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My mood is fucking obliterated.
9 years ago
Today started off so good. Woke up. Had some sexy times. Checked the news and had a somewhat interesting discussion on some scientific topics and the Bill O' Reilly headline. Had some breakfast. Then Snare (boyfriend) proclaims it, "Hat Day," and slips on a tuque out of nowhere. Super fun, so I go find my Fiona hat (the one from Adventure time with the rabbit ears) and slip that on.
What follows is purely drama. It may also make me look like an awful person. Normally I despise it myself but I'm about ready to tear my hair out and at this point it's therapeutic. You have been warned.
Go outside and Roomate A asks, "Hey, Snare, can you make me a smoke?" Hookah is not something I'm really in the habit of doing at like 4 AM. So he says no. "Then Cora, maybe you can make me a smoke then." Again, I politely decline. He then lets out an extremely childish groan that lasts for almost three seconds. He is a fully grown adult, holds a full time job, and is otherwise responsible. So, being that I know this isn't really a habit and he must be in an awful mood, I just do it. He asks about the hat.
After telling him about the hat, he shows up about 30 minutes later practically cosplaying. Another winter hat. Steampunk goggles with green lenses on over that. A spraypainted nerf gun. A pocketwatch. A whiskey flask. A pirate shirt. A pocket full of weird steampunk junk for no apparent reason. Antique keys, and a metal cigarette case among them. I really don't know how to describe my reaction other than, "Pretend someone showed up to your adult themed party in BDSM gear." It's just awkward. Why are you trying to outdo it? Just let it be Hat Day, right? I probably would have thought it was cool if I hadn't seen all this stuff already. His passion for steampunk is well known. But he talks my ear off anyway about it all for almost an hour.
On chat now, just trying to relax. Snare's ex shows up. Even though by rights I should hate them purely by dint of them being Snare's ex, I normally find them so pathetic that hate always feels so bad I can't sustain it for more than a day. 26 and never had a job. A weird bodied bloviator who somehow manages to be both transgendered and transphobic at the same time, who frequently outs all of their friends on Facebook without asking. A person who's idea of an apology is always, "I'm sorry you feel that way," and who never finishes anything they start. Ever.
They're asking what I think of their computer build. A whole list of parts. So, before I could afford to do art for a living, this was my job, right? I'm a tech nerd. So I do the usual things. You know, your CPU is bottlenecked by your GPU unless you're doing video rendering. Save $80 here. Upgrade your L3 cache there. Why are you using AM3 socket? Then I find out this is not a build, but about replacement parts. So half of my advice is now obsolete! Frustrating, right? But they can't even pay for it. When they're done, they start e-begging to pay for it! And now I feel like I'm part of it because I was just helping. Then they post the GoFundMe (which is now CLEARLY outside their TOS and a really scummy thing to do) to Facebook and into chat and tag me.
Now I'm really stressed and we try and watch a movie. Nope. That gets interrupted by Roommate A. Twice. At the climax of the film. Maybe some coffee? Nope. Out of sugar. Maybe we should RP? Nah, I can't. I'm frustrated now and nothing sounds fun. "But I'm bored." Well now I feel frustrated and guilty. How about lunch? Nope. They can't find my house and never show up. Eventually call to find out what happens after I'm suitably starving and the order was cancelled. Go out? I'm angry during Hat Day. I either take off the hat and end the ONE GOOD THING about today or go out looking like a cranky old woman in a rabbit hat. So I just stay home. Maybe buy a new video game for Snare to play? No. The shady company he bought the key from wanted photo ID to confirm the purchase and neither one of us were comfortable with that. Go through that whole customer support nightmare. Speaking of nightmares, try to take a nap because fuck like, HAVE a nightmare.
Wake up. Sit here. In this chair. Roommate B comes in and asks for money. Now. Understand that Roommate B has not paid rent in almost 3 months. Roommate B lost her foodstamp card only 4 days ago. I gave Roommate B $20 so they don't stave while they get a new card. They spend it on soda and toiletries. Roommate B then stole $15 in change from my change jar and bought pizzas and who knows what else with it. Roommate B then asked me for more money 2 days later. I only had $8 on me. Now Roommate B is in my office for the 3rd time asking (but 4th time taking) money from me over the course of 4 days. For the same reason. Food. Now I give her an additional $10, bringing the total cost of food for her in 4 days to $53. I have it out with her, and she says she's sorry, but at this point fuck her.
Fuck everything today. I am a mean, selfish person right now. My teeth are fucking bared. Still, I really tried to warm up for a stream today. Couldn't. I'm staring at angry scribbles right now and I just... can't.
What follows is purely drama. It may also make me look like an awful person. Normally I despise it myself but I'm about ready to tear my hair out and at this point it's therapeutic. You have been warned.
Go outside and Roomate A asks, "Hey, Snare, can you make me a smoke?" Hookah is not something I'm really in the habit of doing at like 4 AM. So he says no. "Then Cora, maybe you can make me a smoke then." Again, I politely decline. He then lets out an extremely childish groan that lasts for almost three seconds. He is a fully grown adult, holds a full time job, and is otherwise responsible. So, being that I know this isn't really a habit and he must be in an awful mood, I just do it. He asks about the hat.
After telling him about the hat, he shows up about 30 minutes later practically cosplaying. Another winter hat. Steampunk goggles with green lenses on over that. A spraypainted nerf gun. A pocketwatch. A whiskey flask. A pirate shirt. A pocket full of weird steampunk junk for no apparent reason. Antique keys, and a metal cigarette case among them. I really don't know how to describe my reaction other than, "Pretend someone showed up to your adult themed party in BDSM gear." It's just awkward. Why are you trying to outdo it? Just let it be Hat Day, right? I probably would have thought it was cool if I hadn't seen all this stuff already. His passion for steampunk is well known. But he talks my ear off anyway about it all for almost an hour.
On chat now, just trying to relax. Snare's ex shows up. Even though by rights I should hate them purely by dint of them being Snare's ex, I normally find them so pathetic that hate always feels so bad I can't sustain it for more than a day. 26 and never had a job. A weird bodied bloviator who somehow manages to be both transgendered and transphobic at the same time, who frequently outs all of their friends on Facebook without asking. A person who's idea of an apology is always, "I'm sorry you feel that way," and who never finishes anything they start. Ever.
They're asking what I think of their computer build. A whole list of parts. So, before I could afford to do art for a living, this was my job, right? I'm a tech nerd. So I do the usual things. You know, your CPU is bottlenecked by your GPU unless you're doing video rendering. Save $80 here. Upgrade your L3 cache there. Why are you using AM3 socket? Then I find out this is not a build, but about replacement parts. So half of my advice is now obsolete! Frustrating, right? But they can't even pay for it. When they're done, they start e-begging to pay for it! And now I feel like I'm part of it because I was just helping. Then they post the GoFundMe (which is now CLEARLY outside their TOS and a really scummy thing to do) to Facebook and into chat and tag me.
Now I'm really stressed and we try and watch a movie. Nope. That gets interrupted by Roommate A. Twice. At the climax of the film. Maybe some coffee? Nope. Out of sugar. Maybe we should RP? Nah, I can't. I'm frustrated now and nothing sounds fun. "But I'm bored." Well now I feel frustrated and guilty. How about lunch? Nope. They can't find my house and never show up. Eventually call to find out what happens after I'm suitably starving and the order was cancelled. Go out? I'm angry during Hat Day. I either take off the hat and end the ONE GOOD THING about today or go out looking like a cranky old woman in a rabbit hat. So I just stay home. Maybe buy a new video game for Snare to play? No. The shady company he bought the key from wanted photo ID to confirm the purchase and neither one of us were comfortable with that. Go through that whole customer support nightmare. Speaking of nightmares, try to take a nap because fuck like, HAVE a nightmare.
Wake up. Sit here. In this chair. Roommate B comes in and asks for money. Now. Understand that Roommate B has not paid rent in almost 3 months. Roommate B lost her foodstamp card only 4 days ago. I gave Roommate B $20 so they don't stave while they get a new card. They spend it on soda and toiletries. Roommate B then stole $15 in change from my change jar and bought pizzas and who knows what else with it. Roommate B then asked me for more money 2 days later. I only had $8 on me. Now Roommate B is in my office for the 3rd time asking (but 4th time taking) money from me over the course of 4 days. For the same reason. Food. Now I give her an additional $10, bringing the total cost of food for her in 4 days to $53. I have it out with her, and she says she's sorry, but at this point fuck her.
Fuck everything today. I am a mean, selfish person right now. My teeth are fucking bared. Still, I really tried to warm up for a stream today. Couldn't. I'm staring at angry scribbles right now and I just... can't.
Here's hoping things go better. I'd hate to think how it could be worse. =(
Why the fuck are you living there, surrounded by shitty people, and doing things you know you'll regret? Giving money to scammers. Associating with people who are only there because they can successfully mooch of you. Letting them walk all over you and bother you because....?
At some point I only see this getting worse and worse for you. You're going to do something you regret. Perhaps you've put off thinking about these things because it's hard to admit that somewhere down the line, you fucked up and you're responsible for why you're in the mess. Yes, these are shitty people and what they do is not good for you, but yet you choose to not do something about it.
Get out while you still can.
That is NOT to say "This day sucked and it's all your fault." It's to say I suggest you and Snare plan and then work towards leaving these deadbeats behind. It's probably not something you can do right away, but if it might take a long time that is all the more reason to start at it now. I had a similar experience with a roomate, and it took 6 months to get everything together and leave. But every day since then I have been so glad I did so.
Very sorry to hear this story. I hope you find yourself some better surroundings, and people who both appreciate you and support themselves fully! Wish I could offer you more than words towards that end.
Uggh.. I just can't stand moochers and scammers. I agree with Echoen, Your roommates sound like absolute poison. Staying around then seems like it will only get worse with more time.
I really hope things will be better for you tomorrow, and that maybe one of your roommates spontaneously combust.
Sorry your housemates harshed your cool and ruined your Wa on "Hat Day" no less; people, even generally good people, will do that from time to time.
Many of these things are pretty obnoxious, like the grown man getting all whiny about not having a hooka readied for him at 4 am (tip for the future, send him some how to instructions, a DIY youtube vid, etc.. and tell him politely that he is on his own in the future.) Worse still is roomate B stealing money (arguably stealing in multiple ways what with skimping on the rent for three months.) That you have to put the kibash on ASAP, because if you let this stand it will only get worse I promise you
You remind me a lot of my second cousin: she is unerringly sweet and generous. A lot of people have been aided by her generosity and as such she has probably been a great boon to society. But in the iron age of Kahli humanity is full of leeches and invariably unerringly good people end up getting human remoras attatched to them that they can't get rid of, only because they are unwilling to really lay down the law when necessary or stop being unerringly generous even when situations call for it. Gotta' lance those fuckers. Seriously, once in a while one must learn to turn on the bitchraft to work some magic. My mother told me when I was really young that "If a woman goes through her whole life without anyone calling her a 'bitch' she probably didn't stand for anything including that which needed to be stood for." ... I would add if a woman goes through life and most people think she is a bitch ... well then she probably is, but there is a happy medium to these things.
You own that domacile, you are the Lady of the manor, sometimes bitches need bootin' and if bitches need bootin' then you are empowered to boot bitches (within the terms and limits of renter's protection laws obviously). If nothing else simply pointing out to people who need a talkn' to that theft and usery are not to be tollerated and that housemates who resort to that will need to be removed (regardless of weather you have the intention of doing so) will help. Its not a selfish act if it really needs to be done (and if theft and usery are occuring it dose really need to be done) because it makes people think twice about behaving that way to others. So laying down the law when necessary protects other good people while failing to do so will reward bad people and thus encourage them to act that way to others.
That being said while rather obnoxious you would be a lot happier if you didn't let certain things bother you. I mean I totally understand why e-begging incompitent perpetually jobless moochers piss you off, they can piss us all off, but you do work very hard to earn money so watching people like this expect it to rain on them for free must drive you up the wall. But, just don't think about it. We only have so many fucks to give so spend them wisely young padawan. I am not sure I believe in karma in terms of some supernatural force, and it certainly doesn't apply to everything (unfortunately), but there are things it clearly does. Useless e-beggers are one of them. With a few unfortunate exceptions (like those who are sufficiently famous), if they don't get their act together in two decades or so they are going to end up in a horrible rock bottom place from which they cannot escape - a litteral living IRL hell. Don't waste your limited fucks here, these people will sort themselves out in time according to their own "earned" just desserts eventually. Ignoring them and saving your fucks for important things - like roomate B who is stealing from you - will leave you so much happier in life, I promise.
This goes double for Mr. steam-punk. Clearly he has an obsession, so however obnoxious he is going to find any excuse to put together and show off his whole ensomble. It is not worth it to let it bother you. Lets take your analogy of the adult party where someone, lets call him Garry, shows up in BSDM gear. First, where that analogy is weak is there is no overlap between what is happening, his costume has a hat and that is a thing at your party - he just went way to far and didn't quite understand. So it is more like an adult oarty with the theme of "leather" (implied but unsaid "fancy dress") to which Garry shows up in BSDM gear. Silly and wrong, but an understandable misconception especially when you factor in how much Garry realy loves BSDM gear and looks for ever possible opertunity to wear it. Unless Gary is your son or something the solution is to just roll your eyes laugh and think "Oh Garry you just don't get it do you?" If it really bothers you and you can't let it go just let him know "uhhhh ... it is just hay day not cosplay day." Save your fucks they are too precious for Garry ocassionally getting confused by his over-optimism and putting on his coveted BSDM gear when it isn't really hurting anyone.
As for things like the undelivered (canceled) food and the bad game key ... well that does just suck especially since it all just pilled up on an already shitty day. You def have my sympathies there. You may have been a blue-Blue on "Hat Day" but the best advice for all of this is Scarlett: tomorrow is another day.
Feel better