FA+
Shop
Alive kind of.
10 years ago
Hey, guys. I've been AWOL for a couple of years now but I felt like checking in.
A lot's changed since I packed up and left. Working two jobs now near Pittsburgh, PA, and looking to move again soon in a year or two. Folks who remember me might remember I used to do acting a lot, and I still do, just in a different medium these days. Also taking care of a lot of medical problems I didn't realize I had for a -very- long time, and it's made changing the person I used to be a lot more simple.
Tau's gone, for good. He was a great character that I once enjoyed, but he's also reminder of a lot of really crappy things that happened back in the day. With all the changes I've been going through, I wanted a fresh but familiar start. Maybe I can be active here again one day, Idk.
And because it needs to be said: I'm aware I wasn't the greatest or nicest person around several years ago. I was kind of an enormous asshole. For what it's worth to anybody I offended or upset: I apologize. It may not mean much, or anything at all, but I genuinely hated who I was back then and I've been working extremely hard to turn over a new leaf. I've made some progress, but it's gonna take some time to fix all the problems I have. Realistically, all my issues likely won't be fixed. I'm still making the attempt though; whether you believe me or not is up to you I suppose.
Anyway, I'm done rambling. Hope you guys are doing well.
A lot's changed since I packed up and left. Working two jobs now near Pittsburgh, PA, and looking to move again soon in a year or two. Folks who remember me might remember I used to do acting a lot, and I still do, just in a different medium these days. Also taking care of a lot of medical problems I didn't realize I had for a -very- long time, and it's made changing the person I used to be a lot more simple.
Tau's gone, for good. He was a great character that I once enjoyed, but he's also reminder of a lot of really crappy things that happened back in the day. With all the changes I've been going through, I wanted a fresh but familiar start. Maybe I can be active here again one day, Idk.
And because it needs to be said: I'm aware I wasn't the greatest or nicest person around several years ago. I was kind of an enormous asshole. For what it's worth to anybody I offended or upset: I apologize. It may not mean much, or anything at all, but I genuinely hated who I was back then and I've been working extremely hard to turn over a new leaf. I've made some progress, but it's gonna take some time to fix all the problems I have. Realistically, all my issues likely won't be fixed. I'm still making the attempt though; whether you believe me or not is up to you I suppose.
Anyway, I'm done rambling. Hope you guys are doing well.
Listen, for what it's worth, I have learned three important things about life myself.
1: we all make mistakes and fools of ourselves. Regret shows we're human, and apologizing to specific people for a specific act is noble and good, but you should never appologize in general terms for who you are or were in general. To do so has a few unwanted effects. A: It feels disingenuous to anyone that was actually hurt by something you may have done, said, or caused. B: It actually undermines who you were and the journey you have taken to get here, and C: It muddies the waters that you are trying to make clean by bringing up the past. If you have peace to make and things to say, do so, but don't appologize for who you were, mate.
2: This is the internet. You are aloud to come and go as you please. No explanation needed. Welcome back XD With that said, remember that, if you left, there was a reason. That reason still exists. If you come back, remember that. Are you at peace with that reason? Because it likely hasn't changed, only ypour perception of it. Time heals nothing. You do. If you haven't, then things will likely go as before, so make sure you ahve faced what ever demons made you run in the first places and put them in their propper place.
3: I currently live with someone who has enormous interpersonal problems. With me, with other people, it's hard. Some days, I feel like it's too much and too engrained and he will never change. Most days though, what really bothers me is, he feels he never will and so is resigned to that fate. You say here you will likely never change really, even though you try. If you make it a massive ordeal, then yes, you won't. But if you take it one day, one hour, one minuet at a time, forgive yourself your stumbles, and remember to think of others often, then you will change what ever it is that is blocking your interpersonal experiences very quickly. When things go bad, we are, almost 99% of the time, thinking of ourselves first. When we are thinking primarilly of others though, things tend to be a lot brighter. That is not to say you should not take care of yourself or that you should be mister nice guy, but just be aware, always, of what emotions and egoes are floating around yoiu and whether yours are syncing with them or grinding up against them. It helps. trust me.
Cheers and welcome back to teh interwebs, mate.
I appreciate you taking the time to give me such good information, and I also appreciate the welcoming back! I had actually completely forgotten about that icon, so sorry for that. If you'd like I can pay you what I owed you for it; just let me know!