over There in the near future and turn No Fun Land into Tons of Fun Land! (I'm flattered as hell that you'd ask for this from me.)
We can also connect via Skype or some such, too.
On rare occasions I do take my vacations overseas. If you happen to stand in my way during my next US tour, I’d love to at least offer you some food or coffee, if a whole dang workshop is out of the question. Talking and hanging out with artists during my travels is truly the one thing that makes the money, time and energy I put into getting that far away from home worth every penny, and then some.
And yeah, should you ever get close to Europe with one of them workshops, I would do everything in my power to attend it. I’m not ready for Skype yet, haha :B
For positive waves and supportive vibes? Never! There is no such thing as late. ;)
Let me know when that US tour might happen and I'll do my best to be in the right place at the right time!
(Too shy for Skype, or not comfortable with talking to me yet? It's pure curiosity on my part, so you don't need to indulge me with an answer.)
By the By: I will hunt down your email addy and ping you. I have a few folks who need to see your art, folks in a position to offer paying work, if you're interested.
Will do! I don't thiiink
Sure thang! AFAIK I'm actually going to be available for paying work January to April next year. God.aften.venn[at]gmail.com
I used to love sending letters to people. I'd draw all over them and all over the envelopes. Nowadays I feel constant pressure to stay "up to date" on all of my correspondence and I never, ever seem able to keep up. So much for electronic media making communication "easier and more efficient".
There's beauty in inefficiency.
Rowkey is an awesomesauce artist creature! Gad, imagine what the two of you would create together. I want to see that.
There's a slim chance I may be over late next year (landing in Britain for an as-yet unknown amount of time. I'll let you know if that happens--maybe we can find a midpoint somewheres where we can meet.
Hmm.....I'll ping you about this. Just may have something for you.
When I was hiding for 8 years, I tried to be a part of other groups and fandoms, and I never felt the support or got the feedback on a level that even comes close.
I'm so happy you are back. I went to link to all the artwork of yours that I loved so dearly to show you what I loved about each one and how they inspired me or helped me draw, and I had to stop after opening 17 tabs. Your work has so much passion and is drenched in arousal. The connection through the eyes and body language speaks directly.
I wish you nothing but the best...always have, always will.
Gratefully,
Grrrwolf