Ok. So yes I'm still here. Over the past several months, my overall health, both physical and emotional has gone slightly downhill. Specifically, the medications that help control my depression and anxiety have started to affect both my moods and my ability to sleep in negative ways. I have had no choice but to change meds and am trying to get back on more stable emotional footing. Although lately, my moods are about as stable as a house cheaply built on an active fault line.

I've returned to college and thanks to my recent downward emotional spiral, I wound up failing two of the 4 classes I was registered for. I'm trying to negotiate something with the college, but have no idea if things will change for the better.

I've become a hermit. I spend most of my day inside, either in my room on my tablet or netbook, or in my living room playing video games. I have no motivation to look for employment, as I've given up right now on any possibility of employment. I've been practically rejected from the retail industry saying I'm "overqualified" and "won't remain loyal." On one such interview that I went on, the manager actually told me to my face "I invest a lot of time and money training people. You seem like somebody who is going to find something better the first chance he gets." I replied, "Right now, I can't get a job in the industry I want due to the fact I need more education, which I'm currently pursuing. This means, until I have a Bachelor's degree, which will take approximately 2-4 years, I WILL be available. I do not have plans on going anywhere." Sadly, I did not get the job. Even recruiters in the IT industry where I have experience are telling me that the lack of at least an Associates degree in Information Systems or COmputer Science is what is killing me.

I fucking give up. Forget working. I want to go to school full-time and get this shit done.

Now onto an announcement:
One of my online personas, DJ Ursa who produces "Musical Cuisenart" has decided to kind of take over my brain for a while. I've been inspired to write little short stories inspired by music in my collection. Not only am I including the artist and title, but lyrics to the song are also included.

Called Musical Tales, they will be posted both here and on my site, DJ Ursa. I will try to post 1-2 per month, but will depend on life and simply how I am doing emotionally. The premiere entry was inspired by a group called Parachute out of Charlottesville, Virginia and their song "Something To Believe In." I hope to have it up in the next few days.



Thanks to some inspiration by  seht and after talking with  drakkon, I'm undertaking a little programming project that involves turning a board game into something playable on a computer. Debating on whether will be a text-only adventure or something more sophistacated