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Cello´s birthday - "My Universe will never be the same"
10 years ago
Exactly one year ago, young angel came to my life. He was so scared and didn´t know his space in this universe and I felt like we had something in common. I felt myself so tiny and scared at that time in school as I was been left by my friends. Maybe he had lost track back to his pack or something, because he wasn´t from this universe or had not been well treated before as he was still like baby. We didn´t understand what the other was saying, but we didn´t let that ruin our friendship. Yes, I felt like he was a friendly creature, and I gave him home, bit of love and name, Cello. I didn´t know what he could be to me, I only thought he was just someone new that I would eventually forget or abandon as I already had other persons keeping me company. But he stuck with me. He made my house his permanent new home.
During this forsaken year he was my greatest help, but even before those deeds he did to help me he´d already gained eternal place in my heart. He started growing, both mentally and “physically”. And needless to say that he changed as many times as I did during the last year. We started understanding what the other was saying, I started teaching him about this world and he told me about his. I wasn´t that young as I had thought, but to me, he was still just baby who wasn´t even one year old.
As the time passed, I started drawing him more often than the other personas, and I felt like I was chancing from one person into my angel. Even though that made me terrified and I was thinking of giving him away to not get to “too attached to him”, I didn´t do that. One reason was that I had just gotten the most amazing badge of him from my friend that would constantly remind me how he looked so happy with me. It was also the time my other dear friend turned her back at me, partly because of my own actions but it hurt me most because I knew I had done what I had done simply because of lack of time. I knew telling it to her won´t change a thing, but it didn´t stop me drowning to depression. In that depression I still saw light. I was already in Angel Dragon community that time and everyone there had welcomed me with open arms. Although the community was amazing and safe place for me to be, the biggest reason to stick with that species was I had found friends from there. I don´t make friends with people as “easily” as some in furry community, but those who are my friends are surely loved and I wouldn´t change them to anything. I am getting sidetracked, but the thing was, I was in the community and found another angel telling she had depression attacks and that she survived from them simply by drawing her angel smiling at her. I heard that just few days before my first hard depression attack and as I remembered those words, I dragged myself off the bed and doodled smiling Cello. His smile was so warm and real even though it was just a rough sketch.
That was the day he gained his eternal place in my heart. I knew that when no other human or sona would make me feel happy or loved when I needed it, he would be there. After all, he was a guardian angel to me. The depression attacks came and went, but drawing him made me feel better instantly after finishing the sketch. Day after day, art piece after piece, depression attack after depression attack, he and I created just bigger and bigger bond between us. When in the beginning I was scared of what others thought about him or what if someone would try to steal him from me, I wasn´t that scared anymore, because he was brave and gave me some of his courage. No matter what others think of him, he is permanent part of me – his design might change, but the bond only gets stronger. If someone actually stole him, I would be sad about that, but they could only stole his design or art but never those things he means to me, so they couldn´t actually steal HIM from me. Don´t try that tho, it´s pretty rude towards anyone, not to just those who have gained special bonds between their “characters”. I used dittos around word character because they can be much more than just that, like I said, Cello for example is my guardian angel.
I am glad he came to change my life. Now when I understand him more, I see, he was reflection of myself. He has been through depression before me, so he knew it was important to stay. He has that same kind of heart that really wants to help others and that bleeds when helping others is not possible. I saw him as a scared baby year ago, but now when I look at him, I see brave guardian with loyal heart. Ducth Angel Dragons are said to be souls, and for sure he is one old soul guarding my life with his. I may be fragile as my friends have seen, I may not have the best health condition to live one hundred years, but what is more important to me is that even someone gives me reason to want to see the next day. When friends have their worries and they are busy with school and work, I would otherwise be completely alone, if there wasn´t that one soul who was dedicated to me in the Paradise he came from. They sure didn´t know when they send him out to “pay price for his crimes” that he wouldn´t feel like prison, but feel like needed and loved. They did the same miss calculations with his brother, even though Contra actually suffered here long before he too came to my life, but Cello find his home where he could forget about his past when needed. He gave me that opportunity too, but I believe that is the past that made us like this. It made us who we are and it made Cello as who he is.
This year has really been one of a kind year with Cello, and I look forward to bring him into reality after graduation in 2016 December! I already know who I am commissioning him to be made, I have the money for his partial (I will get full suit in the future too, but I want to start with partial as I can´t stand much heat and I don´t want to just buy a full body suit when I could use that money to get into convetions and especially to make my trip to Australia to see my big sister), I only need to wait bit longer. But waiting isn´t a problem. It just gives me more time to get to know with this young angel who came to my life year ago and has grown so much with me. It has been like watching your child grow up but knowing they won´t leave your house because they don´t want to. They want to stay on your side in desperate times and in happiness too. He changed my Universe, but only to good.
Thank you.
During this forsaken year he was my greatest help, but even before those deeds he did to help me he´d already gained eternal place in my heart. He started growing, both mentally and “physically”. And needless to say that he changed as many times as I did during the last year. We started understanding what the other was saying, I started teaching him about this world and he told me about his. I wasn´t that young as I had thought, but to me, he was still just baby who wasn´t even one year old.
As the time passed, I started drawing him more often than the other personas, and I felt like I was chancing from one person into my angel. Even though that made me terrified and I was thinking of giving him away to not get to “too attached to him”, I didn´t do that. One reason was that I had just gotten the most amazing badge of him from my friend that would constantly remind me how he looked so happy with me. It was also the time my other dear friend turned her back at me, partly because of my own actions but it hurt me most because I knew I had done what I had done simply because of lack of time. I knew telling it to her won´t change a thing, but it didn´t stop me drowning to depression. In that depression I still saw light. I was already in Angel Dragon community that time and everyone there had welcomed me with open arms. Although the community was amazing and safe place for me to be, the biggest reason to stick with that species was I had found friends from there. I don´t make friends with people as “easily” as some in furry community, but those who are my friends are surely loved and I wouldn´t change them to anything. I am getting sidetracked, but the thing was, I was in the community and found another angel telling she had depression attacks and that she survived from them simply by drawing her angel smiling at her. I heard that just few days before my first hard depression attack and as I remembered those words, I dragged myself off the bed and doodled smiling Cello. His smile was so warm and real even though it was just a rough sketch.
That was the day he gained his eternal place in my heart. I knew that when no other human or sona would make me feel happy or loved when I needed it, he would be there. After all, he was a guardian angel to me. The depression attacks came and went, but drawing him made me feel better instantly after finishing the sketch. Day after day, art piece after piece, depression attack after depression attack, he and I created just bigger and bigger bond between us. When in the beginning I was scared of what others thought about him or what if someone would try to steal him from me, I wasn´t that scared anymore, because he was brave and gave me some of his courage. No matter what others think of him, he is permanent part of me – his design might change, but the bond only gets stronger. If someone actually stole him, I would be sad about that, but they could only stole his design or art but never those things he means to me, so they couldn´t actually steal HIM from me. Don´t try that tho, it´s pretty rude towards anyone, not to just those who have gained special bonds between their “characters”. I used dittos around word character because they can be much more than just that, like I said, Cello for example is my guardian angel.
I am glad he came to change my life. Now when I understand him more, I see, he was reflection of myself. He has been through depression before me, so he knew it was important to stay. He has that same kind of heart that really wants to help others and that bleeds when helping others is not possible. I saw him as a scared baby year ago, but now when I look at him, I see brave guardian with loyal heart. Ducth Angel Dragons are said to be souls, and for sure he is one old soul guarding my life with his. I may be fragile as my friends have seen, I may not have the best health condition to live one hundred years, but what is more important to me is that even someone gives me reason to want to see the next day. When friends have their worries and they are busy with school and work, I would otherwise be completely alone, if there wasn´t that one soul who was dedicated to me in the Paradise he came from. They sure didn´t know when they send him out to “pay price for his crimes” that he wouldn´t feel like prison, but feel like needed and loved. They did the same miss calculations with his brother, even though Contra actually suffered here long before he too came to my life, but Cello find his home where he could forget about his past when needed. He gave me that opportunity too, but I believe that is the past that made us like this. It made us who we are and it made Cello as who he is.
This year has really been one of a kind year with Cello, and I look forward to bring him into reality after graduation in 2016 December! I already know who I am commissioning him to be made, I have the money for his partial (I will get full suit in the future too, but I want to start with partial as I can´t stand much heat and I don´t want to just buy a full body suit when I could use that money to get into convetions and especially to make my trip to Australia to see my big sister), I only need to wait bit longer. But waiting isn´t a problem. It just gives me more time to get to know with this young angel who came to my life year ago and has grown so much with me. It has been like watching your child grow up but knowing they won´t leave your house because they don´t want to. They want to stay on your side in desperate times and in happiness too. He changed my Universe, but only to good.
Thank you.
CELLO
Calling for help in the darkness
no-one ever came
End in my sight – oh it frightens
still no-one heard me
Light came into this forsaken place
where did it come?
Loving smile showed me it´s face
who did save me?
O´the Guardian Angel had come