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Morning Silence
16 years ago
Really wish I knew what to do with myself. I just want out.
Much of the time I wonder if I'm just incapable of seeing my own flaws. It's really a self-conscious thing, I guess. Why am I so scared? Why is it so easy for someone to upset me?
Can't I be stronger than this? I want to feel happy and safe and stable again. I deserve that, I think.
Much of the time I wonder if I'm just incapable of seeing my own flaws. It's really a self-conscious thing, I guess. Why am I so scared? Why is it so easy for someone to upset me?
Can't I be stronger than this? I want to feel happy and safe and stable again. I deserve that, I think.
We have to hang out soon
I know things can be tough, but learning to mellow out, and stay calm during harder times is important, of course, I know that this is much easier said than done. But try and do all you can to relax some.
And Like Sterne, said... I'm open for hangin out a lot more with you, I really want to.
No one can always be strong.
But the last thing you need to do is worry about me. I will be fine.
You are going through the most difficult thing anyone can face. Not many people can understand the full weight of having a very ill parent, that coupled with a parent whom is also suffering in his own private hell makes it further unimaginable.
When I went through my father's illness, I had the blessing of a stable mother.
Give yourself some credit, Anu... You are being AMAZINGLY strong. ANYONE and EVERYONE would have the urge to want to escape. That is not a sign of weakness, it is a sign of humanity. You are human, alive, emotional, and I am proud of you for what you have done, even though you cannot see any accomplishment in where you are now.
Everyone needs to escape. Mine is to zone out into music and draw, which I think you can relate to. But when that doesn't work I read about the trials and tribulations of feral cats in a fantasy world.
You do it with your blades. :3 And paintballing. And all kinds of other awesomeness.
I am certain there is something you can to to give yourself a temporary escape. It is something we all need, and there is nothing wrong with that.
So take your MP3 player, throw on some headphones and go out back and paint that tree at the end of the yard. ;3
Anyway yeah, you really never cease to impress me. Thank you for taking time out to talk to me like this. You're having an equally hard time and it's really a powerful trait that you still have the energy to be there for your friends. I hope I can be there for you and all the others I love as much as you've been here for me. You're going to go to great heights.
Also, thanks Sterne and Vin <3 You guys are awesome and I want to see you again soon.