Dear year 2015
10 years ago
This dragon doesn't bite, it just noms on your ear to get your attention. Dear year 2015,
You've been a positive year. At least partially. On the professional side, everything went fairly well : I'm now done with school, and I passed my last diploma getting the best grades, and getting the rank of "Major of promotion". This last year of school ended with an internship which in the end turned out into a summer job, and now into a full time contract. For helping me to get a job I love, thank you.
On the family side, the end of the year was difficult, with the loss of my grandfather in November. It was difficult to deal with that, but the arrival of my very first nephew last week brought a positive touch to the end of this year.
But overall, one thing wasn't good. It was my fault, not anyone else.This year, I managed to destroy a lot of my friendships. I don't know why, and I'm not proud of that. I went through different up and down periods. I guess being alone most of the year didn’t help. I tried to organise some furmeets which didn’t happen, I tried to keep in touch with furs, but I sucked at it. In the end I was getting more and more alone, and I was only giving a more and more bad image of myself to the fandom. I don’t know how to deal with my current situation, and my social frustration… or anxiety, or both, make me act in the most weirdest ways when talking to people.
By the end of the year, I was barely talking to anyone. No one talks to me and I don’t talk too : I just have nothing interesting to say, and I definitely forgot just « how to social ». I’m not sure anymore about what to do, just give up, or keep trying… I’m in a such situation where I wonder if I’m still worth something on social networks and furmeets or conventions.
Talking about that, it was another frustration. This year, I only attended two fur events : Lyon’s Furmeet, and Eurofurence 21. I succeeded to fuck up the first one by being alone in this meet and by doing… stupid things a few weeks before, but at least I had a decent Eurofurence. I met awesome furs there.
There were also some other frustrations. Like a furmeet happening around where I live but where I was not invited. I also met a nice fur, with who I was really close, and who was living near me. I was having some hope that something would happen for us, but he found someone else who fits him better.
A few peeps were there for me. Even if I managed to make them some give up on me. And for, that I feel really bad… I had some opportunities to build strong friendships and I fucked up. I realised it like a few weeks ago. Then I tried to do my best for the few who remained there.
I want 2016 to be a good year. On the professional side, nothing much to worry it seems ; on the social and furry side, I want to make things improve. I want to change myself. I know I’ve said it before, and I probably went too far into my mistakes ; but again, sorry if I hurt you.
Draky, thank you for being there for me. You’re probably my best friend, and I honestly didn’t expect you to care that much about me.
Jeick, you know how I feel for you, but I want you to know that whatever you do, it will always be fine for me. You chose someone else, and I respect that. At least thank you for not forgetting me and pushing me aside.
Spyrawr, or Dragou. We had a really close friendship. I’m sorry I messed up things. You tried to show me the way, but I was blind to the obviousness that you just wanted to help me.
Kerubia, thanks for being here with me at Eurofurence. It was nice getting to know you better, and spending some playful time with you. I don’t regret anything.
Brek, such a cute wolf. You’re also a special friend who’s also here for me, and I thank you for that.
Also, thanks to these furs who brightened my year :
Edelweiss, Taibron
KKeyron, Dracus
Koni, Brek, Saphiros, Greeny
Kia, Acari
Semmy, Léoniene
Etath, Pattarchus
Softwolfi, Plush-Doggy, Vergil
Seti, Rakurim, Akeban
You've been a positive year. At least partially. On the professional side, everything went fairly well : I'm now done with school, and I passed my last diploma getting the best grades, and getting the rank of "Major of promotion". This last year of school ended with an internship which in the end turned out into a summer job, and now into a full time contract. For helping me to get a job I love, thank you.
On the family side, the end of the year was difficult, with the loss of my grandfather in November. It was difficult to deal with that, but the arrival of my very first nephew last week brought a positive touch to the end of this year.
But overall, one thing wasn't good. It was my fault, not anyone else.This year, I managed to destroy a lot of my friendships. I don't know why, and I'm not proud of that. I went through different up and down periods. I guess being alone most of the year didn’t help. I tried to organise some furmeets which didn’t happen, I tried to keep in touch with furs, but I sucked at it. In the end I was getting more and more alone, and I was only giving a more and more bad image of myself to the fandom. I don’t know how to deal with my current situation, and my social frustration… or anxiety, or both, make me act in the most weirdest ways when talking to people.
By the end of the year, I was barely talking to anyone. No one talks to me and I don’t talk too : I just have nothing interesting to say, and I definitely forgot just « how to social ». I’m not sure anymore about what to do, just give up, or keep trying… I’m in a such situation where I wonder if I’m still worth something on social networks and furmeets or conventions.
Talking about that, it was another frustration. This year, I only attended two fur events : Lyon’s Furmeet, and Eurofurence 21. I succeeded to fuck up the first one by being alone in this meet and by doing… stupid things a few weeks before, but at least I had a decent Eurofurence. I met awesome furs there.
There were also some other frustrations. Like a furmeet happening around where I live but where I was not invited. I also met a nice fur, with who I was really close, and who was living near me. I was having some hope that something would happen for us, but he found someone else who fits him better.
A few peeps were there for me. Even if I managed to make them some give up on me. And for, that I feel really bad… I had some opportunities to build strong friendships and I fucked up. I realised it like a few weeks ago. Then I tried to do my best for the few who remained there.
I want 2016 to be a good year. On the professional side, nothing much to worry it seems ; on the social and furry side, I want to make things improve. I want to change myself. I know I’ve said it before, and I probably went too far into my mistakes ; but again, sorry if I hurt you.
Draky, thank you for being there for me. You’re probably my best friend, and I honestly didn’t expect you to care that much about me.
Jeick, you know how I feel for you, but I want you to know that whatever you do, it will always be fine for me. You chose someone else, and I respect that. At least thank you for not forgetting me and pushing me aside.
Spyrawr, or Dragou. We had a really close friendship. I’m sorry I messed up things. You tried to show me the way, but I was blind to the obviousness that you just wanted to help me.
Kerubia, thanks for being here with me at Eurofurence. It was nice getting to know you better, and spending some playful time with you. I don’t regret anything.
Brek, such a cute wolf. You’re also a special friend who’s also here for me, and I thank you for that.
Also, thanks to these furs who brightened my year :
Edelweiss, Taibron
KKeyron, Dracus
Koni, Brek, Saphiros, Greeny
Kia, Acari
Semmy, Léoniene
Etath, Pattarchus
Softwolfi, Plush-Doggy, Vergil
Seti, Rakurim, Akeban
FA+

Also, I am sorry for not talking to you in a long while. *blushes a bit* Hope to be able to chat with you in the coming year more often, buddy.
I would like to hug you absolutely again. I love this red dragon. <3
I don't really think this has a point anymore.