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Wolfespada Star Wars Reviews - Revenge of the Sith
9 years ago
Welcome to Star Wars Episode 3: Revenge of the Sith (ROTS)
“It’s the best of the prequels. It’s as good as Empire Strikes Back.” I’ve heard left and right. No… just… no. You really don’t know any better. 3 years later, 2005, Lucas still didn’t learn his lesson, but like before I was entranced by the trailers. I think we all went cuz we all HAD to know how it ended.
Before I start, lemme make it clear I WON’T review the Clone Wars pilot movie or its series. I hated the movie and only saw 8 episodes of the 1st season and stopped. I keep hearing it gets good later on, but I am NOT interested in watching it ever.
Even if I did want to, it would still involve characters I hardly know, flat-out don’t care about, or absolutely hate fighting a war that’s being waged over nothing.
Con: What did the Separatists want to make this giant Droid Army, where they going to attack the Republic. People equate this Clone War to the Civil War, but it’s so not true. This war seems to be over nothing.
Pro: General Grievous was cool, but even though he makes stupid mistakes throughout.
Con: The tone of this film goes from slapstick comedy to dark and grim then back to comedy all in this first act of the two Jedi trying to rescue ol’ Palpy. Hell the entire plan Palpy had to get himself captured and taken away is so convoluted I can’t even explain it here.
Con: “Sith Lords are out specialty.” Really, Obi-wan? To be fair, this movie came out 3 years before the Clone Wars series, so whatever
Con: In fact, who or what are the Sith?! The subtitle of this is their revenge. What do they want revenge for? This film doesn’t take 5 minutes to give us any proper explanations at all. Say they’re fallen Jedi. But no, Lucas expected us to know or even care.
Con: Anakin kills Dooku per Palpy’s command. He says they must leave when there’s no real hurry, telling him to abandon an injured Obi-wan before ‘it’s too late’. But no, out ‘heroes’ cannot put two brain cells together to think that Palpy’s being suspicious.
Con: So it’s been 3 years since the last and apparently this war has been fought all over, and mainly on Courisant, yet it doesn’t even look phased by it. No war-torn damage to the city, traffic is still in the air. It’s like the ‘war’ was just a big inconvenience.
Con: The Jedi are in command of the Clones, but they seem so disorganized.
Con: Anakin finds out Padme’s preggers, and it leads up to one of the most infamous likes in the prequels. “I’m so in love with you.” “So love has blinded you” *facepalm* What seriously did Anakin do to Padme to make him fall in love with her. He straight up killed, he’s open for a dictatorship, bitches everyone out. Padme, you are the reason why Palpy’s chancellor, you’re the reason why almost all the Jedi are dead, and you’re the reason why Anakin became Vader, directly and indirectly. Then comes the premonition of her death and she treats it like nothing.
Con: Yoda can’t tell there’s something wrong with Anakin when he tells him about the premonition. In fact Yoda looks confused about everything throughout these prequels. Hell, I can tell there’s something wrong with him JUST BY LOOKING. You don’t gotta be a psychic or a friggin’ psychologist to see something’s up.
Con: Anakin is put to spy on ol’ Palpy. Why? You’re continuously weary of Anakin, why do that? ‘Oh, but he’s the chosen one’ in the prophecy.” “A prophecy that could’ve been misread.” Ho wrote that damn prophecy, what does bringing balance to the force mean. I said this before and I’ll say it again, that prophecy-crap is utterly useless and pointless. No movie should have prophecy crap, unless you do it like the Lego movie.
Con: My God, Anakin, you are a dumdum!!!! Several times Palpy’s mentioned the dark side and the Sith, and you can’t figure out that JUST MAYBE Palpy’s a Sith Lord? It isn’t until finally, Palpy straight tells him he was. And when Anakin tells the other Jedi, they walk at a steady pace.
Con: The many ways Palpy coulda been taken down were so numerous, it’s hilarious. Take blood samples, confront him where there’s a lot of witnesses, or my favorite, CHECK OUT THE FRIGGIN’ SECURTIY FOOTAGE! There’s trying to work in ways to make things fit in a prequel where its component, and then there’s just going through things by the seat of your pants, pulling crap outta your ass!
Pro: People have speculations that Palpy’s old master, Darth Plagus, might be Snoke from the Force Awakens. We’ll have to see.
Pro: The Clones continue to be awesome.
Con: Obi-wan’s still a moron. He gets a dragon-like mount that makes SO MUCH NOISE. And when he confronts Grievous, he just lands and says ‘Hello there’. SERIOUSLY, DUDE!?! You can’t drop down and friggin’ slice him ninja-style?! When he finally kills him with a blaster to the heart, he says ‘uncivilized’. Hey, asshole, cutting people into pieces is uncivilized.
Con: Palpy’s entire plan since TPM has made zero sense. Why couldn’t you have sprung that whole trap before? And what would’ve happened if things didn’t go as how you ‘foreseen’? When was he gonna spring this trap? Do his ‘clouding’ abilities have a range? The Jedi are continuously confused by all this, which makes them even more unlikably stupid. Then he frames the Jedi for taking over the Republic. Seriously, what motivation would the Jedi have to do this, now that the war’s over? I would say the inmates are running the asylum when it comes to the utter stupidity of the Republic and the Senate, but I’d like to think of it as Palpy RETURNING sanity to the Republic, oh excuse me, his new Galactic Empire. Either Palpy’s controlling them all or the Senate’s THAT stupid, taking what he’s saying.
Pro: The only character I’ve liked besides Palpy is Bail Organa, Leia’s future adopted father. He seems to actually do something. In fact, there’s a deleted scene where he and a bunch of others are talking about forming the Rebel Alliance. My God, Lucas, this, and the other prequels wouldn’t be so derided if you just added this damn scene!
Pro: One scene where Anakin finally goes to confront Palpy with the other Jedi, we see his anger. That was good.
Pro: The scene where Anakin talks with Obi-wan before they go off on their separate missions was pretty good, though I still don’t see how they could’ve ever been friends.
Con: I actually really felt bad for the Separatists. I’m serious. THEY didn’t even start the war. If they had just left well enough alone, they wouldn’t have been mercilessly slaughtered by Anakin.
Con: Speaking of Anakin, he kills more children and a whole bunch of Jedi… but that shouldn’t be a surprise.
Before I move on, these prequels keep telling us ‘the will of the force’. The same will that let an arrogant, bratty douche join the Order, then later on destroy it, ushering in an era of domination of an evil force, and his wife dying via childbirth. These prequels not only paint the Jedi being asshats, but the force being a jackass that just loved messing with people. This is why I don’t care about religion, saying it’s the will of God for things to happen. For something good to happen a whole bunch of people must die? No, screw that! I don’t mind deities, just the religions they’re based on. But let’s not get into religious debates.
Con: Obi-wan and Yoda shoulda just teamed up instead of splitting off, cuz Yoda fights Palpy where there’s no witnesses.
Con: Uuuugh, that scene with Padme and Anakin… She realizes how evil he is, saying he was a good person. *Spits laughing* Yeah, right! Yeah, he was such a good person. Then saying she can’t believe what she was hearing from him. You didn’t bat an eye when he told you he killed or that he wanted a dictatorship. Then there’s her saying he changed. Are you serious, lady?! He never changed one bit. He was ALWAYS an asshole. Then my favorite line from her, “You’re going down a path I can’t follow.” He already went down that path when he killed the Sand People, Padme, and you DID follow him by marrying him.
Con: Once he sees Obi-wan, he thinks she and him are there to kill him, then force-chokes her out.
Con: Yoda pretty much gave up and goes to exile.
Con: They have that fight, but it goes on for so long it’s so boring, ending up in him getting the rest of his limbs hacked off, then left him to burn. Why not put him out of his misery?
Pro: Obi-wan takes Anakin’s lightsaber, which DID fit in with the next one… the lightsaber that hacked so many people, including children.
Con: Padme’s dying and is about to give birth to TWINS…. She’s dying cuz she lost the will to live. Really? REALLY, PADME?! You’re having twins… and you don’t think it’s worth living for them?! I know I shouldn’t be saying this, but I’m actually happy she died. That whole thing with you giving up living is what really made me hate her. Why not just say Anakin’s force-choke did far more damage than they thought, like it crushed ga lung. Anything other than… THIS!!!
Con: So Padme gives birth and dies. But the funny thing is that R2 is there to witness along with Yoda, bringing up another hole when Luke and R2 come to Dagobah, surprise they didn’t go ‘hey, I know you!’
Pro: Seeing Anakin get put into the suit was pretty cool.
Con: The twins are split up, Anakin will look after the boy, Luke, and Yoda tells him about Ghost Gui-Gon… yeah, just throw that in there for no reason.
Con: C3PO’s memories are to be wiped… but not R2’s? *Sighs* OK
Pro/Con: Padme’s funeral scene is the ONLY time we see Jar Jar. And we see Padme’s family, and if you didn’t see the deleted scenes where we see them, you’re wondering who the hell are these people. Yeah, Luke and Leia got aunts and uncles on other planets, and this is the last we ever see of them.
Pro: Vader and Palpy looking on the first Death Star construction was pretty cool.
Con: They mimic Luke’s scene looking on the twin suns when Obi-wan hands baby Luke to Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru… seriously!
These prequel movies SUCK! I cannot find ONE true positive to say about them. I really can’t.
These movies are the very definition why I hate prequels except for Tremors 4. These stories are horribly written, badly acted, utterly laughable piles of cinematic Bantha Poodoo! They contradict and convolute the Originals and in when certain scenes happen with so many inconsistencies and nonsensical crap. It’s just nuts, and Lucas should be ashamed for not giving a crap and looking back on the originals. I feel so sorry for his kids, hell I feel sorry for Jake Lloyd that played kid Anakin.
Why my dad loves these prequels, or why anyone else defends them to such a degree is mindboggling to me. “Oh cuz they’re original unlike The Force Awakenes.” If you honestly think that, I have zero hope for you.
The absolute reason why I, or anyone else, LOVES the originals to begin with, was because it was a scifi fantasy tale about good and evil AND NOT POLITICS. We get to know the characters, see them grow, and we root for them till the very end. These characters are still so memorable to pop culture cuz of their friendships with each other, and likeable attitudes. I didn’t like ONE SINGLE PERSON in these prequels other than Palpy and Organa. The Force Awakens reinvigorated why I fell in love with Star Wars when I was 7 years old. I absolutely LOVE the new characters in that movie, and I CANNOT wait to see what they go through.
Rey, Finn, Poe, and BB-8… don’t let ANYONE, not even these, so-called ‘true Star Wars fans’, tell you guys you’re copycats of Jar Jar Binks, stereotypes, Mary Sues, caricatures, or what have you. THAT IS ALL A BUNCH OF SHIT, AND I AM GOING TO EXPLAIN WHY WHEN I REVIEW THAT MOVIE!!!! You guys rock, and I wanna get your Lego Minifigures so bad.
Y’know I actually wanted to be a Jedi when I was little. Become a cop in the afterlife with a partner with a mustache so thick you can’t understand him, become a reaper-samurai following orders of a bunch of jackasses whose word is so lawfully stupid it’s no wonder why enemies keep springing up, or become a knight-monk whose not allowed to show any emotion in a healthy way. Y’know what? To hell with all of that.
*Puts on his metal combat suit* I’m Space Sherriff Chaser, and I’m putting these prequels out of their misery!
*Cocks his gun* X-Crasher! *He shoots and obliterates all 3 prequel films.
Stay tuned this week when I give my thoughts to both Batman and Superman.
Thanks for your time.
“It’s the best of the prequels. It’s as good as Empire Strikes Back.” I’ve heard left and right. No… just… no. You really don’t know any better. 3 years later, 2005, Lucas still didn’t learn his lesson, but like before I was entranced by the trailers. I think we all went cuz we all HAD to know how it ended.
Before I start, lemme make it clear I WON’T review the Clone Wars pilot movie or its series. I hated the movie and only saw 8 episodes of the 1st season and stopped. I keep hearing it gets good later on, but I am NOT interested in watching it ever.
Even if I did want to, it would still involve characters I hardly know, flat-out don’t care about, or absolutely hate fighting a war that’s being waged over nothing.
Con: What did the Separatists want to make this giant Droid Army, where they going to attack the Republic. People equate this Clone War to the Civil War, but it’s so not true. This war seems to be over nothing.
Pro: General Grievous was cool, but even though he makes stupid mistakes throughout.
Con: The tone of this film goes from slapstick comedy to dark and grim then back to comedy all in this first act of the two Jedi trying to rescue ol’ Palpy. Hell the entire plan Palpy had to get himself captured and taken away is so convoluted I can’t even explain it here.
Con: “Sith Lords are out specialty.” Really, Obi-wan? To be fair, this movie came out 3 years before the Clone Wars series, so whatever
Con: In fact, who or what are the Sith?! The subtitle of this is their revenge. What do they want revenge for? This film doesn’t take 5 minutes to give us any proper explanations at all. Say they’re fallen Jedi. But no, Lucas expected us to know or even care.
Con: Anakin kills Dooku per Palpy’s command. He says they must leave when there’s no real hurry, telling him to abandon an injured Obi-wan before ‘it’s too late’. But no, out ‘heroes’ cannot put two brain cells together to think that Palpy’s being suspicious.
Con: So it’s been 3 years since the last and apparently this war has been fought all over, and mainly on Courisant, yet it doesn’t even look phased by it. No war-torn damage to the city, traffic is still in the air. It’s like the ‘war’ was just a big inconvenience.
Con: The Jedi are in command of the Clones, but they seem so disorganized.
Con: Anakin finds out Padme’s preggers, and it leads up to one of the most infamous likes in the prequels. “I’m so in love with you.” “So love has blinded you” *facepalm* What seriously did Anakin do to Padme to make him fall in love with her. He straight up killed, he’s open for a dictatorship, bitches everyone out. Padme, you are the reason why Palpy’s chancellor, you’re the reason why almost all the Jedi are dead, and you’re the reason why Anakin became Vader, directly and indirectly. Then comes the premonition of her death and she treats it like nothing.
Con: Yoda can’t tell there’s something wrong with Anakin when he tells him about the premonition. In fact Yoda looks confused about everything throughout these prequels. Hell, I can tell there’s something wrong with him JUST BY LOOKING. You don’t gotta be a psychic or a friggin’ psychologist to see something’s up.
Con: Anakin is put to spy on ol’ Palpy. Why? You’re continuously weary of Anakin, why do that? ‘Oh, but he’s the chosen one’ in the prophecy.” “A prophecy that could’ve been misread.” Ho wrote that damn prophecy, what does bringing balance to the force mean. I said this before and I’ll say it again, that prophecy-crap is utterly useless and pointless. No movie should have prophecy crap, unless you do it like the Lego movie.
Con: My God, Anakin, you are a dumdum!!!! Several times Palpy’s mentioned the dark side and the Sith, and you can’t figure out that JUST MAYBE Palpy’s a Sith Lord? It isn’t until finally, Palpy straight tells him he was. And when Anakin tells the other Jedi, they walk at a steady pace.
Con: The many ways Palpy coulda been taken down were so numerous, it’s hilarious. Take blood samples, confront him where there’s a lot of witnesses, or my favorite, CHECK OUT THE FRIGGIN’ SECURTIY FOOTAGE! There’s trying to work in ways to make things fit in a prequel where its component, and then there’s just going through things by the seat of your pants, pulling crap outta your ass!
Pro: People have speculations that Palpy’s old master, Darth Plagus, might be Snoke from the Force Awakens. We’ll have to see.
Pro: The Clones continue to be awesome.
Con: Obi-wan’s still a moron. He gets a dragon-like mount that makes SO MUCH NOISE. And when he confronts Grievous, he just lands and says ‘Hello there’. SERIOUSLY, DUDE!?! You can’t drop down and friggin’ slice him ninja-style?! When he finally kills him with a blaster to the heart, he says ‘uncivilized’. Hey, asshole, cutting people into pieces is uncivilized.
Con: Palpy’s entire plan since TPM has made zero sense. Why couldn’t you have sprung that whole trap before? And what would’ve happened if things didn’t go as how you ‘foreseen’? When was he gonna spring this trap? Do his ‘clouding’ abilities have a range? The Jedi are continuously confused by all this, which makes them even more unlikably stupid. Then he frames the Jedi for taking over the Republic. Seriously, what motivation would the Jedi have to do this, now that the war’s over? I would say the inmates are running the asylum when it comes to the utter stupidity of the Republic and the Senate, but I’d like to think of it as Palpy RETURNING sanity to the Republic, oh excuse me, his new Galactic Empire. Either Palpy’s controlling them all or the Senate’s THAT stupid, taking what he’s saying.
Pro: The only character I’ve liked besides Palpy is Bail Organa, Leia’s future adopted father. He seems to actually do something. In fact, there’s a deleted scene where he and a bunch of others are talking about forming the Rebel Alliance. My God, Lucas, this, and the other prequels wouldn’t be so derided if you just added this damn scene!
Pro: One scene where Anakin finally goes to confront Palpy with the other Jedi, we see his anger. That was good.
Pro: The scene where Anakin talks with Obi-wan before they go off on their separate missions was pretty good, though I still don’t see how they could’ve ever been friends.
Con: I actually really felt bad for the Separatists. I’m serious. THEY didn’t even start the war. If they had just left well enough alone, they wouldn’t have been mercilessly slaughtered by Anakin.
Con: Speaking of Anakin, he kills more children and a whole bunch of Jedi… but that shouldn’t be a surprise.
Before I move on, these prequels keep telling us ‘the will of the force’. The same will that let an arrogant, bratty douche join the Order, then later on destroy it, ushering in an era of domination of an evil force, and his wife dying via childbirth. These prequels not only paint the Jedi being asshats, but the force being a jackass that just loved messing with people. This is why I don’t care about religion, saying it’s the will of God for things to happen. For something good to happen a whole bunch of people must die? No, screw that! I don’t mind deities, just the religions they’re based on. But let’s not get into religious debates.
Con: Obi-wan and Yoda shoulda just teamed up instead of splitting off, cuz Yoda fights Palpy where there’s no witnesses.
Con: Uuuugh, that scene with Padme and Anakin… She realizes how evil he is, saying he was a good person. *Spits laughing* Yeah, right! Yeah, he was such a good person. Then saying she can’t believe what she was hearing from him. You didn’t bat an eye when he told you he killed or that he wanted a dictatorship. Then there’s her saying he changed. Are you serious, lady?! He never changed one bit. He was ALWAYS an asshole. Then my favorite line from her, “You’re going down a path I can’t follow.” He already went down that path when he killed the Sand People, Padme, and you DID follow him by marrying him.
Con: Once he sees Obi-wan, he thinks she and him are there to kill him, then force-chokes her out.
Con: Yoda pretty much gave up and goes to exile.
Con: They have that fight, but it goes on for so long it’s so boring, ending up in him getting the rest of his limbs hacked off, then left him to burn. Why not put him out of his misery?
Pro: Obi-wan takes Anakin’s lightsaber, which DID fit in with the next one… the lightsaber that hacked so many people, including children.
Con: Padme’s dying and is about to give birth to TWINS…. She’s dying cuz she lost the will to live. Really? REALLY, PADME?! You’re having twins… and you don’t think it’s worth living for them?! I know I shouldn’t be saying this, but I’m actually happy she died. That whole thing with you giving up living is what really made me hate her. Why not just say Anakin’s force-choke did far more damage than they thought, like it crushed ga lung. Anything other than… THIS!!!
Con: So Padme gives birth and dies. But the funny thing is that R2 is there to witness along with Yoda, bringing up another hole when Luke and R2 come to Dagobah, surprise they didn’t go ‘hey, I know you!’
Pro: Seeing Anakin get put into the suit was pretty cool.
Con: The twins are split up, Anakin will look after the boy, Luke, and Yoda tells him about Ghost Gui-Gon… yeah, just throw that in there for no reason.
Con: C3PO’s memories are to be wiped… but not R2’s? *Sighs* OK
Pro/Con: Padme’s funeral scene is the ONLY time we see Jar Jar. And we see Padme’s family, and if you didn’t see the deleted scenes where we see them, you’re wondering who the hell are these people. Yeah, Luke and Leia got aunts and uncles on other planets, and this is the last we ever see of them.
Pro: Vader and Palpy looking on the first Death Star construction was pretty cool.
Con: They mimic Luke’s scene looking on the twin suns when Obi-wan hands baby Luke to Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru… seriously!
These prequel movies SUCK! I cannot find ONE true positive to say about them. I really can’t.
These movies are the very definition why I hate prequels except for Tremors 4. These stories are horribly written, badly acted, utterly laughable piles of cinematic Bantha Poodoo! They contradict and convolute the Originals and in when certain scenes happen with so many inconsistencies and nonsensical crap. It’s just nuts, and Lucas should be ashamed for not giving a crap and looking back on the originals. I feel so sorry for his kids, hell I feel sorry for Jake Lloyd that played kid Anakin.
Why my dad loves these prequels, or why anyone else defends them to such a degree is mindboggling to me. “Oh cuz they’re original unlike The Force Awakenes.” If you honestly think that, I have zero hope for you.
The absolute reason why I, or anyone else, LOVES the originals to begin with, was because it was a scifi fantasy tale about good and evil AND NOT POLITICS. We get to know the characters, see them grow, and we root for them till the very end. These characters are still so memorable to pop culture cuz of their friendships with each other, and likeable attitudes. I didn’t like ONE SINGLE PERSON in these prequels other than Palpy and Organa. The Force Awakens reinvigorated why I fell in love with Star Wars when I was 7 years old. I absolutely LOVE the new characters in that movie, and I CANNOT wait to see what they go through.
Rey, Finn, Poe, and BB-8… don’t let ANYONE, not even these, so-called ‘true Star Wars fans’, tell you guys you’re copycats of Jar Jar Binks, stereotypes, Mary Sues, caricatures, or what have you. THAT IS ALL A BUNCH OF SHIT, AND I AM GOING TO EXPLAIN WHY WHEN I REVIEW THAT MOVIE!!!! You guys rock, and I wanna get your Lego Minifigures so bad.
Y’know I actually wanted to be a Jedi when I was little. Become a cop in the afterlife with a partner with a mustache so thick you can’t understand him, become a reaper-samurai following orders of a bunch of jackasses whose word is so lawfully stupid it’s no wonder why enemies keep springing up, or become a knight-monk whose not allowed to show any emotion in a healthy way. Y’know what? To hell with all of that.
*Puts on his metal combat suit* I’m Space Sherriff Chaser, and I’m putting these prequels out of their misery!
*Cocks his gun* X-Crasher! *He shoots and obliterates all 3 prequel films.
Stay tuned this week when I give my thoughts to both Batman and Superman.
Thanks for your time.
Drag0nK1ngmark
~drag0nk1ngmark
lol well, i can say they did open up to the clone wars series, personally i just liked the worlds and the actions
