FA+
Shop
Life Update
10 years ago
Hey everyone.
I know I haven't been around much, streaming, working, ect. And when I have been around everything seems to be well. But I decided that I needed to write a bit, because it's cathartic, and because I knew you guys would appreciate a bit of an explanation on where I've been and why.
For those who are aware, my husband and I have been trying to get pregnant, in August 2015 I got the news I was five weeks pregnant. I was thrilled, as was my husband. Two weeks later I was in the hospital from distress, tests were run and my hormones weren't rising as they should. By eight weeks it was confirmed that I had lost the pregnancy. Lucky for me, it was so early that there was very little risk to myself and the only difference in my every day life had been a rise in hormones. Or so I thought.
Six months later, I'm forced to admit that I'm still devastated. Shortly after it happened, my husband had to leave for Louisiana, so I've been on and off on my own for the last six months. When he has been home it's only been for two weeks at a time. In the first week of January he left until March. Which has left me on my own for two months. I've recognized in myself the ache of depression, and the complete listlessness that comes from that.
Luckily, I have very understanding friends, and an incredibly understanding boss. Beyond light teasing, Fenoxo has been great about letting me work at my own pace. It's really helped. I've been struggling to want to get up and work, and do anything remotely related to getting out there. In the face of others, and in social situations I can smile, laugh and everything is fine. But the moment I am alone, or the moment my distractions have faded I'm faced with this consuming sorrow once more.
The last few weeks I've been looking into finding someone to talk to, someone to help. But as of yet I've not found a therapist to my liking, so my search continues.
Beyond the terrible news above, I've actually been doing fairly okay. I've had a few hiccups where I got sick, but other than that the weather hasn't killed me yet and I've been slowly getting my life in order. I've recognized things in the coming year that I need to fix, need to sort out and things I need to increase my productivity and happiness as a person.
One of the things we got that has helped me with my every day happiness is a beautiful little cat named Kit. He's one year old this month, and we've had him since mid-December. He was an early Christmas present from my husband. I adore him. He's a long haired flame point Siamese, and he runs the house. *Chuckles.*
Well... That's all really. Thanks for reading if you've stuck it out so long. You guys are the reason I strive so hard!
I know I haven't been around much, streaming, working, ect. And when I have been around everything seems to be well. But I decided that I needed to write a bit, because it's cathartic, and because I knew you guys would appreciate a bit of an explanation on where I've been and why.
For those who are aware, my husband and I have been trying to get pregnant, in August 2015 I got the news I was five weeks pregnant. I was thrilled, as was my husband. Two weeks later I was in the hospital from distress, tests were run and my hormones weren't rising as they should. By eight weeks it was confirmed that I had lost the pregnancy. Lucky for me, it was so early that there was very little risk to myself and the only difference in my every day life had been a rise in hormones. Or so I thought.
Six months later, I'm forced to admit that I'm still devastated. Shortly after it happened, my husband had to leave for Louisiana, so I've been on and off on my own for the last six months. When he has been home it's only been for two weeks at a time. In the first week of January he left until March. Which has left me on my own for two months. I've recognized in myself the ache of depression, and the complete listlessness that comes from that.
Luckily, I have very understanding friends, and an incredibly understanding boss. Beyond light teasing, Fenoxo has been great about letting me work at my own pace. It's really helped. I've been struggling to want to get up and work, and do anything remotely related to getting out there. In the face of others, and in social situations I can smile, laugh and everything is fine. But the moment I am alone, or the moment my distractions have faded I'm faced with this consuming sorrow once more.
The last few weeks I've been looking into finding someone to talk to, someone to help. But as of yet I've not found a therapist to my liking, so my search continues.
Beyond the terrible news above, I've actually been doing fairly okay. I've had a few hiccups where I got sick, but other than that the weather hasn't killed me yet and I've been slowly getting my life in order. I've recognized things in the coming year that I need to fix, need to sort out and things I need to increase my productivity and happiness as a person.
One of the things we got that has helped me with my every day happiness is a beautiful little cat named Kit. He's one year old this month, and we've had him since mid-December. He was an early Christmas present from my husband. I adore him. He's a long haired flame point Siamese, and he runs the house. *Chuckles.*
Well... That's all really. Thanks for reading if you've stuck it out so long. You guys are the reason I strive so hard!
Hope to stop by again soon and best wishes,
Shades 42