Part of me wants to be something more. Something better. But that's not me.

I want to make you as happy as can be but that's not me. I try and try and try but then level of happiness you need is never the amount I can give you. The best I can do is keep your happy until that one shows up and does what I can't. As selfish as it is I don't want that other person to come along but they always do then after a while I am not needed anymore. I wanna be the one. But I am always number two or three. I'm accepting my role and being the guy who assists the one. But that doesn't make it hurt less. I will live I guess, it won't be a happy life but i will live.

And as far as I know I am doing the same to someone else which makes me hate myself more then I already do. So I can understand why it happens. Some people no matter how hard you try won't love you the way you want them to. I hate being a complicated asshole. But that's who I am. no matter how hard I try to change I never make any progress or becomes a better man. But i live with the pain. but one some nights it's too much to bear.

...I know I'm not good enough... Just wish I was..