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Looking back on art...
10 years ago
In 2014, I produced 119 illustrations, a little more if you include some icons I made for Endless Realms...
78 Endless Realms images
34 freelance commissions
2 gifts
That leaves just 5 left over. I made 5 images that were just for fun, 5 images that weren't "work." They weren't much, but they include:
1 sketch for a portrait of Ash I never painted
1 chibi cartoon of a "pho lizard"
1 large cartoon for Halloween
2 portraits, one for Jayli and one for Luke
So... now it's 2015, and so far, I've done 111 illustrations, excluding the book buddies I just did for Endless Realms, along with a t-shirt project I was working on with growltiger. That's...
96 Endless Realms images
13 freelance commissions
2 gifts
No personal art this year.
...
Yeah, I thought that was pretty bad, too. To be fair, though, I had forgotten to count this picture of cartoon mini-foods I had started this year as something to try to relax with, but still. I thought 5 pieces of personal art over an entire year in which 2 of them took less than an hour was pretty bad, but this year was worse o_O
A little distressed, I mentioned it to my husband: part of the problem with doing so much artwork as the breadwinning job for the household is that, well, frankly, when I DO have time off, I don't really WANT to do art. But clearly, I WANT to want to, so he's given me an assignment, a "faux commission" if you will :b "Draw something with the following three things you like in it: something hunky, some kind of fantasy creature, and some sort of food."
It's funny, I was actually a bit bent out of shape about it at first. WHAT?! What kind of weird picture would that be?! Why can't I just do more art for my story since I haven't done any for over a year? THIS IS JUST MORE WORK >8E But then I chilled out and started thinking about it.
That's the trick, you know. That's how I manage to keep going doing commission artwork, constantly creating works for people of worlds that aren't mine, ideas that aren't mine, characters that aren't mine - you have to get passionate about what the idea has to offer, think about what makes the creator so excited and enamored with the idea that they want to pay to have art made of it. If you can empathize with the person, get inside their head and feel what they feel, then you can do it.
Except this time, it wasn't very hard, because the ideas were my own favourite things - I just had to come up with a way to combine them...
And I did. I'm even pretty excited about it! It's not done, but I don't care - at least I made something. I really just wanted to mention this, if only to myself as a recording of it actually happening, just in the off-chance it slips away into the graveyard of forgotten unfinished art. But if we're lucky, I'll manage to paint it some time this month :)
So sorry, guys. I probably could have taken the time to do more commission auction bids instead, but, well, I figured I owed myself at least one personal picture this year :V
78 Endless Realms images
34 freelance commissions
2 gifts
That leaves just 5 left over. I made 5 images that were just for fun, 5 images that weren't "work." They weren't much, but they include:
1 sketch for a portrait of Ash I never painted
1 chibi cartoon of a "pho lizard"
1 large cartoon for Halloween
2 portraits, one for Jayli and one for Luke
So... now it's 2015, and so far, I've done 111 illustrations, excluding the book buddies I just did for Endless Realms, along with a t-shirt project I was working on with growltiger. That's...
96 Endless Realms images
13 freelance commissions
2 gifts
No personal art this year.
...
Yeah, I thought that was pretty bad, too. To be fair, though, I had forgotten to count this picture of cartoon mini-foods I had started this year as something to try to relax with, but still. I thought 5 pieces of personal art over an entire year in which 2 of them took less than an hour was pretty bad, but this year was worse o_O
A little distressed, I mentioned it to my husband: part of the problem with doing so much artwork as the breadwinning job for the household is that, well, frankly, when I DO have time off, I don't really WANT to do art. But clearly, I WANT to want to, so he's given me an assignment, a "faux commission" if you will :b "Draw something with the following three things you like in it: something hunky, some kind of fantasy creature, and some sort of food."
It's funny, I was actually a bit bent out of shape about it at first. WHAT?! What kind of weird picture would that be?! Why can't I just do more art for my story since I haven't done any for over a year? THIS IS JUST MORE WORK >8E But then I chilled out and started thinking about it.
That's the trick, you know. That's how I manage to keep going doing commission artwork, constantly creating works for people of worlds that aren't mine, ideas that aren't mine, characters that aren't mine - you have to get passionate about what the idea has to offer, think about what makes the creator so excited and enamored with the idea that they want to pay to have art made of it. If you can empathize with the person, get inside their head and feel what they feel, then you can do it.
Except this time, it wasn't very hard, because the ideas were my own favourite things - I just had to come up with a way to combine them...
And I did. I'm even pretty excited about it! It's not done, but I don't care - at least I made something. I really just wanted to mention this, if only to myself as a recording of it actually happening, just in the off-chance it slips away into the graveyard of forgotten unfinished art. But if we're lucky, I'll manage to paint it some time this month :)
So sorry, guys. I probably could have taken the time to do more commission auction bids instead, but, well, I figured I owed myself at least one personal picture this year :V
Broccolitaur. Boom.
Good luck on your own wonderful piece! It's awesome to see what you come up with, work or fun, your pieces are always amazing!
Thank you kindly <3 I appreciate the encouragement!
TL;DR
BE mindful of what motivations you do have, and do not put yourself into burnout situations, like being under bad managers, or promising unattainable deadlines.
I can see what you mean about you losing your "escapist" reasoning, and having to find a new reason. I'm a bit the same way - I didn't get along well with my mother, and she has some medical conditions that make her... difficult, let's say. And I was in a bit of a loveless relationship for a few years, as well, so I'd draw a lot as escapism, too. Then when I moved out and found my new boyfriend (now husband) and then also started working fulltime freelance... I sorta stopped drawing for myself, a combo of "lack of escapism need" as well as just general feeling too tired/drained to want to do more art after I'm done work.
Anyway, sorry to hear it was so rough for so long - hopefully it's something that's made you a stronger, wiser person in the end :)