I usually don't post much here but there have been somethings that have haunted me since I first arrived here. I guess to start out with some good news is that I'm just months away from graduation , I currently have a job that pays well enough in terms of where I am and I've been making a lot of friends on FA recently. When i joined on years ago I didn't really know what to expect out of this place and a long story short is that I've been enjoying my experience for the most part. (Well I haven't dived too deep into the madness depths here but snorkeling in it is fine enough :3 )

But now that I'm almost about ready to go off on my own I just realize…I have absolutely no idea what I want to or basically what I want out of life. My parents have been an example of people who went into a place with a firm idea of what they want to do while I am just…stuck…Right now I'm afraid i've taken a major that i have no passion in and the only openings are in the cities (which I fear to live in because of crime, traffic, and many other things) Its like part of me wants to expand outward into the unknown but I'm really just a coward afraid to get hurt more. I've been abused in workplaces and school, ironically my parents have been the best people in my life while the peers i live near as well as authority figures are the ones who have abused me. And relying so much on your parents especially being so old looks pathetic. I'm worried I'm making my parents look bad in front of their own peers like they didn't raise me right (which they have, they are good people). They tell me they don't mind me living with them after college but I feel like I should and once again we come to the circle of where do i go? What job could I get that doesn't put me completely out of my comfort zone.

I'm probably sounding like a coward right now. I know this is pretty much nothing compared to what others have gone through here. I just wanted to write this to get some things off of my mind.