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Hello folks!
7 years ago
How ya doing folks? Well, I hope. I'm recovering from everything that I've dealt with these past two years. Those who follow me or see me live streaming end up missing a lot of the emotional difficulties I have. Hell, a lot of my good friends aren't aware of the struggles I go through because I make a huge effort to keep things quiet. But I'll tell you guys what's been happening and give you a bit up to date on my life.
Three years ago my grandmother - my guardian my whole life - passed away because of an advanced staph infection due to complications from a poorly healed injury from a car wreck eleven years previous. A month after I returned home, I discovered I was pregnant. Six weeks later I miscarried. Depression ate me up inside, and I struggled really hard to manage anything. It took me almost two years to get to a place where I was 'stable' again and I wasn't tortured by my friend's announcements of babies, or pregnancies.
I still really struggle when I see the announcements. Especially because I had another miscarriage not too long ago. It hurts - it's hard. And it's made my entire life twist upside down and right side up. I'm an introverted person and I managed to barely hold myself together.
On the plus side, I'm coping well and getting my life back in order. I've taken fresh commissions (for anyone who is waiting on one from during my troubled times in my life, I am *so* sorry, and I will get in touch with you to determine if you still want that, or if you want a refund. In moving computers and switching things around I lost a lot of files and access to things, but I'm going through older PayPal records to hunt everyone down.)
Commissions that I've taken will be done in no particular order but will be posted here soon. If you've applied for a commission but haven't been invoiced, I just haven't gotten to you yet. Please be patient with me! I'll be away at MEPACon this weekend playing tabletop games and getting some much-needed support from my friends in real life. Look for the journal after this one to mention who is on my commission list.
Three years ago my grandmother - my guardian my whole life - passed away because of an advanced staph infection due to complications from a poorly healed injury from a car wreck eleven years previous. A month after I returned home, I discovered I was pregnant. Six weeks later I miscarried. Depression ate me up inside, and I struggled really hard to manage anything. It took me almost two years to get to a place where I was 'stable' again and I wasn't tortured by my friend's announcements of babies, or pregnancies.
I still really struggle when I see the announcements. Especially because I had another miscarriage not too long ago. It hurts - it's hard. And it's made my entire life twist upside down and right side up. I'm an introverted person and I managed to barely hold myself together.
On the plus side, I'm coping well and getting my life back in order. I've taken fresh commissions (for anyone who is waiting on one from during my troubled times in my life, I am *so* sorry, and I will get in touch with you to determine if you still want that, or if you want a refund. In moving computers and switching things around I lost a lot of files and access to things, but I'm going through older PayPal records to hunt everyone down.)
Commissions that I've taken will be done in no particular order but will be posted here soon. If you've applied for a commission but haven't been invoiced, I just haven't gotten to you yet. Please be patient with me! I'll be away at MEPACon this weekend playing tabletop games and getting some much-needed support from my friends in real life. Look for the journal after this one to mention who is on my commission list.
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~ccczzz
Real talk - I'm so sorry for your losses. Miscarriage is something we went through at home in the past as well, and it's an incredible emotional and physical toll. Glad to see you're getting back up on your feet. Sending you much love!
